You saw the narcissist off, and waved them into the sunset. But wait, their ship turned, and now they’re back in your harbor, wanting a place to dock and start over again.
Sounds like an accident waiting to happen to me.
The narcissist may return, but they will bring these 9 sadistic games with them to play the second you let them back in.
If you want to be warned, then keep reading.
#1 The game of repetition
You let them in, and you think what a great idea it was…
…Until you realize very quickly that it was the worst mistake of your life.
Why?
Because the second you let any narcissist back in your life, they revert back to their original, sick, unpleasant, painful games. You know, the ones they played when you thought they loved you and cared about you.
They played you out and caused pain, and now you are letting them in to do it all over again.
This isn’t healthy at all, and I would actively beg you to not do it.
The cheating, the lies, the control; it will all come back to you and teach you the world’s hardest lesson:
That you should never believe a narcissist who makes any kind of promise to do better.
It’s nothing but a pathetic excuse to get you to let them in so they can continue the quest to abuse you.
#2 Liar, Liar
The lies! They begin, and they don’t stop. In fact, did they ever stop at all?!
For starters, the narcissist tells you how much they love you. That’s lie number one, and a big one. They only love the idea of controlling you.
Then we have the countless ways they throw words your way and expect you to believe them.
You’re so fat now.
You are useless.
Your hobbies are laughable.
You are so needy.
You annoyed me today.
The lies are hideous, and they’re presented in ways that make victims believe and live in alignment with them.
The lying will begin as soon as you let the narcissist back in, even the promise from them that they will never lie, is a lie!
#3 Roll the boundary dice
The narcissist will tell you that they will respect your boundaries as you let them in.
Nodding as you reel them off, they will make a pact to keep your morals of utmost importance to them, but it won’t last.
Soon enough, you’ll be challenged, even if you said you don’t want conflict. Drama will grow, and the pressure will be on you to break what you deemed important.
You can try your luck, but the boundary dice will never roll in your favor.
#4 “How much can you take?”
A narcissist is always keen to know your limits, and all the sick ways they try and figure that out are always top of their list of priorities the second you let them back in.
As you’re treated so terribly, the narcissist will be clocking what you are tolerating, so they know where to draw the line with you.
As it stands, it’s unlikely that there will be much of any line.
Letting them back in will tell them that your lines don’t exist, and with that, the more you allow, the more they will push and get away with.
Be prepared for more cheating and lies.
#5 Gaslight central
I told you before, you’re being too sensitive about this.
I thought we promised we both wouldn’t do this again?
Why are you making a big deal out of it?
I told you I am not the person I was before.
Hearing these phrases are a huge sign that you are reverting right back to the dynamic you were in before the narcissist left.
It proves the narcissist hasn’t changed or grown, and you are left right back where you were; doubting yourself and your reality.
This is the kind of game that never truly stops until you say goodbye forever to the narcissist.
They will continue to gaslight you because they want you to be so unsure that you just end up believing them.
#6 “Forgive me?”
If you’re going to forgive the narcissist just because they asked you to, then you’re in for a world of pain.
I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell somebody that they’re forgiven without a hard reason to.
Actions, intention, remorse; these are all the things to look for when you are forgiving.
Otherwise you’re simply forgiving somebody because they’ve asked you to, which isn’t a good enough reason.
It’s sadistic to think that you can get away with whatever you do, and keep doing the same thing over and over, continuing that request.
Soon enough, it starts to mean nothing to the narcissist, and nothing to you, either.
#7 “I’ll love you again… briefly”
The narcissist will never directly say this, but that’s essentially why they’ve come back into your life.
You think it’s love, and you’re over the moon that you get a second chance to be with the narcissist and prove your love to them.
Things feel amazing, and you have all these plans moving forward that prove you are willing to give it a try and show your commitment to them.
What you don’t know is that the narcissist never loved you. Even though they’re back and telling you they love you all over again, it’s not going to last more than five minutes.
All it does for your poor heart is reiterate what you think love is. Love is not a lie. It is not abuse, nor is it the feeling of dread of disappointment.
Sure, love is hard, but it’s not unpleasant.
Narcissists make it so by pretending to come back loving you hard, when in reality, they can’t stand you.
#8 Eating up space
When the narcissist leaves, victims talk about the kind of space they feel afterward.
At first, it might feel daunting to experience a void in your life that was once filled with so much chaos.
After a little time, that space starts to be filled with hobbies, friends, a social life, or just being able to relax knowing nothing bad will happen.
When they return, the sadistic part is, that space will be emptied of all the things that bring you joy, and refilled by them.
You lose yourself, and they only only allow that, but encourage it.
#9 Back to how it was
I’m afraid to say that, yes, the worst aspect of it all combined is that you go right back to how you were before the narcissist left.
You become a shell of yourself once more, and any confidence you gained by them leaving has now been lost again.
I don’t like to say this kind of thing, because it’s so brutal. Just know that if you are accepting a narcissist back into your life, they aren’t going to come back respectfully.
Damaging your life is their main priority, and coming back will not only do that, it will also leave scars that will never fully heal.
