You’re done! The narcissist is a complete loser, and you can’t believe you’ve spent so much time trying to fight for their love and affection.
The time has come where you’ve had enough, but what now?
Let me tell you – there are 8 things you should do right now if you’re done with the narcissist.
These are to save your mind, your body, and your soul from further damage.
Start healing, and take action today!
#1 Close up your finances
Money is such a strong power to the narcissist, and they know it.
The first step is simple as much as it is crucial:
Protect your money.
Get or keep individual accounts. Change your passwords. Lock down any access the narcissist has, and this doesn’t have to be out of spite, but out of your own safety.
It’s a fact that narcissists use money to control people, and they are highly likely to use it to trap and intimate you.
If you can close your finances, you close the door on the narcissist being able to just walk freely in.
If you are done with the narcissist, you don’t owe them anything.
The access to your heart, your life and your bank account have to close, and this is where you have to be smart.
Taking your power back must begin with these crucial steps, and if you can master that, you can master the art of newfound independence.
You will thank me for it later, trust me.
#2 Make sure your ID documents are up to date
From your passport to your birth certificate. From your driver’s license to your security number; it all has to be up to date, and in your hands.
These aren’t just forms of paperwork, they are the ticket to your freedom.
Narcissists are so good at hiding all the important pieces of paperwork that you rely on to gain anything.
From a new bank account ,to getting away, or signing up to rent a new property; you need identification.
These documents are your life inventory, and so you need to find everything, and update whatever you have that is expired.
I’d even go as far as making copies, and I don’t say that out of paranoia, I say it to help prepare you for the logistical nightmare that is your break up with the narcissist.
When you have those documents in your hand you have options.
This isn’t about running away, this is you planning to stand on your own two feet, and that’s so powerful.
#3 Start saving
You know every dollar counts. If you can start saving as soon as possible, without telling the narcissist this is what you’re doing, then you’re building yourself stronger paths out of the relationship you’re planning to leave.
The narcissist will hate the fact that you are taking steps to gain independence, so that is why you need to do this without letting them know that you have a stash of cash on the down low.
There is a difference between being sneaky and being safe, so I want you to understand that the latter is precisely where your head needs to be – and stay – at.
#4 Learn to let go of their tactics
From the gaslighting to the silent treatment, the guilt trips to the criticism; you will have seen it all.
But now? Now it’s time to stop believing any of it. Their tactics only work the moment you start engaging in the words they’re saying.
If you step back, you can detach and stop explaining yourself.
It isn’t a weakness to let go, you know. It’s the moment you get to feel clear about who you are, and what you want from this.
You can’t move forward while holding onto all the ideologies the narcissist carved out for you, because they aren’t you.
Being done with the narcissist means being fully done,not just a little bit.
Your peace will return, your life will come flooding back to you, and you’ll realize all the small – and big – ways you’ve missed out by staying with somebody so unappreciative.
#5 Stop reacting
When you’re being verbally bitten by the narcissist ,who is so keen to push you into throwing a reaction their way for supply, you stop. You’ve given them enough of your emotions over the years, and now they deserve no more.
The buttons they’ve insisted on pushing, and the anger they’ve pumped into your nervous system has fried you and made you feel completely on edge.
So it stops. It has to. Stop giving them what they want from you.
Answer less, explain nothing, and stop defending yourself just because they demand you to.
This silence will become your strength, and in that strength you can muster the energy and gumption to leave.
When you’ve had enough, that feeling will only grow instead of subsiding, so it’s up to you to keep going.
#6 Find and console in somebody you trust completely
Not everybody is deserving of hearing your story, what you went through, what you feel and how it’s made you become.
Choose who you trust wisely, and know that through it all, one person is enough, whether it be a relative, a sibling, a therapist or a friend.
The trust has to be there, but more importantly, you need to be heard.
That way ,a plan can formulate, and you are able to see how unnatural this whole relationship was.
It’s how you can learn to rebuild your life, putting it back together the way you want to.
#7 Keep evidence of their abuse
It doesn’t matter what the evidence is, but one thing you should start doing right now
If you are done with the narcissist, anticipate their denial.
Keep messages, voicemails, emails’ anything you have that is proof of their abuse.
The dates, the details, and any patterns that have formed are all so important in building a case against your abuser if that’s the road you want to walk down.
Abusers are known for rewriting history, and the narrative you try to spin without proof will be laughed at, which is why this is down to you now.
That way, when the narcissist starts to make you doubt yourself as they inevitably will, you have it in black and white that this wasn’t what happened.
You did not imagine all those terrible things.
#8 Start living life your way
Your story isn’t over just because your relationship with the narcissist is. You get to take a step now, and it will be the biggest step of your life.
You get to choose everything again, from the clothes you wear to your friends and goals.
No permission is required, and with that comes a gentle walk into an authentic you.
This is where you stop shrinking and start believing that a new life is not just possible, but tangible.
Doesn’t that sound like something you need to do when you know you’re done with the narcissist?
Don’t leave it too late. Start now, and you will expand into a brand new, more worthwhile era.
