Good people like you often fall for narcissists. It’s no accident, believe me. Narcissists are charming and confident and know exactly how to reel you in.

They make you feel special and all kinds of irreplaceable. Scratch beneath the surface, and you’ll find manipulation hard at work.

So, why do these kind and compassionate people get caught in this toxic web?

There are deeper reasons why good-hearted folk are drawn to narcissists, and I’ve got the top 8 right here.

Drawing You In

I’m not going to blame or guilt you for falling for a narcissist.

Their ability to draw their victims puts the strongest magnets to shame, so I understand that by the time you have fallen, much damage has already been done.

Hope vs. Reality

Everybody enters relationships with hopes and dreams. There is a desired outcome that you want to see appear, but it never does where narcissists are concerned.

The reality is much less attractive.

You Want The Best, Get The Worst

There’s nothing wrong with wanting the best. I think it’s safe to say we all want a loving and healthy relationship.

Narcissists build that up for us, and draw the picture of what you and them could be.

But they never tell you that the picture is an illusion. A fantasy designed always be that little bit out of your reach.

8 Reasons Why Good People Fall For the Narcissist…

So let’s get into why you, the good person, fall for the narcissist and why it’s always never your fault.

#1 The Charmer!

Good people like to see the good in others. Initially, a narcissist’s charm looks innocent enough.

A thoughtful gift, a dozen red roses, the open and willing ways they listen to your problems while secretly taking notes of all the ways you’re vulnerable…

Good people will take it that way if it can appear innocent.

It’s enough for anybody to fall, isn’t it?

Wow, they really know how to listen to me.

I feel I can be myself around them.

They ask me about my past, and want to ensure I am happy.

I love it when they smile at me and make me feel special. I haven’t really felt that way in a long time.

Healthy people want to listen to you, too. They want to take you out and tell you that you’re special.

The difference is, this happens on a smaller scale, over a longer period, and is met with consistency and care.

It’s only time that reveals the error of falling for a complete charmer.

#2 Because You’re So Patient

Taking their behavior and excusing it is commonplace for victims of narcissistic abuse.

You see exactly what’s going on and sweep it under the carpet. Not because you necessarily want to forget about it, but…

…You don’t want the hassle that comes with dragging up issues. You know drama will unfold as the narcissist accuses you of wanting to cause trouble or become angry with you for even raising any issue.

Over time, you learn to keep quiet to keep the peace.

This is a whole different kind of patience that can actually make you feel terrible over time.

You’re a good person. You hate conflict.

#3 Empathy Wins

Falling for the sob stories is a way for the narcissist to allow you to be at their beck and call.

They know you’ll drop everything to be by their side if they need you. You listen to them when emotions run high because you feel like, in some weird way, you’re helping them – and that you’ll be thanked for it.

You’ll never be thanked. Five minutes later, you can still make it to their bad books.

#4 The Highs…The Lows

Save the rollercoaster ride for the theme park, because it’s not meant to exist in relationships.

Falling for somebody shouldn’t mean you never know what kind of day you will have based on their mental or emotional state. I truly mean that – and anybody who falls for a narcissist is going to become accustomed and addicted to the highs and lows quickly.

Those lows are always followed quickly by amazing highs – that keeps good people around. Once you have fallen for them, you’ll be surprised at what you put up with and excuse them as being ‘normal’ to both of you.

There’s nothing normal about extremes.

You should want and crave peace. I know how difficult that is when you leave a toxic relationship because so many people fall into the same trap repeatedly.

Peace can be even louder than the most intense fight – but it is just unfamiliar.

#5 Good People Dislike Conflict

I don’t know anybody who enjoys the push and pull of a narcissistic relationship. If I asked everybody I knew, there would be no show of hands when I ask, “Who here likes their boundaries violated?”

So, how do good people get to the point where conflict is an everyday occurrence?

It’s because the narcissist twists the conflict.

I hate us arguing, you know that. But you get me so frustrated.

I don’t want to fall out with you. It’s just what happens.

I hate drama as much as you do. I just want to talk about things normally.

You believe them because you’re a good person and want to see the best in people.

#6 They Fill Your Emotional Needs

Okay – I know this will sound incredibly backward, but hear me out.

Narcissists do fulfill those needs. They can be some of the best listeners at the time, clinging to your every word and ensuring you are promised the moon and stars.

Then it’s all thrown back in your face but only after you’ve totally fallen for them.

You desire love and validation, and they are happy to give you what you need—but only temporarily.

The good in you lets them in.

#7 The Need To “Fix”

Good-hearted people often want to help or “fix” others. Narcissists play into this by presenting themselves as victims of past relationships, hardships, or misunderstandings, making the empathetic person feel responsible for their emotional healing.

It is not your job to fix anybody, but I know the thrill you get from trying to be so useful.

The more you fix, the more the narcissist accepts. The more they accept, the more you fall.

It’s a pattern you need to get out of.

#8 You See The Best In Them

When you first meet somebody new, you’ll never see all the bad things about them.

Narcissists are some of the most cunning people out there, and they will make sure you see the good they produce for you…

…The good that can never be sustained.

