Ground control to major Tom.
We have initial sightings of a narcissist.
Can you confirm for me please?
I’m glad you asked. Sometimes, we think we’re talking to a decent human being, only to discover they are in fact, the world’s biggest narcissist.
These 9 signs you are talking to one, are not the only gift I’m offering you today.
I also bring how to respond to the party.
Let’s get stuck in.
#1 They keep butting in
You’re trying so hard to talk to them and have a conversation, but you forget one huge detail:
A conversation usually works both ways.
If you are finding yourself being constantly interrupted, talked over, or being treated like your words don’t matter, you are definitely in the presence of a narcissist.
They will get right under your skin, and as you are silenced with every subject you try to raise in innocent flow, they will cut you off quicker than an electricity company after your final bill reminder.
Respond by saying, “I’m going to finish what I am saying. After that, I’d love to hear your views.”
#2 They ignore you altogether
You are there, in the room, probably even right in front of them, but the narcissist will act like you aren’t even near.
Why?
They don’t care about you. You’re a peasant to them; just somebody who is in their way, and they can’t stand it.
So they ignore you altogether. You think, “What have I done that is so terrible, and why won’t they even just look my way?”
I’ll tell you now, nothing you do will make a difference.
The person in question has already made up their minds that this is how they want to treat you, and you have to lump it.
It does mean though, that you are speaking to a narcissist.
Respond by saying, “Are you ignoring me for any particular reason?”
#3 They look down on you
Have you ever been given that look of:
I’m sorry, and you are?
Do you have any idea whom you are talking to right now?
If that’s the case, then you are most certainly dealing with a narcissist.
I know how frustrating it can feel to want to converse with somebody who is making out like you are just a nobody, and over time it can genuinely alter how you identify in the world.
I am somebody who doesn’t matter.
I’m not good enough.
And yet, you are. Thai is the poison the narcissists give you, and over time, it starts to work.
Respond by walking away. You don’t need to waste your precious time.
#4 They mock you
Being mocked is one sure way to know you’ve got yourself a narcissist in plain sight.
No other person would be crass enough to do that kind of thing to do, would they?
I know we can all tease from time to time, but mockery is cruel; and you become the butt of their joke all the time.
I can’t say I’m a fan of witnessing it, but over my life so far, I have seen people act this way.
I usually take a big step backward and avoid them, knowing the kind of person they are.
That’s what I want for you; to see this mockery as a sign that you are standing before a narcissist
Respond by saying, “Does it make you feel better to mock me, or is there something going on with you today?”
#5 They criticize you
Criticism and narcissism are best friends, and you will never meet one who doesn’t know how to knock you down and make you feel like crap most of the time.
Narcissists tend to do this the happier you feel, because they hate the sight of you smiling. Over time, it can wear a person down and make them feel worthless.
Respond by picturing the narcissist saying whatever critical comment to you, to themselves.
After all, that’s pretty much what they’re doing, and they’re using you as an excuse to feel better about themselves. That’s all this is; projection.
#6 They tell you they don’t have time
Narcissists never have time for people unless it benefits them in some way.
They won’t want to even speak with you, claiming to always be busy and that you’re just in the way, or needy.
It leaves a person feeling neglected, and it’s possible to find yourself fighting for their attention because you’re so starved of it.
Respond by applying the time you want them to give you to yourself instead.
It’s easy to ask and ask a person to want to be around you, but if they are abusive, they never will. Instead, give yourself that love, and know that you are worth every bit of it.
#7 They pull on your triggers or fears
Triggers and fears are only made known to the narcissist based on how much they ask and poke you to get to know your deepest, darkest secrets.
Once known to them, the narcissist will use them against you and put you in situations where you purposely feel unsafe.
Respond by keeping your fears and triggers to yourself. They can be worked on through self-help and support, or professional help.
Ultimately, never let a narcissist know what weakens you. They will weaponize them against you.
#8 They are overly charming
The charm of a narcissist can be hard to spot, especially by those who enjoy pleasant conversation and a nice, positive exchange.
It can be hard to see through a positive disposition, but I can assure you, there are ways.
What you’re looking for is a person who is overly so. Somebody who agrees with everything you say, even going as far as mirroring whatever you say or do to get some kind of rapport going.
The charm almost feels overdue to you, like you’ve been waiting for this kind of company for a long time.
That’s why you enjoy it so much, but what you fail to see is the game at play, and that you are the latest piece in it.
Respond by stepping back and being the observer. Nobody wants you to shut down and not communicate with anybody, but what I do want is for you to switch on and notice when a person appears to be too nice.
Usually, that’s where the first warning sign sits.
#9 They turn everything you say into something about them
Narcissists will turn everything you say into something about them, whether it be a thought, opinion, anecdote or memory.
You won’t feel like you’re talking about yourself without them showing you that:
The same thing happened to me!
Oh my God, that reminds me!
You wait ‘til you hear about when I did that.
Suddenly, you’re biting your lip. You’re being quiet, even though they were just done talking.
It doesn’t seem fair or balanced, but that’s life with a narcissist in a nutshell, right?
Nothing is fair, and nothing is balanced!
