Are you thinking about confronting a narcissist about how they treat you? 

You’re going to need to buckle up. 

I’ve done it, and let me tell you, their reactions were wild and so dramatic.

You see, narcissists don’t take criticism well, and when you shine a light on their behavior, things can get messy very quickly. 

I want to reveal the 8 ways they typically respond when you call them out. 

I get it. Being tired of being mistreated will lead you to the point where you can’t take any more, and you have to speak up.

You’re in the right place.

#1 “Wait, I hurt you?!”

And here it comes, like a toxic tornado of words! The narcissist is holding up a mirror to point to you as soon as you even get close to telling them what you think of their treatment of you. 

You want to say, “You’ve got some nerve!”, but before you can open your mouth, they’re saying it to you.

I hurt your feelings? Are you kidding me?

Do you even realize how much pain you cause me?

What about that time you ….

I can’t believe you’re being this cruel to me

I’ve done nothing to deserve this

It can go on and on, and they will find all kinds of words and excuses to make you even wind up saying that YOU are sorry for how you treat them. 

So yeah, I totally get it when you think of the nerve they have.

This is one of the worst ways to try to make yourself look like an innocent party.

#2 “You don’t know what you’re talking about”

Yep, this is a case of here we go again. The narcissist wants to lump the fact that they think you’re somehow incapable of being able to know right from wrong.

You’ve tolerated their behavior for a long time, and you’re at the point where something has to give. 

You have the courage to use your voice in the hope it’ll be met with a chance for connection and communication, but no.

They really don’t make it easy, do they?

So now, you are treated like you are confused. Like you somehow imagined all the crap they have thrown at you.

Like your head is so messed up that you can’t even think straight. 

Well guess what? You can!

Don’t let them use this as an excuse to gaslight you.

#3 “You’ve got some imagination there”

As if you’d sit down and pen a story that frames the love of your life as a narcissist…

It’s definitely ‘eye roll time!’

Your imagination exists, but it has nothing to do with what they’re putting you through.

In fact, the narcissist is trying yet again to worm their way out of your confrontation by assuming you are literally hallucinating. 

The ridiculous part about this is that because they will have had a history of convincing you that you’re seeing what isn’t there, you will probably believe every word they say.

You might apologize, or tell them that they’re right. You’ll then sit back while they continue their abuse and you won’t want to raise it again through fear of this statement reprising. 

You know the truth.

#4 “If I am treating you so badly, why don’t you just leave?”

This old chestnut is golden and typical of narcissists, but I assure you, it’s totally toxic.

What planet is anybody on when they think the only way to get out of ill treatment of you is to say “leave” rather than, “Oh, snap. I need to change.”

If they’re treating you badly, yes, please leave.

But don’t see the alternative as staying and continuing to be abused, because for them, only giving you those two options should go a long way to prove they do not love or care about you at all. 

I know it’s hard to hear, but you have to understand how hearing the truth will help you find your way to a stronger version of you that does not tolerate abuse in any format. 

#5 “I really don’t think I’ve been treating you any differently to usual”

Well, at least they’re being honest for once. 

For them, it’s business as normal. They don’t see an issue with how they treat you, and neither should you.

On the flip side, yeah, this is the usual way you’re treated, and that is like total shit. So at least we are seeing some truths creep through the cracks. 

It takes a lot to confront a narcissist. It takes courage and the realization that you deserve better.

When you are shot down in response to your confrontation, it can leave a very flat feeling inside. 

Don’t let that detract you from what’s really going on here. You’re being gaslighted with this comment, and made to think that actually, nothing out of the ordinary is happening. 

In truth, they’re right. But that ‘nothing out of the ordinary’ is terrible treatment, and just because ‘terrible’ is familiar, doesn’t mean you should be putting up with it. 

#6 “I don’t know what to tell you”

Right, well, that figures, doesn’t it? The narcissist doesn’t know what to tell you.

You’ve cornered them and they’re uncomfortable and they have no idea how to prize themselves out of the trouble they’ve landed themselves in. 