It feels nice when somebody is polite and listens to your words. Finally, you can be seen and appreciated. Your past may not be much to go by, so you like to think you’re starting again with somebody different.

Somebody who values you.

Only narcissists don’t value you. They only value what you have to give them that benefits them.

By the time you realize that you are already in love, and it’s too late to take that back.

What Eventually Happens To Narcissists?

How Does it End For Narcissists?

Narcissists are like a really painful, long book that you have to read to understand. They don’t come with an index or bullet points. If they did, half their toxicity would fall through the cracks.

Sadly, people like you or I must experience them fully before we know each trick.

If I can offer you one fragment of light at the end of this treacherous tunnel – it’s this:

What happens to narcissists is an ending that you’re going to want to hang on for.

Let’s get into it.

“Look At Them!”

It’s enough to make you sick, isn’t it?

They live their merry little lives, seemingly getting away with anything and everything, making you want to scream from the rooftops.

Yes – it’s unfair.

You wish they would just crumble and fall down, so you could finally see them suffer as much as they made you suffer.

You want what happens to them to be detrimental to everything they pretend to be.

Does The Tide Ever Turn?

What do you think? I mean, I want to be able to tell you that they do indeed turn honestly.

I also know and appreciate how it really doesn’t feel that way at the time. Constantly waiting for them to taste their own medicine can feel like waiting for rain in a drought.

But I am here to say that, yes, eventually, that rain will come.

And it will feel amazing.

The Beauty of Karma

I don’t like to meddle with Karma. Instead, I trust that everything will work exactly how it should.

Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose. The circle of life appreciates both good and bad happenings, and I am certain that includes narcissists and how they treat others.

Karma doesn’t need you stepping in and taking over, so if you ever try to gain justice from a situation involving a narcissist, you’re likely to lose.

Rather than that – it’s nothing but a waiting game.

But a game you’ll definitely not want to quit.

How Does It End For Them?

No narcissist has a really happy ending.

Ultimately, they go home alone every day, even if they go home to somebody.

Narcissists always want to be part of something, yet never feel part of anything. It’s all empty. It’s all meaningless. They don’t have layers to them or an ounce of appreciation for their family or friends.

That alone should tell you how it ends for every narcissist.

They’re nothing but lonely people craving some kind of something.

That is something they never end up getting.

#1 The Slipping of the Mask

You may have to wait a while, but the mask of a narcissist will always, I repeat, always slip off.

I know you think it can’t happen soon enough, and many of you will be screaming for it to be today—but it doesn’t work that way.

In fact, the more you try to rush the mask’s slipping, the crazier you will look.

If you want to allow their true selves to unfold naturally, you’ll have to wait for the day.

#2 Inability to Keep Up With Their Lies

We all know that lying can lead to serious trouble. Not only do you have to remember this, but you may also have to build potential lies around it so they make sense.

Narcissists are great at lying, but they can do it so frequently that they fail to recall them all.

When you see a narcissist caught in a lie trap, they will fluff and fumble their way out as best they can with the charm they were born with.

I want to remind you, though – the lies do catch up with them eventually.

Lies catch up with everybody.

#3 One Small Mistake

This is all it takes, believe me. One tiny little slip up to get people talking is all it takes.

I once knew a narcissist professionally who never took any accountability for his mistakes.

He used to cover up all his mistakes, blaming others or deleting evidence that he was responsible.

One day, he was caught in the act. He had no defense, and even though he got really angry and tried to blame somebody else, it was clear he was to blame.

His mistake was leaving his work pass in the room where he shredded all the information he wanted to discard.

It’s all it took for the dominos to all fall down, and for the past to come together like a jigsaw puzzle. People saw what he was like, and nobody trusted him again.

#4 Time Will Tell

You’re all familiar with the saying, ‘Time will heal.’ It helps if you are going through hard times or have lost somebody close to you.

Time also heals your own heart as it allows narcissists to be revealed for who they really are.

As much as it will cause chaos, it will be healing to be validated by the entire event.

It’s how so many victims breathe a sigh of relief and say, “Thank goodness everybody can now see them for who they truly are.”

Time will give you that. You just have to wait for it.

#5 They Won’t Hesitate To Move!

Narcissists are renowned for moving.

To start again, if things get too heated where they live,

Looking for work in a new city or town for a ‘fresh start.’

Usually, when they run everybody else down or play them all in their games, they run out of people.

They run out of supply.

So what do they do?

They run away.

It won’t end there, though. Moving anywhere new only restarts the whole process.

Narcissists, for that reason, never really admit to having somewhere to call home.

#6 New Friends

Of course, moving anywhere means starting up a new friendship circle. People will mingle and meet with everybody, as all new people are considered to be fresh pawns in their game.

Friends end up being enemies before long…

In The End

You can wait and wait, but eventually, the narcissist will get their comeuppance.

In one way or another, whether being found out, having their mask slip, or having to keep bouncing from town to city to stay relevant or liked.

Please allow that to be the justice you need, because it is.

Narcissists will always be miserable. They hate the idea of being stuck or figured out, so they must constantly work out their plan to keep their true selves a secret.

