You think you know everything about narcissists, including what you can expect from them in certain situations.
Then, one day, you’re out driving and notice you’re filled with terror. This is something new!
Usually, your problems with the narcissist come from their abusive, manipulative tactics during routine interactions and communication.
It turns out that narcissistic traits don’t just affect daily interactions. They extend to every area of life.
So, if you’re feeling unsafe when they’re driving, you’re not alone.
Why you feel so unsafe
If you’ve never been fearful about someone’s driving before, you might be shocked when you’re struck with fear while in the car with the narcissist.
Don’t worry; you haven’t lost your mind. Many people are in your shoes, experiencing extreme concern over the narcissist’s driving habits.
You feel unsafe for the same reason you’d feel uneasy in any situation with a narcissist. If you need a reminder of who the narcissist is, we’ll cover the reasons below.
They lack empathy for you
If you feel unsafe with the narcissist behind the wheel, it’s probably because of their lack of empathy.
They don’t care about your safety or comfort while driving, so they aren’t mindful that you might be uneasy in the first place.
Because of their lack of empathy, any concerns you voice will be dismissed. They don’t care if you feel unsafe.
Toughen up! That’s what they need you to do!
Of course, they’re wrong, but you get the point.
They can be quite impulsive
Narcissists aren’t generally thinking about risk or consequences. They don’t have to worry about consequences anyway, because they’ll just blame someone else and move on with their day if something tragic happens.
When it comes to driving, this means they’re only living for the current moment. If speeding or breaking the law meets their current need, they don’t care how it affects you.
This impulsivity can leave you feeling quite fearful as they hit the gas pedal and weave in and out of lanes.
They need to be in control
The narcissist needs to have control and dominance over you, so they will dismiss any concerns you express related to their driving.
If you give them feedback about their driving being out of control, you disrespect their dominance. The narcissist calls all the shots, including when driving.
When their driving scares you, don’t expect it to change. Disrespecting them by pointing out their terrible driving might just prompt them to drive even more erratically.
They’ll show you!
They’re prone to road rage
In case you forgot, narcissists are superior to everyone else, and their needs come first. They don’t care if others have needs, hopes, dreams, or desires.
This translates into extreme road rage on the road. If someone cuts them off or they feel they aren’t getting the treatment they deserve, they will lose their cool.
This can result in tailgating, slamming on the breaks, or taking extreme risks to pass another car.
The narcissist doesn’t have time to deal with other people on the road. If they’re made to deal with them in a way they don’t want to, expect some scary, raged-fueled driving.
They have a strong sense of entitlement
The rules of the road don’t apply to narcissists. Speed limits are just a suggestion; they certainly don’t have to show common courtesy to other drivers.
Remember, narcissists are entitled to do what they want, when they want. Did you forget that they’re special?
This sense of entitlement can lead to some pretty bizarre driving. The narcissist doesn’t care if it upsets you. They get to drive this way because they want to!
If they have someplace to be, they will prioritize their own desires over your feelings of safety, every time.
They gaslight you
If you have fears about the narcissist’s driving, they will never be alleviated. That’s because when you mention how fearful you are, the narcissist will hit you with one of their favorite tactics: gaslighting.
They’ll make you the bad guy rather than take accountability and apologize for scaring you.
You’re no fun!
You’re overreacting!
You’re such a baby, afraid of everything!
You’re so uptight!
You’re always telling me what to do!
The narcissist’s goal is to convince you that you’re the crazy one, and your perception of their driving is all wrong.
All of this means that they get to keep driving like the unhinged manipulator they are, and you remain fearful.
They’re caught up in their own world
Narcissists cannot see anything outside their needs, desires, and circumstances.
If they’re in the middle of an important text message conversation or feel the need to browse social media while driving, they’ll do exactly this.
Nevermind the fact that they’re driving in rush hour traffic, as you clench your jaw in the passenger’s seat. They don’t care that there is a road they must watch!
All they know is they’re distracted by something much more important, and they don’t care about your safety.
No wonder you’re so afraid!
They think they’re special
Narcissistic people tend to perceive that they are unique and more special than others.
When it comes to driving, this leads them to believe they can take risks others simply cannot take.
For instance, the narcissist feels that because they are so special, they can drive at excessive speeds without consequences.
Their belief in their superiority may even lead them to believe that they can drive recklessly and remain safe, almost as if they are invincible or possess superhuman powers.
This leaves you feeling quite unsafe, because you’re the rational one. You know that the narcissist is human, just like the rest of us, and they aren’t immune to the consequences of unsafe driving.
They’re asserting themselves
Narcissists may use their driving to assert their dominance and superiority over others. This means driving recklessly to strut their stuff, showing everyone else they rule the road.
In rush hour traffic, they’ll cut others off, pass them erratically, and ride other drivers’ tail ends to show off their skills.
When another driver exceeds the speed limit, the narcissist may feel that the driver is trying to be superior. They can’t have this!
Triggered by another fast driver on the road, the narcissist has to do even better. They’ll put the pedal to the metal, reaching dangerous speeds as they leave this other driver in the dust.
The takeaway: You have every reason to feel unsafe
When you feel unsafe with the narcissist driving, you may think you’re crazy. Perhaps you’re just imagining things or simply overreacting.
Don’t let yourself fall into this line of thinking. You have numerous reasons to feel unsafe with the narcissist in the driver’s seat.
They tend to be reckless drivers, concerned only about their own desires. They’ll dismiss any worries you express, because they don’t have empathy for your experience, and they want to continue doing things their way.
