Narcissists are known for their pleasure in seeing your world turned upside down. It’s no joke that your misery can set them up for the day in all the right ways…
…But WHY?!
Is it not enough that victims have to tolerate such injustice? Why is the narcissist in their happiest of places as you are suffering like that?
There are reasons, many in fact.
If you feel as though you’re merely surviving in the presence of a narcissist, let me explain exactly why that is…
Is it Even Possible…?!
Oh, narcissists can thrive, as much as it pains me to say it.
They can’t thrive all the while you’re feeling good and everything is working out for you, though.
It’s like having two main characters in one book – it’s just not possible for the narcissist.
They need to take center stage at all times – and the only way that’s possible is if you are going through something big that results in inevitable suffering.
10 Reasons Why Narcissists Thrive When You Suffer
1. They Never Care in the First Place
The main take-home message – and the first of ten – it’s a true, dark fact that any narcissist doesn’t actually care about you at all.
I know you were probably made to feel like they do, but imagine it actually being true.
If it were, do you think they would go out of their way to make you suffer, then love it when you do?
It’s non-equative, isn’t it? So the fact has to be that they don’t care, and not enough people reaffirm this when they’re allowed to do so.
A lot goes into convincing themselves the narcissist cares and loves, and excuses are made.
But they really don’t.
That’s why your misery makes them feel great.
2. They Think It Had Something To Do With Them
The one thing narcissists love is when they feel they had a hand in your misery.
Not only does it make the concept of power and control seem alive and kicking, it also brings to life the idea that you can be bothered by them.
In other words, how the narcissist acts, you react.
Imagine knowing you had that much hold over somebody. Any narcissist would love to know they’ve got that much power because power is what they live for.
3. They Love It When Things Don’t Go Your Way
Life isn’t perfect, and while you know that, narcissists work extremely hard to ensure their life is. When things don’t go your way – when life throws a curveball – they like to watch with wide eyes.
You get frustrated, you have to alter your plans, and you often have to seek out last-minute help or support.
They love it when you hit an obstacle in your road because it unsettles an already unsettled person.
It’s a cheap thrill for the narcissist – but in your chaos, they truly thrive.
4. It Makes Them Feel Better About Their Own Lives
Narcissists really can pretend, can’t they?
Hey look at me, everything’s going great!
I’m loving life!
No they’re not. They have a terrible life. It’s filled with hate, jealousy and the inability to love or care entirely for anybody.
So what better sight than you suffering?!
Suddenly, their own life doesn’t seem so bad. You lose your job, or your rent goes up and you wonder how you will cope.
Truly difficult moments like this are met with a smirk from the narcissist, who immediately feels better about their own horrible lives.
5. They Know You’ll Need Them
The first thing you do when you start to suffer is, of course, turn to the people you love for support. It’s normal, and we all do it.
The problem is turning to the narcissist; the very person you know can’t return anything to you unless it’s further pain or negativity.
But when they know you need them, they can crank up the drama and worsen things for you.
6. Your Happiness Makes Them Miserable
Your worthlessness can only come alive due to their willingness to make it so. If you were to shut them down at the root, the feelings of inadequacy will not reach you.
It happens to too many people, and I get really irate that narcissists do it. It’s like taking away a person’s very essence just because ‘you can.’
No, I’m sorry but that doesn’t make it right at all.
If you are a happy person by nature, you’re going to be seen to have a great deal of supply that the narcissist will steal and never return.
If you’re happy, they’re not. So the only thing left to say or do is actually make you miserable so they can thrive.
Being above you on the happy scale won’t do, so expect them to change that.
7. They Don’t Get Triggered By Jealousy
If you’re suffering, what’s there to be jealous of?!
Narcissists don’t want you out there making things happen for yourself. They can’t stand the thought of you succeeding, reaching your goals or achieving amazing things.
How dare you?!
What they can do in these instances, is take from you what could build to success.
Say goodbye to your confidence. If that’s gone, you’re far less likely to want to take life by the horns.
Jealousy ignites rage in the narcissist that threatens their image. If they don’t have something you do, they won’t get the attention they feel entitled to. They need to be perfect, or their whole image falls to pieces.
If you’re suffering, they remain at the top of their toxic league.
8. It Gives Them A Chance to Shine
All the while you are clinging on in the every darkened days of your own life, the narcissist is shining in theirs.
It’s like your suffering has dimmed your energy, and instead of offering you support or a listening and caring ear, they use the opportunity to be boldly bright.
It’s just another way they learn to take advantage of you, essentially kicking you when you’re down.
9. Your Pain is Their Supply
You have to think of supply as a real fuel to the narcissist. It’s the fuel to their ego that they cannot live without, and everytime you’re unhappy, you hand them even more.
What kind of a world are we living in when pain in one person can be good for another? I always use this as a chance to say that narcissists are incapable of love – just in case you needed that reminder.
