Have you had enough of being treated like something the narcissist stepped in?
You aren’t alone.
Many victims of narcissistic abuse get to the point where they’ve reached their limit, and they no longer want to preserve the narcissist’s well-being by sacrificing their own.
If you want to take that crucial yet empowering step, I urge you to think about these 8 ways to ruin their life without even trying.
It’s not that you want to be purposefully cruel – you just don’t want to lay your life on the line for them anymore.
I get it.
It Seems Counterproductive…
For you, there will be the ever-contradicting inner message of, “But surely ruining the narcissist’s life will make me just as bad as the narcissist?!”
It’s a fair thought, and I will return with a big but…
…BUT… Think about what they’ve put you through. You went into this friend/relationship the honest person, and they came into your life the liar, the cheat, the toxic.
It was your life they’ve tried to ruin all this time, so with these 8 ways to do the same – you get to have a little bit of you back.
I’d say that was worthwhile.
Ruin The Narcissist’s Life With Little Effort
#1 Stay Happy
If I could take one of these 8 ways to ensure you do, it’d be this one.
Your happiness is their pain. They are only happy when they’re in charge, and successfully making you miserable.
Now I know that being happy takes a lot of effort. It’s about rising above all the abuse you’re being thrown at, and that’s not going to be easy.
Happiness can come from continuing to consciously believe in yourself and fight for your identity daily.
The moment you lose that is when you will struggle.
#2 Reply – When it Suits You
Leave them hanging? Okay!
One of the worst ways you can give yourself away completely to the narcissist to the detriment of you, is by dropping everything for them.
Reply when you can, but don’t let the world stop just because you got a text or a call.
Ideally, you want to be in a place where you can speak when it suits you, not them. If that means they have to wait, then you will definitely ruin their day!
#3 Say No – and Stick To It
Don’t be swayed or pulled to say yes when you actually don’t want to do the thing you’re saying yes to.
If you don’t want to, say no. This shouldn’t be up for debate- no is a complete sentence, after all. It’s how you become accustomed to saying yes that the narcissist becomes accustomed to always getting their own way.
Show them that you can make informed choices – drive them mad!
#4 Cut Them Off
When the worst is presented to you, the most drastic actions must be taken.
People cut off the narcissist in their life every day, but always for good reason.
You want to start again, you want the abuse to stop, you don’t want to have to see or speak to them again, and your life would have the color back if they left it.
So, the choice would be to cut them off.
It’ll drive them crazy and totally ruin their lives because they’ve grown used to a certain dynamic and worked hard to maintain it.
Tough, right?!
#5 Refuse To Believe Them
We know they lie, and all too often we just go along with it to either keep the peace, or give in to their delusions.
Now is the time to start ruining their lives by refusing to believe a word that comes out of their mouths.
The moment you begin to do this you can start to feel the addiction and desire to do it more!
Stop believing the good and the bad – because their excuse for being late home is just as much of a lie as when they tell you they love you.
#6 Take The Sacrifice For Your Sanity
A previous client of mine, I will call her Annabel, cut off her narcissistic father several years ago.
As punishment for this ‘terrible act,’ her older brother (Golden Child) told her that she was banned from seeing his son (her nephew) to—and I quote—‘see how it feels.’
It was a move meant to get back at Annabel, a bullying tactic derived from her anger that she could do such a thing to her own father.
Annabel was courageous in her choice, which didn’t come lightly to her. She did not back down nor apologize for her decision, and hasn’t seen her nephew for over 5 years now.
Was it a sacrifice? Yes. Did it make her upset? Absolutely.
But there was no way she was going to accept a child being used as a weapon in her toxic family’s dynamics. If anything, it only added weight to why she did it in the first place.
She thinks her brother is secretly jealous that she had the bravery to do something he could never do, and that made her feel pretty good about her.
#7 Call Them Out
To their face!
You are such a narcissist, do you know that?
Watch the color either drain from their face in pure shock, or fill it up with rage!
Telling a narcissist that they are as toxic as they are is going to change everything. Now what will they do? Who will they abuse? How will they get their supply?
#8 Tell People Who They Really Are
This is a tricky one, because I’m sure it’s not all good to do this, but, if you are at the end of your tether and you want to feel like your truth will help taint their reputation – it’s a way to ruin their lives.
This is because statistically, there will be a number of people who believe you.
On the flip side, there will be people who also will. For that reason, you don’t have anything to lose.
All you need is one person to truly be on your side for your feelings to be validated.
When I speak to previous victims of narcissistic abuse, some tell me that they see people who stop them in the street and say how much they hate the narcissist in question.
It can truly be one of the most humbling experiences, and you know for sure that you weren’t imagining any of the abuse.
You have to be careful of speaking of things that aren’t true. As long as you keep to facts, you can allow others to make their own minds up about what they hear.
What a way to ruin a narcissist’s life, and hey, you didn’t even try!
