Narcissists love a stranger. It gives them a huge sense of provide and excitement to give off a first impression to somebody they don’t know, and it has to be just right.
A narcissist would rather impress somebody they’ve met for the first time rather than take care of you, and it signals just how strong their lack of compassion and care for you really is.
These 9 reasons why they choose to live that way make their abuse clear as day, and it’s high time you all became aware of just how low they will go to get what they want.
#1 First impressions mean everything
There is an art to first impressions when it comes to narcissists. They love to be able to meet somebody for the first time, and make it a positively unforgettable experience.
The smile becomes polished, the tone is confident and friendly, and the energy is affectionate and attentive to the other person.
Over time, narcissists learn to study who works, and what doesn’t. They then see a first impression as an investment, and the earlier people like them, the more successful they see themselves.
With you, that time has come and gone. They don’t care any more; they just want to connect with people who are new and exciting.
#2 Charm affects opinion
The charm of a narcissist is a powerful tool. They know exactly what to say to flatter somebody new, and they will agree with everything just to connect and create a bond. It’s entertaining to them, and that’s because it isn’t genuine.
The narcissist wants people to feel good around them, because that will shape how any new person perceives them.
If they’re at ease, they’re considered to be good, warm people. Good things are then assumed about them, and that’s a form of protection for the narcissist.
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Impressing them means they get to offer out a reputation that doesn’t even exist.
#3 Opinion affects reputation
There is nothing more valuable than the currency of repudiation for the narcissist.
The more people they meet, the more people out there will see them as kind, loving, generous, and all the other beautiful things they can sell as counterfeit personality traits.
They don’t want scrutiny, they want to look amazing. If they can gain that strong reputation, then it makes it harder for people to believe that they might be a toxic narcissist.
#4 Reputation affects how people think of you
When a narcissist builds an image, it has to be unbreakable. There can be no fault, no cracks, and no room for doubt.
If they are admired, then your opinion of them will become the problem.
Narcissists want to be respected, and in turn, you are nothing but difficult.
When you speak up and say, “This person is actually a narcissist, so beware,” what you’re doing is showing people a side of the narcissist they haven’t seen for themselves. They will think it’s fake, and that you’re out to cause trouble.
If they can offer an unforgettable first impression that exudes nothing but charm, their fake persona will win, and you will end up looking like a fool.
That’s why they care more about protecting what isn’t real.
#5 You know the narcissist by now
You’ve been there long enough to have seen behind the curtain. The narcissist’s mask has slipped more than several times, and the charm doesn’t fool you any more.
Not when you’ve seen them yell, stomp, shout and scream at you. Not when they’ve ripped all that is good about you away from you.
You’re dangerous to the narcissist, it’s official! You can speak up and expose them at any time, and that makes them want to double down on managing how others see them, especially initially.
If people believe you, the game is over. They can’t let that happen, so they become obsessed with meeting people for the first time, and passing over charm like it’s toast at breakfast.
Here, have some!
Have more!
People become blindsided. Remember, you were too once, too, right?
#6 An ego boost
Oh my goodness, does admiration feed the narcissist?
Absolutely!
Any attention they can get, praise for the smallest of things, validation; you name it.
From strangers, this is gold, and that’s why narcissists are so keen to sniff out people they don’t know and put on the act that always works, and never fails.
As approval is chased this constantly, it is for joy, not survival. Narcissists are pretty empty people, and the rush of a stranger’s validation fills that void. Once it becomes empty again, they go out and do it all over again.
The same rush isn’t matched with you.
#7 Future supply?
With every good interaction and impression comes a backup plan the narcissist holds onto.
In the future, if they need a source of supply, they can do the same all over again with somebody brand new.
They know what works, and what fuels their ego. New admirers, new friends (or allies, as we should refer to them as), and new resources for emotions they can’t produce themselves without the need for others.
Narcissists meet people and plant seeds because they know they will grow into supply.
They want to feel good, so they steal what others have, whether those things are on offer or not.
#8 Gaslighting you more likely to work
Maybe I’m the problem.
Perhaps this was me all along.
You doubt yourself. If everybody is falling in love with the narcissist upon first meeting, maybe you’re imagining the abuse.
STOP!
This is gaslighting at its finest, and I assure you, is exactly why the narcissist puts on such a strong, convincing act in front of strangers.
Public approval only addresses strength to how they mainplate you in private, because you are seeing two different people, but you’re the only one seeing it.
This was always going to be their goal.
#9 Leaving you feeling unimportant: perfect!
When you feel unimportant, the narcissist knows their plans and games are working. The world revolves around them, and while that happens, your world is shrinking.
Making sure they throw all their effort and attention at people they don’t even know makes you feel small, and you think, “What can I do to make them like me or pay me this attention?”
It doesn’t seem fair, and that’s because it isn’t. The narcissist knows what they’re doing to you, by the way. They see your smile fade when they ignore you and give a stranger the time of day.
They smile to themselves knowing they’ve found another way to crush your self-worth, and make you feel even less confident about yourself than you were before.
You won’t ever get the narcissist to admit that what they’re doing is wrong, and the moment you try to, it will deflect right back onto you.
You’re so needy.
Why do you always need me to talk to you?
I’m just trying to be polite, is that so foreign to you?
It’s not foreign, but you feel as though you’re being neglected and replaced by a stranger.
In truth: you are.
