A break up with a narcissist should signal a happy occasion, but that doesn’t always happen immediately.
There are things only they do after that break up that are just completely weird, that I couldn’t let this one slide.
Instead, I’m giving you those 8 weird things in the hope that when the time comes for you, you’re prepared!
If you were with somebody normal, these things would never happen.
You think it’s going to be a happy time…?
I know breakup can seem like a really happy time to start over, and to put the abusive past behind you.
I get it. You want to step out of the toxic past you were reeled into and heal, maybe even meet somebody new – somebody healthy – some time in the future.
Before it gets to that point, there are a few things you need to know about what’s to come.
The weirdness of the narcissist doesn’t stop just because the two of you are no longer together.
#1 They keep your stuff
First up is the classic narcissistic power move – they keep all your stuff and have no intention of returning it.
In some cases, narcissists will deny any of your stuff is even in their possession.
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They will flat out refuse to meet you and hand over what belongs to you, and will instead keep it all as sickening souvenirs.
They give themselves even more narcissistic points for every item that is sentimental, because they know retaining them will drive you crazy.
If you were with somebody a little more regulated, you’d have no problem having your goods returned to you.
An amicable split followed by the right thing to do, but that isn’t the case for narcissists.
#2 They ghost you
It’s as if the two of you were never even a couple, right? Within days, sometimes hours of breaking up, you will find no trace of that person.
They will have blocked you on all social media, blocked your texts and calls, and left nothing.
You might sit there and think, “Did I just imagine that entire time with them?” No, you didn’t.
But to save face, the narcissist left swiftly, and likely onto their next victim. You don’t matter any more, and that discard will hit hard.
You’d think they’d at least be adult enough to just leave it all as it is so the dust can settle and you can both go your own way…
…But nope. We are dealing with emotionally immature creatures, and that will never change. They think by ghosting you, that you’ll feel hurt. One last injection of it before they take off.
Don’t buy into it, you’re worth more than that.
#3 You find out your name is being spread like mud
It will come as no real shock that your name starts to be spread around like it is muck, right? This is what narcissists love to do to get you back, to punish you one last time before they fully leave.
So the people you know and love will start to look differently at you.
People you’ve been friends with will stop calling or texting, and more and more people will side with the narcissist because they have been feeding them lies.
You will just have to lump it, and try not to overly-defend yourself because that’s when you can look guilty by default.
Let them say what they want to say, you know the truth.
#4 They find somebody new immediately
Narcissists find somebody new immediately because they need somebody new immediately.
It’s not a case of, “I want some time alone to get to know myself and do the things I love.” That would be their worst nightmare.
Where would they get their supply from? Who would be around to manipulate? To control? To criticize? To yell at?
Meeting somebody new needs to happen pretty quickly, before their lives start to fall apart through loneliness. They aren’t as independent as they’d like to have you think!
#5 They stalk you
Stalking kind of goes without saying, I’m sad to say. Narcissists want to still know all about you, everything you’re doing, where you go, who you’re friends with, and if you’ve met anybody new.
They hope to feel as though they’re still in control of you, even from a distance. Not only that, if you do start seeing somebody new, if they’re stalking you, they will try to sabotage it!
You’ve got to block them on absolutely every platform you were once connected on, for your own sanity!
Without it, you’re far more likely to hand them what they want on a plate, albeit accidently.
Narcissists have no right to promote their ego any more than they already have.
#6 They show up where you go
Oh, look at that! The narcissist is turning up at your favorite coffee spot, you know, the one you’ve never seen them at before. Also, hey, they’re at your local grocery store even though they live across the city.
It’s funny how they wind up showing up right where you are, it’s almost as if they’ve memorized your routine and want to give you a piece of them to never forget every time you continue with your life post-breakup.
Could you do without it? That goes without saying. You’re trying to move on, but the narcissist doesn’t want you to forget them.
In fact, they want to try to make it very difficult for you to cut those trauma strings by showing up with a huge smile on their face.
It’s fake.
#7 They keep trying to lure you back
Look what you’re missing out on!
Look what I’m doing with my life!
Look at all the fun places I am going to that you always wanted to go to with me.
Can I tempt you in a meal out, for old time’s sake?
What about coffee? I know you love those blueberry muffins.
I want to take you to that concert. I know how much you love the band. I got VIP seats!
No, no, no!
I don’t care how tempting it is for you. The answer should always be no. Don’t even be slightly tempted because you know what it will mean.
Besides, you’re broken up!
#8 They make any splitting of assets slow and suffering
If you are unlucky enough to share assets with the narcissist, don’t be surprised if they slow everything decision down. Who gets the car? Who gets the vase? Who gets the dogs?
Heaven forbid if you have kids, because they will do all they can to rip them away from you; and slowly.
You suffer as a result, I mean, who wouldn’t? You are so keen to heal and even seeing their name makes you tense up in nervous knots.
Yet here you are, trying to divide your lives up, and you want to do it like a band aid being ripped off your knee.
They prefer the slow and painful approach, just to stick the knife in that little more. It’s almost sadistic, and trust me, you will need all your strength.
