I love travelling, don’t you?
It’s the best thing to see new places, learn a new language, or even just get away for a while and enjoy a different view from the norm.
When you think about travelling with a narcissist, what thoughts or memories come to mind? Are they funny? Some painful, even traumatic?
I hear you.
And I want to reiterate them to you right now.
Call it validation, if you will. I aim to make you seen by exposing every weird behavior I can.
#1 Turn Every Trip Into a Photo Shoot
Oh, here we go. You’ve barely even got in the car, and it starts already. The terrible photos of you alongside the most flattering and filtered photos of them. Don’t worry – they will no doubt all make it onto social media.
It’s all a photo shoot, isn’t it? From the journey, to the train or plan involved – it’s all going to be snapped and never forgotten.
As much as it pains you, this is just what happens when you go anywhere with the narcissist, and they always take front and center of every single shot.
They have to remind themselves as well as everybody they know what memories and adventures they are creating.
Their life has to have some meaning!
#2 Ruin the Vibe if They’re Not the Center of Attention
I cannot believe we’re here. Just look at the view.
I’ve always wanted to come here, I am so excited.
I can’t wait to explore.
This is the best time of my life.
I am so lucky and happy to be here.
Listen out for that little, pathetic voice…
…But what about me?
The narcissist feels sad that they’ve had to take a backseat in favor of you getting to go on this vacation.
They’re jealous of a place. They’re jealous that your focus and concentration and excitement all rolled into one has become more powerful than your love and admiration for them.
It’s all so tragic, isn’t it?
However will they stay alive with you threatening to elope with a place?
My goodness.
Get excited, too. Enjoy it together.
Oh wait, I’m talking about a narcissist here. That’ll never happen.
#3 Act Like a Celebrity at the Airport
Sunglasses? Check.
The bigger, the better? Check.
Huge aura of self-importance? Check.
Cue walking through customs like they just won a Grammy award. Looking around them as if they’re being papped and snapped by invisible photographers, and checking to see who is looking at them.
It’s pretty sad, isn’t it?
In reality, they’re heading to the queue like everybody else. They will make their way to their aisle economy seat where they will no doubt be served questionable chicken in a few hours time at 40,000ft.
What part of reality just doesn’t register with the narcissist?
Isn’t it just the weirdest thing to witness?
Or hilarious – I’ll also take that.
#4 Pretend They Know Everything About the Destination
Oh, I know exactly where to go.
I know there’s a restaurant close by with great reviews.
Did you know that actually the city was once a big part of the Civil Rights movement?
I actually know more than you think I do, believe me.
Okay, great.
Asking your Alexa device at home a few questions about your destination before you left the door to go doesn’t really count as ‘knowledge.’
It’s actually pretty embarrassing, but that’s narcissists all over, is it not?
Roll your eyes, let them say whatever crap they want to say, and get on with enjoying your travels.
#5 Use Traveling as a Power Play
They have to be in charge of the passports. They get to dictate where to go, what to do, and when you’re going to do it.
They want to be the one to check in so they can use flattery on the staff to try to get a free upgrade.
Does it not just drive you totally crazy? It’s so weird that they want to put so much power into what should otherwise be a very pleasant experience.
But no. The map comes out. And then you hear the familiar:
Look, I know what I’m doing.
You just have to let me get on with it.
Trust me. You don’t want to be traveling to that country.
I know it seems nice on the internet, but it’s not.
I don’t want to go there.
And so on, and on, and on.
And many people throw their hands up and say, “Okay, you organize it all, then.”
Big mistake.
The narcissist ants the power, and in saying that, you’re handing it to them on a plate.
#6 Create Conflict Right Before the Trip
I hear this all the time from people experiencing a narcissist.
This can go for anybody – a parent, sibling, friend – it does not matter.
Conflict does not discriminate!
You may have been there before yourself.
What ought to be a really exciting build up to the start of an adventure becomes a dreadful time of trying to just survive.
Narcissists can and will start arguments for no reason. They will hide their passport and ask you where you put it. They will take on extra work just so they can complain that they’re so busy they can’t even see themselves enjoying going.
They will snap at you if you ask them if they’ve started packing yet.
It’s a vicious cycle that they create to make you dread anything good.
What sort of person does that?
The weird narcissist, that’s who!
#7 Demand Praise for the Smallest Things
What do you think? I managed to get us seats at the restaurant!
You should be thanking me for being able to get this last train.
I know you clearly don’t appreciate the fact that I got a room with a beach view.
It’s constant. It’s like trying to watch your favorite show on a streaming device that annoyingly buffers every 7 seconds.
It will ruin the experience, and you will no doubt be left with that ultimate self-reflection question:
Why didn’t I just do this on my own?
Narcissists are horrendous to travel with because no matter how big your experience is, they will still want to be bigger.
#8 Constantly Compare the Trip to Past Ones
Well, it’s not as hot as it was when I came here last time.
Oh dear. My favorite cafe has closed down. It’s not the same any more.
I didn’t have this level of rudeness when I visited here on my gap year.
Or even worse, they will compare the trip to past ones with an ex.
When I came with (ex), we had such a blast with the dolphins.
Why don’t you just try to do the cave tour? (Ex) did.
Well a round of applause for the ex!
Comparisons like this will do nothing but make you feel like you aren’t good enough, and of course, that’s what they want you to feel.
Any excuse to ruin what should have been a once-in-a-lifetime experience for you to never forget.
Suddenly, you’re being thrown into the past of the narcissist, like it was the best time ever without you.
Narcissists are weird things!
