Marriage.
You meet, you fall, you commit.
To you or I, it’s what makes the most sense. It is the ultimate celebration of finding a love that you want to last, and indeed envisage lasting.
It makes sense.
The narcissist wants to marry for other reasons. But not only do they want to marry – they rush at the speed of light.
I’ve got 10 reasons why, right here.
Marriage?
The idea of a narcissist committing to anybody for the rest of their lives seems a strange comprehension for the average, healthy person.
Don’t be fooled.
The narcissist never looks at marriage as something they can’t get out of a later date. It’s certainly not a forever concept to them. If it was, they’d feel trapped and out of control.
Never going to happen!
Instead, marriage is just a way for them to tick certain boxes.
So, while you might be looking for the perfect wedding day suit or dress, the narcissist has other things on their mind.
Should that be painful to you? You know, I’m sure it will be horrible to hear. You want to love and love honestly. You want to find somebody to share your life with, who you trust and respect. You want it all back to you, too.
It’s never going to be like that when you meet and marry a narcissist.
They have other reasons for marrying – especially rushing.
#1 Locking You Down: Not Turning Back
Listen, if a fairytale is what you want, then you’d better get ready for the time of your life.
It will be like the movies. You Know the ones where two people.meet and within a few days they’re telling each other they love them?
It makes sense for a 90 minute movie that wants to grab your attention, but my God, these films are overly celebrated as being romantic.
In fact, what you want to do is yell, “Don’t do it! You don’t even know their last name!”
Locking you down means there’s no going back. You get swept off your feet and you bumble along for the ride because as far as you’re concerned, this is the romance of the century.
In fact – the narcissist wants to get you to themselves as quickly as possible.
#2 The Good Guy to Others
Oh, isn’t it romantic?
They’re so loving.
They can’t wait, I think it’s really sweet.
You can see how head over heels they are.
That’s not true. They are only head over heels for looking good.
If the narcissist can paint the image of being the wholesome, family unit, that’s exactly what they’re going to do.
As sweet as it sounds, it only spells trouble for you in the long term. When you inevitably fall out, the narcissist will point the blame your way.
It’s easier to do that when they look like the angel in all of it.
#3 Wanting You To Be Swept Off Your Feet: The Blind Side
If all you see is being sweet off your feet, you’re failing to see the gaslighting going in behind the scenes.
Essentially what I mean by that is:
If you’re flying quickly from meet to marry, the speed will serve to do nothing else but confuse you.
It is a classic narcissistic move. You haven’t got time to doubt it, or what you’re doing, or even the person you’re marrying.
You’re just having your dream scenario thrown at you, and all you know right now is that you love it.
#4 To Improve Their Status
A married person is an immediate person of good values, morals and faith. They are the picture of a family, and somebody willing to commit, and happy to express that commitment to the world to hear.
None of it is true, of course. It’s designed and carved out to make others believe the narcissist is wholesome and true.
It’s not the case at all, and we all know it.
#5 Control: They Choose The Date
The sooner the better, right? When it suits. When it’s convenient. The date has to be just right for the narcissist.
Make sure all the family is in town. Or slap-bang in the middle of a huge project they’ve got going on at work so the boss can be invited and the narcissist can brag and try to get that promotion.
It’s all about control, but I highly doubt you as the person marrying the narcissist will be able to determine when the big day will be.
Think about everything you do that builds up to a certain date with a narcissist.
There’s always stress, and that overwhelming feeling that you’d just rather not do the thing.
That’s because narcissists like to create stress. If they’re picking the date, they’re choosing what else to fit around the big day.
And guess what?
That makes you not enjoy anything you know you’ve got planned.
#6 To Prove They’re Over Their Ex
Look at me thriving without you!
Narcissists get with somebody new and hold revenge weddings quite regularly.
It’s not going to be obvious to you as you will barely know the narcissist, but it’s a really cheap shot for them to get back at a member of their (not so) past.
Just because they’re putting a ring on your finger, it doesn’t mean they’ve over anybody.
You’ll probably know that, but the rest of the world (as the narcissist wants) will be totally blind to it.
Yet another reason why narcissists love to keep things behind closed doors.
#7 To Publicly Profess Their Love
Everybody, I love this person, therefore I myself can never be labelled a narcissist!
They’re so clever, aren’t they? The way they always somehow manage to keep one step ahead of the game astounds me, and it makes life incredibly difficult for victims everywhere.
This is how a narcissist gets to keep their reputation clean when the eventual break up happens.
If they can just be known as the good guy who knows how to love and respect their spouse, nobody will have them down as an abusive person.
I can’t be a narcissist if I put a ring on it and told the world I love them, can I?
Yes. You absolutely can. Take it from me.
#8 A Place to Live
Desperate times mean desperate measures.
If a narcissist is struggling to find a place to live, or has been threatened with eviction, they’re going to latch onto the first person willing to give them food and shelter.
If that means getting into a relationship fast and proposing or accepting a proposal, then so be it.
And as soon as they move in, you can bet you’re going to play the role of the parent, asking them constantly to clean up or help out.
They won’t, of course. By then, it’ll be too late.
Be careful with any person who wants to rush into living with you. Nine times out of ten, it’s going to end in total disaster.
They will not only take from you the space you’ve earned, but they will be really hard to evict when the shit hits the fan (which it will do).