Isn’t that the end you want to hear about?

I know it is for me.

What Happens When Narcissists Realize You Are on to Them?

Okay, I‘m going to warn you right from the very start…

If you are ever onto a narcissist:

They will show you a side of them even YOU would never have dreamed of seeing.

I hope you’re ready for that, because let me just say, things are going to get interesting.

You’ll see it all, but luckily, you cannot unsee anything once you start seeing it.

That mask has been well and truly on for all this time, and suddenly, as it slips, you begin to wake up…

…What happens now?

I’ve got the answers for you, right here.

The Thing to Know About Narcissists…

Narcissists are so far removed from reality that you being onto them alone won’t be enough.

They won’t gather your suspicions and run with them because they’re so in their own head that they will fail to notice.

What really gets the narcissists attention is when you change. People do this after they’ve seen the narcissist’s true colors.

They start to act differently and they also treat the narcissist differently too.

What used to be a people pleaser has turned into a guarded, stronger character, and narcissists hate that.

They cannot stand somebody offering them a different version of themselves they’re used to.

You might present:

In a way that stands your ground. You won’t budge just because the narcissist has demanded you do.
You no longer do what they say. You won’t if they want you to stop talking to that person. It’s not up to them, after all.
Your reality becomes clearer. All the times they have tricked you into confusion are now in the past.
You begin to see the bigger picture opening up before you. All the abuse becomes clear.

When Narcissists Know You See Through Them

Narcissists will know you see through them as soon as you stop giving them what they need.

Remember, they crave everything good in you, but they steal it from you. Once taken, they will never return it, just continue to sap it from you.

Realizing you are not a maple tree, you awaken, and everything changes.

I mean everything.

You’re finally putting yourself in harm’s way no more, and the narcissist becomes frustrated.

The difference now is that they are no longer able to use the usual tricks to get a response from you.

The techniques they once had up their sleeve are going to be deemed useless if the person receiving them has their eyes wide open.

The frustration for them will become very real, very quickly

Caught in the Act: What Now For You?

When a narcissist realizes you’re onto them, it’s as if you’ve caught them in the act. You begin to understand that all the ways they would abuse or belittle you were nothing to do with you.

It was everything to do with them.

What does this mean for you?

It means you get your freedom back. It means you get to pull back the control they’ve taken from you over time.

What could be more liberating than knowing you have released yourself from this painted belief that you’re the problem?

It will be a great time for you to get to the other side of the abuse, and start to piece the puzzle together.

The narcissist won’t enjoy it – but hey – it’s not about them anymore!

How Narcissists Respond to Being Uncovered

Narcissists are initially so frustrated when you blow their cover. Realizing you’ve changed is never going to work for them, because they can’t undo what you’ve learned.

The narcissist will find it impossible to claw back the submissive person who did as they were told, and acted in a way that kept them in control.

Their mind will start to spin out as they watch you:

Figure out their lies
Understand their deceit
Realize the extent they were gaslighted
Watch them closely, making them undoubtedly uncomfortable
Work on making your own self stronger again

Where the narcissist was once able to move people around and play them like a game of chess, the dynamics change completely.

All it takes to break the dynamics is one person figuring them out. It’s like pulling one card from a house of cards, and seeing it all fall down.

You are that card, and you have pulled yourself out of the equation.

Now comes the consequences.

How Narcissists Handle Being Found Out

It’s natural for a narcissist to feel on guard when they’re found out. They notice and sense the change, and they are now wondering how to make it all ‘normal’ for them again.

How they handle you finding out is quite interesting.

Anger

The narcissist is angry that now you are unreachable. You’ve checked out, and you’re nothing but disengaged to their tactics.

It’s like you were once a fire that has now burned out. No matter how many times they poke you, you’re not going to start up again.

This enrages them.

Denial

If you were to start speaking up about what you realize, you’d probably have a little fun watching them deny any wrongdoing and potentially even turn it around on you.

Narcissists deny through sheer panic. They don’t want to be found out, and they don’t want you to ruin the perfect image they’ve spent years building.

Narcissists deny when they have nowhere else to go. If you are showing them a version of themselves that’s far from ideal – they don’t want to see it. Even if it’s true, they don’t want to face seeing the ‘real’ them.

That’s the person they can’t stand.

Discard

So … Here it comes ….

The discard. You’re no good to them anymore. They don’t want you around. You’re useless.

Your supply has dried up. You know the real them. They can’t fool or trick you into believing their lies.

Your yesterday’s news, so any relationship is going to now be no relationship.

Once they’re through with you, the next aim is to find the next ‘you.’

Revenge

Sometimes, yes, the narcissist sees you as somebody who needs a little calculated revenge thrown their way.

For all the times you have rattled their cage and questioned their games – you now get the treatment.

The smear campaign.

It is not above the narcissist’s station to tell people what a troublemaker you are. How good you are at lying and the untrue rumors you spread about them.

The narcissist will be believed because they’re so good and manipulating situations in their favor.

8 Ways Your Kind Heart Makes You a Perfect Target for Narcissists