As if being with them wasn’t painful enough, narcissists will find a way to cause even more of it when they break up with you.
The moment they’ve decided to call it a day, you will be subjected to one final flicker of pain as they depart your life (hopefully for good).
The top 9 most painful ways a narcissist will break up with you are right here, in the hope that you can in some way prepare for your darkest moment before the inevitable dawn – and freedom – that follows.
#1 Full on ghosting
You are their soul mate. They never met anybody like you. They are mesmerized by your mere presence.
And now? Now they’ve disappeared into the world, never to be heard or seen again.
I know. You were told all this time that you were the love of their life. They can’t imagine their life without you.
It was like a switch flicking off, after much time of being constantly on.
You will feel lost and abandoned; desperate to hear from them again. As tempting as it might be to chase them, I urge you not to.
Their silence is all the closure you need to move on and heal. This is all them, and not your fault.
#2 Flaunt a new flame
Right before your eyes, the narcissist will try and show you just how quickly they’re capable of moving on and finding a new supply.
They will of course, paint this new flame as the new love of their life, and shower them with love and affection.
You’ll wonder where all that love for you was, but in reality, it won’t last, much like it didn’t with you.
It’s painful to watch narcissists act this way when they’ve been so cold toward you, but you just have to think about the kinds of games they play, and how you were just a piece to that game, the same as this new person is.
#3 Smearing your name
You won’t like this one either, because it will involve your good name being slung across town like dirt.
None of what the narcissist will tell people is going to be true.
The only thing you need to know is that they are doing it to save their own face, and appear as the victim.
In a world where you can be anything, be strong. Those who truly love and care for you will believe you and stick by you.
Those who believe the narcissist aren’t worth having around anyway, so let them go.
I would advise you there to just continue to be yourself. If you try too hard to be liked, you will end up falling flat on your face as people suspect you to be guilty.
If you also try to prove your innocence, people will wonder what you’re hiding, so just carry on as normal. Knowing the truth in your own heart is as good as convincing others of it.
#4 Threatening you
If you tell people the truth, I will never let you live it down.
If you want a peaceful future, I suggest you walk away from this with your mouth shut.
Threats are never nice, and will invoke even more fear and pain into you than you thought was possible.
The narcissist, even as they walk away and break up with you, still wants to control the narrative, and control your relationship.
Don’t ever make anybody silence you into submission. These people are nothing but bullies.
#5 Accusing you of being a narcissist
I can’t stand this any more.
Do you know how narcissistic you’re being?
Can I not do anything right?
I can’t even open my mouth without you telling me I’m saying something wrong.
Don’t you think the reality is the other way around, yet the narcissist wants all the blame put onto you?
It’s so messed up, but this is the world we live in, where these people will gaslight their victims to the point where they don’t know which way is up, and which way is down.
Of course, you’ll protest your innocence. You aren’t a narcissist. You will ask, “What can I do to prove myself?”, which is precisely what they want to hear.
Let them think about what they like. Consider it your chance to break free and start again without them.
#6 Getting caught cheating
Narcissists have no shame, so if you catch your cheating, they will probably barely blink.
And what?
Can’t I have friends any more?
They won’t see your pain. They won’t notice your despair. They will just see a person who is needy and it will be the perfect excuse to dump you and leave you alone.
I don’t need to spell out the fact that finding your partner with somebody else is gutwrenchingly painful, because if it’s happened to you, you’ll already know that.
I will tell you though, that narcissists will not care about hiding the fact that they’re sneaking around behind your back.
They are that entitled, they will just see it as what they’re owed, rather than the terrible thing they’re doing wrong.
#7 Tell you how bored they are
What a painful way to be told that being with you is boring, but don’t get this messed up.
This is not a fact, this is the narcissist’s warped subjective tactic coming into play.
You are not boring, but that’s the painful parting gift the narcissist wants you to have, and I think that’s very unfair to treat somebody like that.
Don’t let them get under your skin like that. They don’t know anything about what a decent person really is.
If they did, they wouldn’t let you go, and they’d be much better as their own person.
#8 Be so unbothered and just ‘end it’
One day, out of the blue, the narcissist will sigh and say, “Look, I really think it’s best we just go our own way.”
You will stare, wide-eyed.
What is happening right now?
Are you kidding?
Is this some kind of sick prank?
No, sadly, it won’t be.
The narcissist will decide for themselves when it’s time to cut the cord and go, and you won’t have any warning about it.
You’ll look for signs of emotion, but there will be none.
I think that’s where the pain kicks in for victims; when they truly see just how little they meant to the narcissist, and how little the narcissist wanted the relationship, even after all those promises of forever.
#9 Packing up your stuff for when you get home
It’s been a long day at work, and you get home to all your stuff in boxes by the door. You ask what’s going on, and the narcissist says they don’t want this any more.
They tell you not to make a scene, but rather than have to see you try to find all your possessions, the narcissist already has them ready for you to take.
This is tricky, because you don’t actually know what’s been packed, and what they’ve kept until you leave and unpack somewhere else.
By them it will be too late to get them back, which can really hurt victims.
