Stop everything. The worst – you suspect – is happening. You’ve become aware that the beautiful child you’re raising is beginning to show signs that they’re a future narcissist.
You panic, and almost feel sick with anxiety. But wait! There seems to be an answer.
You still have time. You can stop this from happening with a little awareness blended with action.
But you have to be ready for anything.
So… are you ready? Here are 9 signs you can spot early.
#1 They believe rules don’t apply to them
Rules are rules, they’re kind of a flat fee, aren’t they? It doesn’t matter who you are or where you come from, you’ve got to stick to them.
Narcissists don’t understand that. In fact, they don’t even think of rules as rules at all.
Dancing to the beat of their own narcissistic drum, they will do whatever they want even at a young age.
It really does start that young, and it only gets worse the older that person gets.
If nobody stands in their way, they won’t feel as though anybody is going to stand up to them and correct them.
Stopping this early is the only thing you can do. Reminding them if the rules and reiterating the consequences will put them in the same league as everybody else from as early as possible.
#2 They struggle with responsibility
It really does start from the moment they’re born. If you’re raising a narcissistic kid, they will have the same responsibility issues as an adult.
After all, that’s where it stems from! Letting them off the hook when they’ve done something wrong is one of the ways they will believe they can sidestep responsibility.
No narcissist enjoys knowing ‘something was down to them.’ When that light shines on them, they will do anything and everything to push it onto somebody else.
You’d be surprised at how young of an age this can start, especially if there are siblings involved.
It will always be somebody else’s fault. The only way to put a stop to this is to not excuse them when you know full well they need to hold their hands up and admit to fault.
#3 They constantly have to be the best
Parents have such a responsibility to always make sure their child doesn’t have to be the best at everything.
In fact, celebrating times they don’t as learning curves or just being able to do something for fun is how to approach this otherwise disaster.
Nobody is perfect at everything, and I think that’s the take home message.
You can avoid this.
#4 They mock or dismiss others feelings
Where are they learning this type of behavior? A child shouldn’t be doing this, and if they are, they’ve somehow learned how to do it.
I don’t think that’s right or fair. Whatever actions parents take to increase narcissistic levels in their kids, it takes a lot more work to undo it.
So if your child is mocking or dismissing feelings of another, you’ll have to see that this is stomped out before they get older.
Adults who do this are far more likely to be seen as people to avoid, I mean, kids to a certain extent get away with more because they’re still growing and learning.
That’s why you need to address those issues early on and teach empathy and compassion before you completely raise a narcissist.
#5 They learn that charm
The hideous approach to how narcissist’s utilize charm starts at such a young age.
How quickly the face of somebody so sad or stressed can soften just with a few nice words spoken, or an act that feels almost over the top.
Adults find kids charming as it is, let alone when they learn that charm can get them what they want, or even change outcomes to situations.
It’s a game changer for the future narcissist, but you can stop it by refusing to buy into brief moments where you notice the charm cranks up a notch or two.
It’s learned by kids from narcissists, but if you also model that you don’t react to their charm, that kid will witness charm not working in real time.
#6 They demand special treatment
Stop everything and listen to or look at me!
I want to be allowed to, even if my sibling isn’t.
I demand it!
Stomp, stompedy stomp!
It doesn’t work, and really, it should never work. Kids don’t get special treatment with few exceptions such as being unwell.
If you’re setting one apart from the other, you’re letting that happen, and the more you give, the more they will take.
Soon enough, you’ve got an older person on your hands who makes unrealistic demands for your time and attention and that’s much harder to deal with.
#7 They don’t have remorse after hurting
There’s not a lot worse to see in a kid, is there? They’ve hurt somebody, perhaps another child, and the pain is obvious, maybe even tears.
But the future narcissist? Nope! Not even a slight furrowed brow. Just his calm gaze and almost a shrug of the shoulders as if to say, “So what?”
It’s very worrying, and proves in somebody so young that a lack of empathy strongly lives in them.
It’ll only get worse the more time goes by, and we all know how dangerous that looks in narcissistic adults.
You can prevent this by giving them lots of opportunities to reflect on what happened, and teach them ways to show compassion and kindness.
It’s the one thing that should connect us all, right?
#8 They don’t share or take turns
Now, we all know how bad kids can be at taking turns or not sharing. A lot of this is all down to being a kid, and I get that.
But there needs to be lines drawn, with actions having consequences. If they’re not sharing, they don’t get to play. If they’re not taking turns, they miss out altogether.
Sure, there will be strops, but you can prevent narcissism in the future as much as possible by keeping to this rule and proving that trying to be selfish doesn’t get you the right results.
#9 Boundaries are a huge issue
Walking all over your boundaries is a huge no, no matter how old a person is.
I know it can take a kid a little while to grasp boundaries, but you have to keep applying these rules and remind them whenever you can.
Hey, Eddie said he doesn’t like it when you do that. Please respect that.
I said no, and I’m not going to change my mind.
I would appreciate it if you listened to me instead of trying to push for me to change my mind.
It is a constant thing, but rather than giving in and letting them get their own way, you reiterate from the get go that boundaries are there for a reason. Respect is required in order to not overstep them.
