Excuse me. I just need to know…

Why can’t you answer me?

Hello? Is anybody there?

Nobody’s there. Nobody worthy anyway.

You have questions, and I get it. You want and need answers. Narcissists make people feel this way because they hide so much from us.

They leave puzzle pieces purposely missing for you to guess and assume.

These 9 questions forever circle around the minds of people affected by a narcissist, and I want to tell you not only what they are, but why they’re never answered.

Burning Questions….

We all have questions up our sleeve we’re dying for the narcissist to answer.

The problem is, what do we do with those questions because we know the narcissist isn’t going to be honest with us?

Still, each question burns away, without anywhere to go.

Will You Get The Answers?

It depends on the question. Narcissists are capable of being brutally honest, and if you’re prepared to hear what they have to say, you’ll be given that answer in very direct terms. 

The answers to the questions I wanted to raise with you will never be answered, but that doesn’t mean we don’t wish they’d at least try.

Hey, Narcissist! Answer Me These 9 Things!

1. Why Are You Such An Energy Vampire?

Narcissists suck the life out of everybody they encounter. When you feel like you’re having a good day, it’ll be taken from you when you cross a path with one.

They don’t want you to have a good day. Your life to them means nothing, so ruining it is just something they do to pass the time. 

You could wake up and be filled with happiness and hope, and a narcissist will sniff you out and steal it.

It’s why so many victims feel like they have nothing left. The exhaustion can be a sign that you have severely overstayed your welcome in Narcissist City.

Asking a narcissist why they’re such an energy vampire would be an interesting way to understand how and why they operate like they do.

They have no moral compass and no conscience about why they act the way they do, which leaves people like you and me baffled. 

But wouldn’t it be nice to have an explanation?

Come on, we need answers!

2. What Happened To You?

Seriously, what happened to you to make you so cold and evil?

Why did you turn out this way?

Why did nobody save you from the pits of entitlement as a child?

What road did you walk to even get here?

Sitting a narcissist down and digging out their back story would be something that would help all victims. It isn’t justification for their acts of toxicity, but it most certainly helps with understanding. 

Of course somebody so deprived of love would turn out this way.

Of course those with ‘be perfect or else’ parents would end up being a narcissist themselves. 

But wouldn’t it be nice to get a description to go with that face?

3. Why Can’t You Be Happy For People?

I imagine getting any narcissist to answer this honestly is going to be really hard work. Nevertheless, knowing why they can’t be happy for people would be refreshing. 

It would also be very refreshing to smile and say well done without wanting to outdo them somehow. Alas, we do not live in this world.

We all want narcissists to be accountable for their emotions, and jealousy is one of the top emotions I refer to.

Why is it that you can’t clap when somebody else wins?

I can tell you now – the reason is:

Narcissists hate attention being on anybody else other than them. They love to be able to be first, win, be better and show up more successful than anyone else they know. 

4. What Did I Do That Was So Terrible?

This is a more personal question that you might want the narcissist to answer. 

Everything they put you through and how they make you feel.

Why?!

What for?!

Narcissists know you haven’t done anything terrible to receive their abuse. They simply see you as the person who will tolerate it the longest. 

And yes – the abuse itself is appalling. But that doesn’t mean you are.

5. Why Can’t You See What You’re Doing?

Huh?

You want the narcissist to reflect on what they’re doing?

You want them to suddenly give you the awareness that they are perhaps upsetting and hurting others?

You want them to understand that their unkind and sometimes evil words have consequences?

Imagine!

6. Why Can’t You Live in Peace?

Narcissists don’t know the meaning of the word peace. All they know is how to stir up conflict, and ignite drama in situations that were otherwise perfectly fine. 

If a narcissist lived in a peaceful world, they’d last all of five seconds before they got bored. That’s why they have to create a mess and blame you for it!

7. Why Do You Lie All The Time?

Lying gets me off the hook.

Lying excites me.

Lying makes me appear more exciting than I actually am.

Lying gets you into trouble instead of me.

Lying creates conflict.

Lying is fun.

Oh, you won’t hear the narcissist say any of this because they don’t want you knowing that truth.

Oh, how we wish they would. It’d be so much fun to hear!

8. Why Do You Intend On Making People Feel So Terrible?

Narcissists hate it if you feel good, so feeling terrible is each and every one’s aim.

Use this moment as the sole reason never to give too much to narcissistic people. You won’t find honest intentions at the end of it, nor will you find a heart that cares one bit about what you’re saying or confiding with them in. 

People do feel terrible around narcissists. They have this incredible way of extracting feelings of inadequacy and low self-worth in those they are able to get under the skin of. 

As they do that, they feel great because you feel terrible.

9. Why Are Strangers More Important Than Me?

Narcissists want to impress people they don’t know because they see them as clean slates.

They must present themselves perfectly, even if they get just 30 seconds to impress a stranger. They want those 30 seconds to be unforgettable.

What a great parent/partner/boss they are!

How lovely to know that person!

And yes – naturally that’s what they want to have people believe they are. 

You? You know them. You know their personality twists and turns, and you know how they can be evil as well as charming.

If you had 30 seconds with a stranger, you would want to keep a lid on that evil, and set the charm free.

How To Outsmart The Narcissist?

Outsmarting a narcissist might seem like something you would never be able to do.

Think of all those times that toxic person has made you feel small, or even nothing. The idea of outsmarting them won’t come naturally to you, right?

Wrong!

You can absolutely outsmart a narcissist. They won’t see it coming, they won’t see you coming – and it will be a shock to their narcissistic system!

