If you ever wanted enough reasons why narcissists ruin Christmas on purpose, you have found yourself at the right place, at the right time.
Here, these 9 reasons will piece a lot of your puzzle together, and make you see just how intent narcissists are on creating a darkened cloud over the festivities.
They do go in knowing the chaos and conflict they want to create, and it ruins the day not just for you, but for anybody else affected by them, too.
Let’s discuss why.
#1 To leave you hating the day
Christmas should never be hated, and I do feel sorry for the people out there who find it to be a negative day.
Those who may have lost loved ones, or those who are genuinely lonely will have a hard time on Christmas, but narcissists hate out of spite.
That’s a totally different story, and one that I just cannot find a fragment of my being to feel any sympathy for.
If the narcissist you know ruins Christmas on purpose every year, then you should probably start to think about why you start to also hate the day.
Hate spreads like mold, and the narcissist is the damp that starts it all.
#2 To stop your fun
If you are having a lot of fun, don’t be surprised if the narcissist comes along and says or does something to make it stop so suddenly.
Your fun is a threat to them. It means you are finding things that bring you joy that don’t involve them, and they are not a fan of seeing this in action.
Any narcissist will get very good very quickly at learning how to stop any fun you’re having, namely because they would rather watch you be miserable than see you smile.
#3 To blame you
Blaming you for everything? Well, that’s just like every other day, isn’t it? Narcissists will look for any reason to blame you, and what more of a perfect day than right on Christmas?
Blaming you can be as simple as:
Did you not think to bring the gravy seeing as you brought the turkey?
Did you not remember me telling you about the gift for your grandma on the kitchen side?
No and no, because at home, the narcissist told you to not bother with gravy. And they said they had packed the gift for grandma.
But in front of people, and on purpose, they will turn the blame to you and make you have to explain yourself in front of everybody.
The narcissist will love watching you not point the finger back because you already know their punishment for you doing that will not make it worth it.
#4 Zero attention on them
Christmas is big, and people all over the world go all out to make it unforgettable and bigger than the year prior.
I kind of like that, as long as we don’t get lost in the consumerism of it all.
However…
Narcissists will hate how big Christmas is simply because they aren’t anywhere near as big as it themselves. Oh sure, they can try to be. But who are they kidding?
The attention therefore, can’t possibly lie on one person when the whole point of Christmas is to all be together.
The narcissist will never understand that.
#5 Conflict: because nobody is allowed to be happy
Why should it be that nobody is allowed to be happy on Christmas?
Because the narcissist is never happy, and no amount of fairy lights, champagne or turkey will be able to change that!
This is why they want you to feel miserable, too. Happiness can be felt by us because we let it in, and we aren’t afraid to acknowledge it.
Narcissists won’t let certain emotions pierce through their thin exterior for fear of looking too weak or vulnerable.
So what do they do?
They create conflict – anything that gets people arguing with each other.
In fact, the more arguments, the better. They just want to see people fall out, and you might even be a part of that.
How did it get to the point where I am actually angry?
Because of something the narcissist said or did before they bolted out the room like a horse out of an open barn. That way they can deny the conflict had anything at all to do with them.
#6 They are jealous of the praise you give others
Remember the people you don’t see every day, and how much news may flow out on Christmas when you get together.
A real time for reflection and excitement!
Only as you’re busy over there telling your cousin Sam how proud you are of him setting up his business and earning good money.
The narcissist is scowling at you from across the room wishing you’d pay them even half of what you are dishing out.
Why would anybody be jealous of somebody who is being nice?
Because they want all the glory, all of the time, that’s why. The moment you surrender a little positivity to other people, that is exactly when they will sneer at you for not including them, or giving them some praise.
They need constant praise, otherwise they feel like they will shrivel up into nothing.
#7 Inappropriate gift-giving
The inappropriate gift giving, oh my God. Are you all with me here?
I feel like we all need to highlight how embarrassing narcissists can be, and how clever or funny they think they are with those novelty or useless gifts for others.
When it comes to opening up time, they want another person to be the butt of the joke while they get a slap on the back and told how hilarious they are.
No.
It’s childish and predictable.
#8 Christmas comes with boundaries
Christmas does come with the kind of boundaries the narcissist can do nothing about.
For example, it will always be on the 25th, and people will organize gatherings when they want. It isn’t all about the narcissist, as much as they may try to push and push to get what they want.
In a show of protest, they will try to push any other boundary that they feel they can do something about, and that means you may suffer as a consequence.
#9 Christmas is inconvenient
How inconvenient that work has to come to an end over Christmas, and the excuse of needing to work late simply isn’t there.
Narcissists love to get out of plans at the last minute and letting people down. At Christmas, that just doesn’t work. The age-old excuse of, “Work comes first” just cannot apply if the office is closed!
Christmas can also be inconvenient because it is such a big deal to the narcissist that they control it.
The busy shops, the food needing to be ordered, people visiting and delivering gifts; it drives them crazy that everything feels totally out of their hands.
As people seek to enjoy this time of year, a narcissist will ruin them by being out, or not answering the door on purpose knowing somebody is trying to pop in with a gift.
They know exactly what they’re doing.
