Have you had enough of being treated like something the narcissist stepped in?

You aren’t alone. 

Many victims of narcissistic abuse get to the point where they’ve reached their limit, and they no longer want to preserve the narcissist’s well-being by sacrificing their own.

If you want to take that crucial yet empowering step, I urge you to think about these 8 ways to ruin their life without even trying.

It’s not that you want to be purposefully cruel – you just don’t want to lay your life on the line for them anymore.

I get it.

It Seems Counterproductive…

For you, there will be the ever-contradicting inner message of, “But surely ruining the narcissist’s life will make me just as bad as the narcissist?!”

It’s a fair thought, and I will return with a big but…

…BUT… Think about what they’ve put you through. You went into this friend/relationship the honest person, and they came into your life the liar, the cheat, the toxic.

It was your life they’ve tried to ruin all this time, so with these 8 ways to do the same – you get to have a little bit of you back. 

I’d say that was worthwhile.

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Ruin The Narcissist’s Life With Little Effort

#1 Stay Happy

If I could take one of these 8 ways to ensure you do, it’d be this one.

Your happiness is their pain. They are only happy when they’re in charge, and successfully making you miserable. 

Now I know that being happy takes a lot of effort. It’s about rising above all the abuse you’re being thrown at, and that’s not going to be easy. 

Happiness can come from continuing to consciously believe in yourself and fight for your identity daily.

The moment you lose that is when you will struggle.

#2 Reply – When it Suits You

Leave them hanging? Okay!

One of the worst ways you can give yourself away completely to the narcissist to the detriment of you, is by dropping everything for them.

Reply when you can, but don’t let the world stop just because you got a text or a call.

Ideally, you want to be in a place where you can speak when it suits you, not them. If that means they have to wait, then you will definitely ruin their day!

#3 Say No – and Stick To It

Don’t be swayed or pulled to say yes when you actually don’t want to do the thing you’re saying yes to. 

If you don’t want to, say no. This shouldn’t be up for debate- no is a complete sentence, after all. It’s how you become accustomed to saying yes that the narcissist becomes accustomed to always getting their own way.

Show them that you can make informed choices – drive them mad!

#4 Cut Them Off

When the worst is presented to you, the most drastic actions must be taken.

People cut off the narcissist in their life every day, but always for good reason.

You want to start again, you want the abuse to stop, you don’t want to have to see or speak to them again, and your life would have the color back if they left it.

So, the choice would be to cut them off.

It’ll drive them crazy and totally ruin their lives because they’ve grown used to a certain dynamic and worked hard to maintain it.

Tough, right?!

#5 Refuse To Believe Them

We know they lie, and all too often we just go along with it to either keep the peace, or give in to their delusions.

Now is the time to start ruining their lives by refusing to believe a word that comes out of their mouths.

The moment you begin to do this you can start to feel the addiction and desire to do it more!

Stop believing the good and the bad – because their excuse for being late home is just as much of a lie as when they tell you they love you.

#6 Take The Sacrifice For Your Sanity

A previous client of mine, I will call her Annabel, cut off her narcissistic father several years ago.

As punishment for this ‘terrible act,’ her older brother (Golden Child) told her that she was banned from seeing his son (her nephew) to—and I quote—‘see how it feels.’ 

It was a move meant to get back at Annabel, a bullying tactic derived from her anger that she could do such a thing to her own father. 

Annabel was courageous in her choice, which didn’t come lightly to her. She did not back down nor apologize for her decision, and hasn’t seen her nephew for over 5 years now. 

Was it a sacrifice? Yes. Did it make her upset? Absolutely.

But there was no way she was going to accept a child being used as a weapon in her toxic family’s dynamics. If anything, it only added weight to why she did it in the first place.

She thinks her brother is secretly jealous that she had the bravery to do something he could never do, and that made her feel pretty good about her.

#7 Call Them Out

To their face!

You are such a narcissist, do you know that?

Watch the color either drain from their face in pure shock, or fill it up with rage!

Telling a narcissist that they are as toxic as they are is going to change everything. Now what will they do? Who will they abuse? How will they get their supply?

#8 Tell People Who They Really Are

This is a tricky one, because I’m sure it’s not all good to do this, but, if you are at the end of your tether and you want to feel like your truth will help taint their reputation – it’s a way to ruin their lives.

This is because statistically, there will be a number of people who believe you.

On the flip side, there will be people who also will. For that reason, you don’t have anything to lose.

All you need is one person to truly be on your side for your feelings to be validated. 

When I speak to previous victims of narcissistic abuse, some tell me that they see people who stop them in the street and say how much they hate the narcissist in question.

It can truly be one of the most humbling experiences, and you know for sure that you weren’t imagining any of the abuse. 

You have to be careful of speaking of things that aren’t true. As long as you keep to facts, you can allow others to make their own minds up about what they hear.

What a way to ruin a narcissist’s life, and hey, you didn’t even try!

How To Outsmart The Narcissist?

Outsmarting a narcissist might seem like something you would never be able to do.

Think of all those times that toxic person has made you feel small, or even nothing. The idea of outsmarting them won’t come naturally to you, right?

Wrong!

You can absolutely outsmart a narcissist. They won’t see it coming, they won’t see you coming – and it will be a shock to their narcissistic system!

Finding ways to outsmart a narcissist can be fun, and it will put you right back in control of your life.