Finding ways to outsmart a narcissist can be fun, and it will put you right back in control of your life.

So, let’s see a show of hands to see who’s with me?

Narcissists: The Truth Behind the Mask

Narcissists! 

You’ve likely encountered them at some point in your life, right? That’s why you’re here!

Narcissists walk into a room and act like they own it, even if they’ve just walked into your kitchen. It’s incredibly frustrating.  

Masters at creating a toxic air of confidence and superiority, narcissists hide behind their mask. Behind it all? Insecurity and neediness!

You know it well, I’m certain!

Narcissists can be charming and persuasive when they want to be. 

They’re also incredibly convincing at it. 

But don’t be fooled. 

Their charm is a well-rehearsed act designed to get what they want, whether from you or from others.

They thrive on control and manipulation, and will do what it takes to continue this weird game of human chess they are experts at. 

Understanding the core of a narcissist is crucial for all of us – especially you. 

Beneath all charm and smiles, they are often fragile. They fear their true selves being exposed – and they do all they can so that doesn’t happen. 

This fragility makes them dangerous, but it also makes it possible to outsmart them. 

Once you know what exactly is lurking behind the mask, you’ll be much better equipped to deal with their toxic tactics.

They Think They’re So Clever!

Narcissists believe they are the smartest person in the world, and nobody else compares even marginally. 

They convince themselves of this, and do their best to convince others too.

They use their quote-on-quote “intelligence” to dominate conversations and situations, which only makes others feel inferior. Is this a familiar story to you? 

It is to so many people, sadly.

The narcissist has a deep sense of superiority, which acts as a double-edged sword. 

Yes, it fuels their confidence and bravado. But also, it makes them vulnerable to being outsmarted. If you think about it, anybody can outsmart them, and it certainly doesn’t take much at all. 

Their arrogance blinds them to their own weaknesses, which can backfire on them!

What does this mean? Well, it means the narcissist can sometimes really underestimate others. 

Good news for you though – as this overconfidence is where you can find your edge.

Dealing with a narcissist requires more than just holding your ground; it’s about understanding their playbook and using their own tactics against them. They think they’re so clever, but with a little knowledge and strategy, you can turn the tables.

You? Really? …

Yes! Really!

You’re here because you’ve had enough of the narcissist’s mind games, right?

Outsmarting them is now a healthy option for you, and you should definitely do all you can to do it.

If the narcissist is your friend, boss, family member or lover – the time has come to regain control and peace of mind. 

You’re so not alone.

Many people struggle with how to handle narcissists effectively. 

The key? 

Outsmart them!

Let’s get to the good bit…

How to Outsmart a Narcissist

#1 Be Firm – Set Your Boundaries!

Narcissists are known to thrive on pushing limits, no matter who they belong to. Oh yes, expect boundaries to be constantly tested. They will look for your weakness and then exploit them, until now, that is!

The first step in outsmarting a narcissist is to get your boundaries as firm and clear as possible. This means being completely transparent about behavior you will accept, and what behavior you won’t.

Don’t stop short at setting boundaries, you have to enforce them too. When that narcissist attempts to walk all over them, you have to calmly and consistently push back. 

Make your language clear – and assertive. No, they won’t like it, but hey, this isn’t about them anymore, is it? The less emotion you apply, the better. After all, narcissists feed off any kind of reaction.

Composure is key, just like consistency. 

#2 “Gray Rock”

The gray rock method is such an empowering tool when dealing with any narcissist. 

The idea of gray rock is to make yourself as uninteresting and unresponsive as possible.

You might think that sounds easy but it does take a little practice to get it just right.

Remember, narcissists crave drama and seeing you act ‘overly-emotional.’ By being boring and unengaging, you deny them that very satisfaction they seek.

Bingo!

When they try to provoke you, be bland. Be the human equivalent of vanilla.

Avoid showing anger, frustration, excitement – any of it. Over time, they are strongly likely to lose interest in trying to manipulate you because you’re not giving them the fuel they need.

You’ve become so boring!

No…. I am just doing my best to outsmart your attitude…

#3 Deflection – Master It!

Narcissists love to put you on the spot – it’s their attempt to make you feel uncomfortable. 

One way to tackle this is to master what I like to call the art of deflection.

Whenever they try to criticize or undermine you, that’s when you redirect the conversation. Ask them a question that shifts the focus back onto them or onto a neutral topic.

I’ll give you an example.

They criticize your decorating work at home (how predictable, right?) 

Now you respond with, “Interesting point. What do you think about the weather lately?” 

It sounds crazy, but it really throws them off and totally stops them in their tracks. 

#4 Information is Preparation!

Ah yes, narcissists will often use misinformation and lies to manipulate everybody else. 

You can outsmart them here by being well-informed and prepared. Do your research, re-check facts, and even have evidence to back it all up. 

Many people I know have been known to write down information or revert to old texts for screenshots to prove their points. 

This will all reduce the narcissist’s ability to use deception against you.

This is all about concrete information – and who can argue with the facts?

#5 Gather Your Support System

It’s not uncommon for narcissists to isolate their victims to assert themselves and gain more control.

You can maintain a strong network of people you love and trust. Seek support from anybody you know who may understand the situation you’re in, and who can provide advice.

Encouragement is also heavily advised here!

Having that crucial support system will help you stay grounded in your reality. When a narcissist is trying their best to get to you, you have people you can rely on to turn to. 

Let’s start unlock that potential!