That doesn’t help you, the person who wants a conversation about something that’s pretty serious.

For a while you’ve had these suspicions that they’ve been toxic, and you’re finally having it out with them.

You caught them off guard, and they don’t know what words to use to dig their way out. 

The power of being able to stand up for yourself, right? You’ve done it, and look at them, shrinking in the light you are giving off. 

That didn’t take long!

#7 “Stop being so emotional”

A message to the narcissist:

Stop being so disrespectful!

They’re just jealous because you are capable and able to display your emotions honestly and vividly, which is something they seriously lack.

Your emotions are always valid, and certainly in this instance. You’ve got every right to let them know how you feel, and even how it’s affected you. 

For them, they’ve only got their own judgment of how you present to go by, which is what they cling to. 

And that, my friends, is what we can all call truly pathetic.

#8 “What problem page have you been reading today?”

What a way to patronize the life out of you? You’ve gone to the trouble of confronting them about their toxic and abusive behavior, and all they can do is wink and smile at you, like you’ve been reading too much junk.

This is real life. You don’t need to read any problem page to know that huge aspects of your relationship are out of alignment.

You can fight for the freedom of knowing the truth, or you can continue to put up with much less than you deserve.

Don’t let any narcissist make you feel like you’re cluelessly wading to the assumption that they’re treating you terribly. Their criticism and ridicule is covering a whole heap of fear they don’t want you to see.

What Do Narcissists Fear the Most?

The 20 Biggest Fears Of Narcissists

They don’t look like they fear anything, do they?

Narcissists really do walk around acting as if they are perfect. If you were to ask them what they’re scared of, they’d laugh in your face and tell you to move out of their way.

Well, I’m here to tell you the truth.

Narcissists are petrified of more than you have ever known…

…Until now.

Here, I unlock the 20 biggest fears of narcissists, so you don’t need to embarrass them by asking them what they’re scared of ever again.

When The Narcissist Can’t Sleep At Night

Tick, tock, tick, tock,

3am?!

What’s keeping the narcissist up at night?

It’s likely to be thinking about their fears, as believe it or not, they cross their minds from time to time. 

Those fears remain buried under the guise of the charmer – the person everybody sees when they initially speak to the narcissist. 

Well, I’ve got my shovel, and I am about to dig each fear up.

#1 It’s Expose Time! 

Imagine the look of terror on the narcissist’s face when you expose them. It’ll be brief, sure. If you blink, you miss it.

Because soon enough – that fear will convert into rage – an emotion you’re probably much more familiar with when you think about the narcissist in your life. 

Before that rage, that fear will be evident. The idea of you telling everybody the true character of the narcissist fills them with an impalpable dread. 

It all starts to crumble.

They’ve nowhere to hide, and they cannot fool everybody anymore. At least some people will believe you, and that’s all you’d need to expose them fully. 

So yes – it keeps the narcissist up at night to think you could do such a thing, knowing as soon you do so, their power diminishes. 

#2 Control: Officially Lost

Get ready for the narcissist’s foundation to shake, rattle and roll.

Losing control is last on their list of ideals, but it’s a stark possibility when the victim turns to victor.

Seeing through the narcissism to a person who, underneath it all, is just a small-minded, afraid nobody, makes them more worried than you could imagine. 

If that control goes – what do they have?!

#3 The Truth is Feared

What is the truth?

We all know, don’t we?

We’re dealing with a person, or several people if you’re really unlucky, who aren’t who they say they are.

There is a truth behind the lies, and behind that is the ongoing fear from the narcissist that their lies will be exposed. 

Believe me when I say that the narcissist will do what it takes to silence their victims, but that doesn’t mean the truth will never prevail.

#4 The Ordinary 

Ordinary means what to you? For me, it’s just an average day, with nothing standing out. No one big moment.

Narcissists hate not standing out. They always want to be the center of attention, and if they’re seen as normal, or ordinary, that will be the biggest threat – and fear – to their grandiose personality. 

