Ah, mornings. The time we peacefully enter a new day we are gifted with. They should be slow and intentional, and absolutely stress free.
The trouble is, a narcissist doesn’t know the meaning of those words.
There are certain habits they have that expose who they really are. If you’re unsure whether or not you’re living with a narcissist, here are 9 habits that will confirm the truth for you!
#1 They refuse to talk to you
It’s never about you, so why would mornings be any different? As far as the narcissist is concerned, their day starts and ends with them.
But they’re actually lifting the lid on themselves when they get up and refuse to even engage in conversation with you.
You don’t matter, and the narcissist has a whole day to plan. That being said, they want to set you up for your day, and that can look like spending it being worried.
For what? I mean, what’s the point in making you think you’ve done something wrong? It’s simple. It’s so you can call and text all day asking what you did wrong. So anything you had planned will go right out the window.
#2 Their routine is solid
Don’t mess with the routine of a narcissist. They have each thing they need to do planned and built in just so.
If anything goes wrong and they have to step out of that pattern, they will freak out and assume they’ll forget something along the way.
You’re supposed to play a role in that routine by the way.
Whether that’s to provide them with their morning coffee, or ensure their lunch is made to perfection and packed for them to take to work.
If you mess up, you’ve messed up the whole day for them.
Hey, it wouldn’t be the first time you were blamed, would it?
#3 You’re in their way
Why? Don’t you know by now that the narcissist needs their space? You’re getting yourself all caught up in it, and they’re about to rage at you for blocking the start of their day.
I think this is pretty standard behavior of the narcissist, don’t you? I don’t think it needs to be either morning or night, if you’re in their way, you’re in their way.
However, there’s just something about mornings that really grinds their garlic.
The hesitation to snap at you won’t even exist, and instead will be nothing but rudeness hurtling toward you at toxic mph.
#4 Mirror time
Mirror, please tell me how beautiful and successful I am.
Mirror, please reflect back at me a person who is about to have the best day ever.
Mirror, show me a person who has it all, and wants even more.
Mirror time in them awnings are a little bit like a ritual; a process of building up this confidence that otherwise wouldn’t exist.
And narcissists don’t like to look in too much detail. It’s a little bit like those third eye tricks you’d see back in the 90s. Gaze slightly to see what’s there, but don’t look too much.
If they looked deeply enough, they’d start to see that level of self-hatred trying to claw out of their eyes.
Expect to be unable to get to the mirror yourself, and instead watch them primp and preen their face, hair, clothes; whatever it may be.
And I know what might be really happening here. It’s more a case of, “I have to convince myself that I’m a good person before I step out into the world.”
Listen, mirrors are great, but they aren’t magic. There’s no way they can turn a narcissist into a saint.
#5 Time to lift?
Gotta pump those pecs before they’re released into the wild! Hear me out, I get it. I know people work out in the mornings, but on a narcissist scale, this is non-negotiable.
And it’s every single morning together with mirrors and apps and social media updates; everything.
I personally commend anybody who wants to take care of their physical health, but narcissists appear to do this for their audience more than to actually feel healthy.
They want to say they do these things so people are floored at their dedication and how much time they give to themselves in order to get the best version of them out.
#6 Early risers
This isn’t a case of the early bird catches the worm, this is instead so they can safely say:
I’ve been up since 4:30 am and have gotten this or that done already. You haven’t even gotten out of bed.
Makes perfect sense, right? Their early start is so that you can feel ‘not good enough’ before you’ve even opened both eyes.
Talk about unfair!
That’s the way narcissists work, though. Everybody’s hero, and their own fool.
#7 Clothed to perfection
Shirt? Check.
Ironed? Check.
Designer label showing? Check.
More expensive than any other item of clothing you own? Check.
Looking like an Instagram influencer? Check.
And for what? I mean, you’re headed out to the store to pick up some bread and watermelon for breakfast. What’s the point?
The point is the need to be perfect at all times. You can’t expect a narcissist to have an off day, otherwise it will reflect an off personality.
#8 Leaving just in time to catch the neighbor
Ever notice a narcissist pace the floor in front of a window? They’re casually getting to know their neighbor’ routine in the hope most mornings, they will bump into them while leaving for work.
Good morning to you! Another hard day being the breadwinner!
Somebody has to take care of our families, right?
What a great day for success!
Yeah, we get it. You’re so amazing. You’re the best. Thank you for everything you do. How do you find the time to be so modest in your life? (Cue eye roll).
A narcissist loves to show off. If they can drop out of the house alongside a neighbor, it will give them a chance to catch up on any gossip, hear any news they can spread like muck, and keep in the loop.
It also confirms exactly how hardworking and dedicated they are every morning as they head out to earn more money.
#9 Wanting to know everything you’ve got planned
So, where will you be going today?
What plans do you have?
Are you seeing friends for lunch?
Will you be headed to the store?
What needs doing around the house?
I need you to stay in and wait for a package for me.
There’s an errand across the city that I need you to run for me.
At this point, you may as well share a calendar with your narcissistic partner and fill in every detail of your day while they head off to goodness knows where and for goodness knows how long.
Maybe some of you already do this! It wouldn’t surprise me one little bit if you were asked to share your schedule so they can pull it apart or ask you to cancel whatever it is you’ve got planned.
Or as I like to call it; extreme control.
