We all get bored from time to time, but the boredom of a narcissist affects not just them but those who know them, too.
You may be familiar with it. Like a bolt out of the blue, they switch how they treat you.
They act out to get your attention, like that’s another thing you need in your life right now!
As unexpected as their boredom is to you, there are ways to somewhat prepare for their games.
I’d like to think being right here, right now is that first step.
External Stimulation: Essential
Narcissists rarely sit and find happiness and contentment in the everyday. Mindfulness is a concept we’re always told is a good thing.
Great for our health. Positive for those who suffer with anxiety or depression. Live in the now, forget the past and stop trying to assume the future.
Narcissists aren’t so hot at being in the moment, especially if there isn’t much to do in it. They’re pretty good at planning, or being spontaneous.
Furthermore, they will knowingly celebrate that spontaneity because it will seem as though they’re adventurous.
In reality, they just can’t stand doing nothing. A slow day equals time to sit with their thoughts of self-hate and the realization that they’re insecure, scared little children trapped in an adult body.
Needing to release that boredom with a pastime is essential for them.
Poor things…
Pick a Fight Out of Nowhere
I think this is the main thing people who deal with narcissists will notice over time.
The need to start a fight just because there is literally nothing else going on in their lives is the height of sadness.
I need attention.
Please look at me.
Listen to me.
React to what I am saying.
Be the person who suddenly needs to say sorry.
Let me control this situation.
Take my mind off how much I hate myself, please!
If a narcissist was brutally honest with themselves, these are the kinds of things that would be spoken aloud.
Instead, the noise comes from mocking. Insulting. Triggering comments. Personal attacks on the way you look, or what tone you said something.
Or what about being late home, even though you’re only 7 minutes late into the front door?
The food wasn’t cooked properly. You added onions when you specifically know it gives them indigestion.
They had a long day and you’re asking too many questions. They feel like giving you the silent treatment because they know it invokes panic in you.
It’ll all come, as respect for you will yet again be neglected and replaced with the dire need to poke and provoke you.
All in the name of boredom.
Ghost or Ignore People
Ignoring or ghosting a person gives the narcissist a chance to take the reins.
There doesn’t have to be something you have said or done wrong, but they can do it knowing you will either chase them for some kind of response, or react in a way that displays pain and sadness.
It’s satisfying for the narcissist , who thrives the most when they see you suffering.
Your tears are joyous to them, and they use them as fuel for their own self-esteem.
Like the classic school bully, narcissists are only happy when they know they’ve got to you.
Treating you differently out of the blue like this is a good way for them to feel like they’ve got control over your emotions, proving their power to themselves.
Don’t let them have it!
See it for what it is: cruel and unnecessary. There’s no need to treat anybody this unfairly, and if you’re being ghosted right now, see it as a sign to close that chapter and leave the past behind you.
Create Unnecessary Chaos
Hmm. Who can I pick on today?
Who can I spread lies about?
Who can I bother?
Who can I make feel anxious?
Who can I get to stop and ask me what’s wrong?
It’s really the weirdest thing, and you’re never going to expect it. Why?
Because you’re never going to know when a narcissist is bored!
I could be right as you head into a meeting, you get a rude text that panics you.
Or what about the morning of an important test or exam? Maybe a job interview? Perhaps it’s in the lead up to your birthday (classic narcissist!)
Whenever it may be – it’ll come out of nowhere.
For the narcissist – it’s perfect.
For you – not so much,
Copy Someone Else’s Personality or Interests
They just can’t find a personality of their own, can they?
Narcissists are usually hot on copying other people, albeit covertly. Those who are more likely to be cloned by a narcissist are popular, kind, passionate and giving people.
Pillars of society!
It’s like the narcissist is thinking, “I like what I see here. They seem like everybody likes them and trusts them. So I must make myself like them!”
Copying their moves, mannerisms, what they like, where they shop, hobbies and interests – you name it.
It’s very strange to me that a person can’t carve out their own identity, but narcissists aren’t always the best ones to look at for a genuine character.
That’s why they steal pieces of everybody else!
Love Bomb Someone Randomly
How else does a narcissist expect to get the loving attention they so desperately crave if they aren’t love-bombing somebody random in order for that quick fix?
Love-bombing isn’t just for the spouse of the narcissist – it can be for absolutely anybody.
Oh wow, you look amazing!
You’re just so clever. How do you do it?
Hey, anything to help.
We should go for a drink and swap ideas about that business idea.
My treat, honestly. Put your purse away. I’ve got this.
Narcissists will use any avenue to get into a person’s good books, and what that will do is a few things.
It will, of course, automatically set the narcissist up with a new source of supply.
Secondly, it’s going to mean an instant ally if things go wrong for them. They will have somebody to back them up, and defend them as a good, upstanding person.
Anything to relieve that boredom.
Start Posting Cryptic or Attention-Seeking Content Online
Anything for lies for likes, right?
Narcissists are so good at doing this.
Either posting something rude, crude, heavily filtered, or half true just for people to respond to them.
And the best part (come on, we all know what’s coming…):
I won’t write what it is on here. I’ll DM you.
So if you want to know what’s wrong, you have to ask them privately after the public display.
I find it quite funny, and I just let it go over my head.
Clearly the narcissist is bored! Don’t give them the satisfaction of chasing their latest attention-seeking crap.
When a narcissist is bored, you’d think all will be well – quiet even.
There’s no such luck, sadly. In fact, a narcissist’s boredom usually means the start of something that you may just have to buckle up for.
It’s when I find they’re their most troublesome, and you know what that spells?
Chaos in your life. As if you need any more of it!