#5 Being Alone

Imagine having nobody to manipulate. When they need to suck the life out of another – there’s not a soul available. 

Narcissists need people around not just to do this with, but also, those people are needed to influence. 

The absence of others is the absence of validation and supply, and without a push from others for attention, the narcissist won’t fully know how to function.

They fear being alone for that very reason.

#6 Bye Bye, Attention

Invisibility is the true enemy of the narcissist. They need to be the honey, while the bees buzz around them constantly.

Without that noise, there is silence.

And in silence, there will be zero attention.

#7 Others… Happy… Really?

No single soul on the planet has the right to be happy (according to the narcissist). If you’re so happy, what could you possibly be so happy about? 

How dare you!

Your smile is enough to have it wiped right off your face, and the narcissist is going to love doing so.

Passing judgment. Criticizing you. Bringing you down. Triggering you. Disappointing you. Giving you the silent treatment and yelling at you. Whatever it takes. Why? 

Simple! They fear that your happiness will create this brand new version of you that will tolerate the narcissist just that little bit less. 

#8 How Victims Self-Love

Listen, if you’re loving yourself, then you are loving the narcissist less. It’s great for you – and that’s exactly why it isn’t good for them. 

The fear that comes from you loving yourself is that you will decide you’re too good for them – and leave. 

#9 Financial Independence

You’ve got your money sorted, you earn a large buck or two, and there’s nothing they can do about it.

Seeing you take care of your finances so well, there’s little to no chance of them taking it all away from you – leaving you dependent on them. 

Big fear!

#10 “So What?”

Ah, so you’re indifferent, are you?

That’s a big ache in the gut for the narcissist, who thrives on your reactions. If you don’t have any ones to give, consider yourself immune to the narcissist…

…New narcissist fear unlocked!

#11 Brave Enough To Be Accountable

Accountability is a huge fear of the narcissist, who usually ensures that what they’re doing will never be found out.

They don’t want to own up to any wrongdoing – so you can safely tick this as a huge fear of theirs. 

#12 Losing to Legality

If you want to really send shivers down the narcissist’s spine – threaten them with legal action.

It’s the epitome of doing wrong for all to see as well – which only adds to their nightmare!

#13 New Victims: Gone

Just when they thought they had a good victim in you – you up and leave.

Their plans turn to dust, and they become vulnerable all over again, with no supply!

#14 Strong? Good!

Your strength kills narcissists. It acts as such a strong repellent that you would be hard pushed to see any narcissist stick around.

They’re scared of you! What narcissist wants to admit that they’re scared of somebody?!

#15 Being Alone

You can forgive babies for not wanting to be alone – but grown adults? This isn’t about normal loneliness that can really affect people – this is the fear of having no life to suck out of anybody. 

#16 Mirror Mirror On The Wall

Don’t look into it if you’re a narcissist, because we all know – including you – that you are not the fairest of them all!

The biggest fear of a narcissist is doing so, and seeing that ugliness stare back at them. 

#17 “No Thanks, Bye”

Rejection.

Ouch.

A narcissist experienced enough of this as a child, and it is a huge trigger for them; a reminder that they aren’t good enough for somebody. 

#18 Criticism

What do you mean they aren’t perfect?

You cannot tell a narcissist that they have faults! That’s their job to make you feel shitty – not the other way around!

#19 Partners In The Know

Knowing who the narcissist really is means the power shifts from them, to you. 

What does that mean for you? Well, you’re likely to be a person who wants to do bad with their power, but it does mean you no longer get played by them.

They fear this – they fear you having an education in narcissism. You have the power to expose and all them out.

A powerless narcissist is not a happy narcissist. 

#20 Getting Over: Moving On

If you’ve gotten over a narcissist and moved on – you’ve done what they thought you’d never do.

Always expecting you to be around to use and abuse, you’ve finally made your way out of it.

While that’s a moment for real pride, it’s a moment of fear for them.

What do they do now?