Leaving the narcissist means you are in a great position of control. This control festers away in the narcissist’s mind, because they’re so used to having it. Now? Now it becomes about the hard truths they learn now you’ve walked away.
They won’t be nice truths, in fact, they will taste bitter and cause the narcissist to resent everybody (like usual, then!)
These 8 truths are hard luck – and not your difficulty to swallow. This is now about them and how they cope with you around, while you’re living happily, of course.
#1 Their Control Was on Loan
The control a narcissist has over you is only ever really there until you decide it isn’t.
Before they came along, it didn’t exist in your life, and after it goes, it won’t either.
The key is to see the change they have on you during your time together, and understanding that the only way they get what they want is through manipulating you.
Their control over you worked because you stayed so invested in the relationship.
You showed up for somebody who used you. They gained access to you, and kept conditions just right for you to feel as though they pulled all the strings.
The moment you take it all away the narcissist had nothing to grip onto. You leave, and they realize there’s nobody around who they can treat the way they treated you, and it panics them, but leaves them with this harsh reality.
#2 You Had a Value That Was Authentic
While the narcissist will hate to admit it, having you around meant there was a certain energy you were holding together.
It’s only really noticed when you leave, and by then of course, it’s too late for the narcissist to get that back.
This hard truth means the attention you gave them, and all your patience throughout their ever-changing moods is no more.
They’ve got nobody to use, and while in time, they will find somebody to replace you, it’s never that easy or instant when it’s unexpected.
You leave a gap behind you that the narcissist hates the feeling of, and while they’ll never open up and say out loud that you’re missed, they will for sure feel it on the inside.
It should never be a time where you’re guilted into returning though. I want you to remember that as you walk ahead into a bright future, because many victims turn round and go back when they should be focusing on what’s ahead.
#3 There Are Consequences to All Actions
If you’re going to treat people poorly, eventually it will backfire and they will find their worth.
You can’t expect somebody to stick around forever if they’re being criticized from the moment they walk to the minute they go to bed.
When you walk away, it becomes a consequence that really sticks around, and the narcissist won’t be able to change or undo it.
And you know what? When you go, they find it impossible to dismiss the fact that you’ve rejected them and left.
It has to be a problem they deal with.
#4 Staying Is Not Something Everybody Does
A narcissist is so entitled that they forever assume they can treat people like dirt, and those people will still hang around and stay in their life.
Oh, they will adapt.
They’ll forgive me, they always do.
It doesn’t work that way, but the narcissist will get that reality check when you walk away for good.
As you leave, you leave cracks in those assumptions, proving that actually ,no, not everybody will put up with their behavior, and you are leading the way for yourself to have a better life.
You have limits. You have morals. And while the narcissist may have caused you to temporarily forget or abandon them, now you are remembering, and acting on it.
You weren’t born to follow and obey these toxic patterns.
#5 Their Narrative Is Breakable
A narcissist is reliant on other people following their narrative and perceiving it just how they’d hoped them to.
If you stay silent and grounded, you offer yourself a level of consistency you didn’t have before. Soon enough, the narcissist’s version of events becomes harder to sell in a convincing way.
Stillness looks like truth, and no matter what stories the narcissist fabricates, they will never erase what really went on during your time together.
Kinda tough for them, right? I mean, for years they tried hard to act the victim, and that everybody else is doing them wrong, and suddenly you become the one person who can break that by leaving.
They’re not as lovable as they claim to everybody else to be.
#6 Your Detachment Won the War
For all the times the narcissist has worked with your reactions and competed with every single emotion you have, now they’ve got nothing.
When you’re gone, there’s nobody to navigate, because your absence means they can’t even reach you to try.
So, stop engaging. Stop explaining yourself to somebody who is intent on misunderstanding you purposely Stop reacting to whatever it is they’re doing to you. I guarantee it’s all done because the narcissist wants to see you break and fall apart.
It’s a little bit like a virus. If everybody stopped moving and mingling, the virus would die out. This is your chance to stop moving toward the narcissist, and watch their power die out, too.
Your reactions influence them highly, and leave you depleted. Now is the time to get that energy back and fight for yourself.
#7 You Were Stronger Than They Gave You Credit For
To leave a narcissist takes some strength, and I don’t want to downplay that for you here.
Talking about that will hopefully give you a boost you might need to keep walking, and never look back at what you feel could have been.
These are nothing but wishes and hopes, but the reality stands that you have a choice, and that can include walking away.
Defying everything the narcissist has landed on you; that you’re not good enough, that you’ll never meet anybody else, you ignore.
You leave anyway, because you don’t believe their words, and that’s exactly how to win the entire battle, not just the war.
#8 Dynamics Are Not Always in Their Hands
The one thing a narcissist loves is conjuring up the dynamics that will work best for them in their life. They study their family, friends, you, with one thing in mind:
Who fits what role?
They will move you all around like you’re on a chessboard, with no care or concern for your feelings, but as soon as you realize you’re in control of where you move, the whole dynamic the narcissist created will crumble.
If your place changes, everything else has to as well.
That’s an impossible task for the narcissist to face, and as you leave, they’re forced to re-evaluate what they’ve created, and try to shift people to fit a new narrative without you in it.
Many narcissists don’t get that far before their entire mask slips.
But hey, that’s not your problem!
