Feeling courageous? I will start by saying good for you! It’s not everyday that kind of emotion crops up in people who knowingly deal with narcissists on a regular basis.
Something must have really happened for you to want to stand up to one, and I don’t say that lightly.
So what was it? Or have you simply just had enough?
The bad news is the revenge the narcissist has ready for you, and here are 8 ways they get it when you stand up to them.
They Don’t Want Your Bravery
While it may be empowering for you to stand up and fight for yourself, the narcissist has other ideas.
I don’t want you to think that you shouldn’t stand up to them as a result, because you absolutely should.
Narcissists like it when you obey, listen to them, do as they say, believe them and let them be in charge.
They don’t like it when you start being assertive and making your own choices because then they lose their power.
So be prepared…
Don’t Mess With the Dynamics
What works, works. That’s what narcissists love. They work hard to carve out their little toxic corner of the world.
The second you start messing with it, they’re going to have a huge problem on their hands.
Standing up for yourself is messing with the dynamics, but that shouldn’t stop you.
If you’re usually the meek and mild person who will nod and do as you’re told, the narcissist is going to suddenly have an open vacancy where you once stood.
When the narcissist is ready to punish you for daring to stand up for yourself, they will do so in these seven ways.
#1 Blame You
I find it really rude of you to raise your voice at me this way.
What do you feel you’re gaining by speaking to me like that?
How dare you be so crass as to answer me back!
This is all your fault anyway!
Whenever I hear somebody tell me that they were to blame, I ask the same question I will ask you now:
Really?
I mean, really?
Think about it.
Are you telling me that it’s your fault because you believe that, or because you were programmed to believe it?
If I were a betting man, I’d place bets on it being the latter. But here we are, and here is where we need to start healing this belief.
Standing up to the narcissist doesn’t make you to blame. You’re not trying to start a fight or cause further conflict.
You’re speaking your opinions, and for once, the narcissist can’t get hold of them and change them.
#2 Discredit You
You’re wrong.
Yeah, they tried to make me feel like shit, but I know how badly they read people so I am refusing to take the blame for it.
They don’t know what they’re talking about. They’re known to lie on occasions, so just ignore them.
You see how easy it is to discredit a person and almost make others feel pity for you?
I’m sad to report that this is how narcissists act when you try to make a stand against them.
They will shoot you down faster than you can blink, and it will be the kind of punishment that makes you feel helpless.
It’s the golden reason why they like their business and abuse to be as private as possible – so nobody else suspects them. Times like this will prove they’re right as they gain allies rather than enemies.
#3 Smear Campaign
Narcissists know how much you value your loved ones. The parents who always have your back, or the friends you have built up over the years to be a great source of comfort.
What about your coworkers, who know you inside and out?
Neighbors, perhaps? They love you. You always have such a cheery disposition and are always there when they need a hand.
I hate to say it, but you’re going to have to bid some of them farewell. I can’t tell you which ones, because that all depends on the narcissist and who they can get their claws into.
If you think you’re going to be exempt from the smear campaign, I want you to really think again.
Narcissists do love to spread lies and rumors, and if you’ve stood up to one, it’s going to happen even more so.
So let it be a little word of advice to you:
Prepare for loss.
And you know what? I always say the right people for you won’t leave you. If others are going to believe the lies of the narcissist, there’s no talking them round, so save your energy.
#4 Silent Treatment
I’m sorry.
I won’t do it again.
I hate it when you go quiet on me.
I was just trying to say what I thought.
I didn’t think you’d take it so badly.
It’s my fault.
You were right, I don’t know what I was thinking.
Do I need to tell you what’s happening here?
If I do, it’s this:
These phrases and thoughts will occur when the narcissist’s silent treatment toward you has worked.
#5 The Beast Awakens…
Unleashed and in full effect for all to see and witness.
Or least only for you. If it were in front of everybody then your truths about them would stand up, wouldn’t they?
Narcissists are smart like that. So if you’re standing up to them, they will make your life hell by being as beastly as possible…
…But only for your eyes.
#6 Insult: Doing What They Can!
You’re pathetic.
I don’t know why I bother.
What a waste of time it is knowing you.
You disgust me.
I can’t stand you when you’re like this.
Anything to chip away at your kind character that little bit more.
If it works, then great. That’s exactly what they want to do.
#7 Threats and Intimidation
It can get pretty serious, and I know of cases where police have had to intervene.
Ultimately, it’s the reality of what you’re dealing with, and the potential for some narcissists to take that next level is totally possible.
All I will say is take care of yourself, do the right thing, and put your needs first.
There is no room in your life for threats or intimidation.
#8 Discard
Is it a relief to be discarded? Probably not a first for the victim who has a strong yet toxic attachment to their abuser.
It’s hard t o break free and be independent, but it’s very possible.
Use their discard to your advantage, and start to live your life and never regret standing up to them.