So, let’s see a show of hands to see who’s with me?

Narcissists: The Truth Behind the Mask

Narcissists! 

You’ve likely encountered them at some point in your life, right? That’s why you’re here!

Narcissists walk into a room and act like they own it, even if they’ve just walked into your kitchen. It’s incredibly frustrating.  

Masters at creating a toxic air of confidence and superiority, narcissists hide behind their mask. Behind it all? Insecurity and neediness!

You know it well, I’m certain!

Narcissists can be charming and persuasive when they want to be. 

They’re also incredibly convincing at it. 

But don’t be fooled. 

Their charm is a well-rehearsed act designed to get what they want, whether from you or from others.

They thrive on control and manipulation, and will do what it takes to continue this weird game of human chess they are experts at. 

Understanding the core of a narcissist is crucial for all of us – especially you. 

Beneath all charm and smiles, they are often fragile. They fear their true selves being exposed – and they do all they can so that doesn’t happen. 

This fragility makes them dangerous, but it also makes it possible to outsmart them. 

Once you know what exactly is lurking behind the mask, you’ll be much better equipped to deal with their toxic tactics.

They Think They’re So Clever!

Narcissists believe they are the smartest person in the world, and nobody else compares even marginally. 

They convince themselves of this, and do their best to convince others too.

They use their quote-on-quote “intelligence” to dominate conversations and situations, which only makes others feel inferior. Is this a familiar story to you? 

It is to so many people, sadly.

The narcissist has a deep sense of superiority, which acts as a double-edged sword. 

Yes, it fuels their confidence and bravado. But also, it makes them vulnerable to being outsmarted. If you think about it, anybody can outsmart them, and it certainly doesn’t take much at all. 

Their arrogance blinds them to their own weaknesses, which can backfire on them!

What does this mean? Well, it means the narcissist can sometimes really underestimate others. 

Good news for you though – as this overconfidence is where you can find your edge.

Dealing with a narcissist requires more than just holding your ground; it’s about understanding their playbook and using their own tactics against them. They think they’re so clever, but with a little knowledge and strategy, you can turn the tables.

You? Really? …

Yes! Really!

You’re here because you’ve had enough of the narcissist’s mind games, right?

Outsmarting them is now a healthy option for you, and you should definitely do all you can to do it.

If the narcissist is your friend, boss, family member or lover – the time has come to regain control and peace of mind. 

You’re so not alone.

Many people struggle with how to handle narcissists effectively. 

The key? 

Outsmart them!

Let’s get to the good bit…

How to Outsmart a Narcissist

#1 Be Firm – Set Your Boundaries!

Narcissists are known to thrive on pushing limits, no matter who they belong to. Oh yes, expect boundaries to be constantly tested. They will look for your weakness and then exploit them, until now, that is!

The first step in outsmarting a narcissist is to get your boundaries as firm and clear as possible. This means being completely transparent about behavior you will accept, and what behavior you won’t.

Don’t stop short at setting boundaries, you have to enforce them too. When that narcissist attempts to walk all over them, you have to calmly and consistently push back. 

Make your language clear – and assertive. No, they won’t like it, but hey, this isn’t about them anymore, is it? The less emotion you apply, the better. After all, narcissists feed off any kind of reaction.

Composure is key, just like consistency. 

#2 “Gray Rock”

The gray rock method is such an empowering tool when dealing with any narcissist. 

The idea of gray rock is to make yourself as uninteresting and unresponsive as possible.

You might think that sounds easy but it does take a little practice to get it just right.

Remember, narcissists crave drama and seeing you act ‘overly-emotional.’ By being boring and unengaging, you deny them that very satisfaction they seek.

Bingo!

When they try to provoke you, be bland. Be the human equivalent of vanilla.

Avoid showing anger, frustration, excitement – any of it. Over time, they are strongly likely to lose interest in trying to manipulate you because you’re not giving them the fuel they need.

You’ve become so boring!

No…. I am just doing my best to outsmart your attitude…

#3 Deflection – Master It!

Narcissists love to put you on the spot – it’s their attempt to make you feel uncomfortable. 

One way to tackle this is to master what I like to call the art of deflection.

Whenever they try to criticize or undermine you, that’s when you redirect the conversation. Ask them a question that shifts the focus back onto them or onto a neutral topic.

I’ll give you an example.

They criticize your decorating work at home (how predictable, right?) 

Now you respond with, “Interesting point. What do you think about the weather lately?” 

It sounds crazy, but it really throws them off and totally stops them in their tracks. 

#4 Information is Preparation!

Ah yes, narcissists will often use misinformation and lies to manipulate everybody else. 

You can outsmart them here by being well-informed and prepared. Do your research, re-check facts, and even have evidence to back it all up. 

Many people I know have been known to write down information or revert to old texts for screenshots to prove their points. 

This will all reduce the narcissist’s ability to use deception against you.

This is all about concrete information – and who can argue with the facts?

#5 Gather Your Support System

It’s not uncommon for narcissists to isolate their victims to assert themselves and gain more control.

You can maintain a strong network of people you love and trust. Seek support from anybody you know who may understand the situation you’re in, and who can provide advice.

Encouragement is also heavily advised here!

Having that crucial support system will help you stay grounded in your reality. When a narcissist is trying their best to get to you, you have people you can rely on to turn to. 

Let’s start unlock that potential!