Narcissists normalize some of the worst behaviors known to man.
They take a part of themselves, and throw it into the world, pretending that it’s okay to be that way.
This couldn’t be further from the truth.
In this world, there needs to be a magnifying glass shone on all the ways narcissists behave that they convince you are normal. That’s where I step in.
Anyone else would run from these 9 insane behaviours.
#1 Inconsistent moods
When moods are so inconsistent that you wake up each morning wondering which version of the narcissist will awaken with you, things aren’t right at all.
From kissing you softly and wishing you a good morning, to yelling at you for snoring all night (when in fact, you weren’t), narcissists offer insane moods that vary, from the very hot, to the extremely cold.
And guess who has to tolerate them? You.
Guess who has to second guess their moods before you even enter the room? You.
Guess who feels like they’re constantly reaping around a ticking time bomb, where things can go from loving to loathing in a spoilt second? YOU.
People who aren’t used to being around somebody so up and down won’t see this kind of behavior as normal, but it’s likely if you’re with a narcissist, you’re used to this kind of pattern.
Being used to something doesn’t make it right, and therefore, these inconsistent moods should never be normalized.
#2 Jealousy
There is a difference between being envious, and being jealous.
Envy is a natural reaction to something somebody else has, or possesses, that you would like for yourself. You use it as inspiration to catapult yourself toward that outcome, meaning envy can be a good thing.
Jealousy is totally different. It is what eats people alive, and causes resentment, anger, and division.
Narcissists are naturally jealous people as they always note what clothes have, but instead of working toward it themselves, feel that egotistical that they want it there and then, without the work.
It isn’t right to normalize this type of behavior, and others wouldn’t tolerate the negativity that comes with being jealous.
#3 Laying guilt down thickly
I wouldn’t act this way if you weren’t so impossible to be around.
I go to work and I come home and the place is a mess.
I work so hard, and for what, you to not appreciate me?
Guilt is laid down thickly with narcissists, in fact, it’s one of their favorite games to play.
As long as their behavior isn’t being held accountable, and they’ve got nobody accosting or accusing them, they’re happy.
This kind of manipulation doesn’t fly under the radar of everybody, and those who see the red flag will run a very long way.
It’s normalized within the dynamic of narcissistic abuse because it’s just another way to control a victim.
#4 Humiliation
Do you have any idea how embarrassed I am to be with you?
My God. I thought you were supposed to be good at your job.
Why do you have to bake so terribly? These biscuits look like bricks.
Then there is the unspoken humiliation. The cheating, the lying, the taking advantage of.
Narcissists humiliate to make their victims look smaller, which in turn they feel makes them look bigger.
It doesn’t to those who won’t tolerate it. The people who run away are the people who don’t want to involve themselves with such petty, childish behavior.
#5 Mockery
The eye roll.
The impression of you.
The insulting.
All with exaggeration.
If you’ve been mocked by a narcissist, you’ll know how demoralizing it feels to be subject to their laughter, especially in front of others.
It can be normal to do a little teasing, if both parties know there is light, love and laughter behind it. Mockery is constant, it’s hard, it’s cold, and it’s cruel.
No relationship should consist of this type of dynamic, and it certainly shouldn’t be a regular occurrence.
Knowing this will teach you that there are certain standards that apply; standards the narcissist doesn’t fit into.
This is where other people will spot the dysfunction and run, and where you should, too.
#6 Criticism
Do you have any idea how annoying you can be?
My God, you really have stopped looking after yourself, haven’t you?
Why do you always put the cutlery back this way? It’s so frustrating.
Nitpicking, at anything and everything. Narcissists look to all aspects of life to make sure they aren’t missing out on anything.
When criticism becomes a part of your daily life, it’s time to rethink who you want in it, and why this person in particular seems hellbent on making your life a misery.
There are people who wouldn’t touch a critical person with a 10ft bargepole. Be one of them.
#7 Wanting to know where you are all the time
It’s creepy to think the narcissist wants to know where you are at all times. They will make it innocent by stating their care and concern over you.
I just want to make sure you get there okay.
I like to know where you are in case of an emergency.
Nope, sorry. Don’t buy it. I don’t want you to buy it, either. This type of behavior might be genuine if you weren’t text or called throughout the day to check your whereabouts, but this isn’t that.
There is a strong element of control behind a narcissist when they want to know your every footstep, so ask yourself, is it worth being in this prison-style relationship, or is there a healthier way to be with somebody?
Plenty think the latter, which is why they would run at this insane, big brother behavior.
#8 When you get sick, they get crazy
The moment you cough, sneeze, or close your eyes due to an incoming headache, the narcissist will treat you like you are the worst person in the world.
There will be tuts, there will be sighs, there will be banging and slamming of cupboards.
They will complain that you aren’t tidying the house, while you tell them you have a fever and can’t move.
Don’t expect a shred of empathy from the narcissist, because it ‘isn’t all about you.’
Instead, expect somebody who grows intolerant of the fact that you aren’t yourself, and picks on you when you are down because it makes them feel better.
Indane? Yes. Anybody else would see this as a major red flag.
#9 Slamming doors, sighing etc
When you think everything is okay and you’re having a lovely night, the narcissist, for the sheer sake of creating conflict, will begin banging and slamming around the house, sighing for no reason at all.
Your heart starts racing, and you wonder what you did so wrong, but in actual fact, it’s nothing.
This is all to keep you on edge, anxious, and playing tight into their toxic game.
It’s not healthy, and those who see it as such would keep their distance to avoid getting involved.
Quite right, too. There is no palace for these people in your life, not one bit.
