Come on. Are you even remotely surprised that this is even a topic? Narcissists famously hate what you love.
If you speak up and say how wonderful something is, prepare for the roll of eyes and the cutting comments.
It’s no wonder that victims don’t speak up, instead choosing to stay quiet about what they love.
After all, it’s got to lead to a more peaceful life keeping your passions to yourself, away from the sabotaging hands of the narcissist.
Here are 10 reasons why they hate what you love.
#1 They hate everything anyway
I’ll go right in with the most obvious- but not only – answer. Narcissists hate everything anyway.
When you see them fawning over their latest craze, phase or fad, you should know that it’s all for show.
They don’t love anything, because to love is to give something your time and positivity.
Narcissists know nothing about either of those things, as they just think they’re above it all.
#2 They’re jealous
Much jealousy comes from a narcissist’s mind and aura when you are in the throes of doing something that makes you happy.
To see you smiling, enjoying whatever it is in that moment causes the narcissist’s ego to feel genuinely threatened by your natural zest for life.
You aren’t worried about being vulnerable, or expressing yourself, and that is where a narcissist just cannot relate to you at all. So what is their choice?
To envy you. What a shame it has to become so deep, twisted and evil for them, though.
#3 They don’t like expressing a vulnerable side
Everybody has a vulnerable side, but not everybody is keen to show theirs off.
Take the narcissist, for example. They are even more vulnerable than those without a personality disorder, and that’s because what they’ve built as an entire image is totally fake.
They’ve got so much to lose once exposed and discovered by the people around them that it creates this self-loathing paranoid persona within each and every one.
To express a vulnerable side would, in their minds, be to show the world that they’re not perfect, and that there is much weakness in them.
I don’t see a vulnerability as a weakness, more like a core strength; a willingness to be soft and not be ashamed of being so.
I feel sorry for any person who sees that kind of opportunity as one that will let down their guard and make them appear small and insignificant in some way.
When you like something, you let your guard down and show your softer side.
You lean into the love of what you feel when you play your favorite song, or take a walk in the lavender fields in the summer time.
The narcissist scoffs at you for being too wet, pathetic, soft or silly. They take down your passion in one swoop, because they know it will make you feel the things they’re telling you that you are.
It’s unkind and unnecessary, and that’s exactly how they feel about themselves for conveying they like something too much. And which is why you will always see them hating what you like.
Idiots!
#4 They just love to see your reaction
That face you pull when you are neck deep in your element over a painting you just finished, only to have all joy ripped from it the second the narcissist scoffs.
This took five days?
Are you kidding?
What were you doing here, napping?
Why does it look like somebody tried to do it all drunk?
Well, as long as you’re happy with it, that’s all that matters.
I don’t think anybody should expect praise, but if you are doing what you love, the people who love you should feel warm about it.
Instead, narcissists will rip your entire feel-good-factor away from you all because they can, and because you will then hopefully stop being so carefree.
#5 They want you to stop enjoying what you like
If narcissists could say the following, they would:
Stop doing the things you love to do. I hate to see you enjoying yourself when I had absolutely no part in it. It feels like a threat to me, so I would rather you just cut it out.
Makes perfect sense when somebody spells it out to you, doesn’t it? Now, we know they will never be that honest, so it can sometimes take a little working out.
If you stop what you love, you become unhappier. And then your unhappiness can be blamed on you being:
- Mopey
- Boring
- Dull
- A drag on the mood
- Uninspiring
You won’t be able to win.
#6 Their hatred chips away at your spark
The spark you were born with, the spark you had when you met them; it will be chipped away at until there’s nothing left.
Hatred does that, you know. It fuels the false idea that your hobbies, or anything at all you like, sucks.
It seeps in like poison and sets in, and once it does, it’s really hard to get rid of (unless you get rid of the narcissist which, hey, I’m all for!)
When you don’t have a park, you stand next to the narcissist like a dull shard of hopelessness.
Next to them, you look dark and hollow. So they look great, and that’s the most frustrating part of it all, isn’t it?
All victims suffer, while the narcissist thrives.
#7 They want to convince you that you’re a loser
Why should you feel like a loser just because you happen to like doing certain things?
I will tell you why:
Because narcissists wish they were just like you.
They want the passion in life that they aren’t afraid to express, but they will never be able to have it.
They truly want to convince you that you’re a loser in the hope that you will pull back and not be half the person you have the ability and zest to be.
#8 Your attention isn’t on them
If you love a pastime, you aren’t loving the narcissist. If you love to go walking, you aren’t loving doing it with the narcissist.
Now, if you couldn’t go walking without them, that’d be another thing. But because you love to do it regardless, it just proves that you don’t need them in order to have a good time.
Is it starting to make sense yet?
Narcissists want you to be dependent, not fulfilled, and you need to remember that.
#9 Disapproval is their main tool of control
If a narcissist disapproves of whatever you’re doing, know that there’s no fault with that thing you’re doing, but rather them disapproving.
I want you to see and notice that rather than turn the mirror of blame to yourself, because this should never be about you not being allowed to like or love or thrive in what brings you pleasure.
To disapprove is to control heavily what life you lead, and censor what you love so that you filter away from continuing to love it.
Narcissist will do this without a care in the world, so make sure you keep being you, and defy their poison entirely!
