Do you ever wish you could get inside the mind of a narcissist and find out all their secret thoughts?
It might seem as though you know what’s going on upstairs, but in reality, there are secrets they’re holding about themselves you’d be shocked to hear.
And far be it from me to withhold these golden nuggets of information from you. After all, this is about gaining the upper hand and empowering you, right?
Let’s check out those 7 secret thoughts narcissists have about themselves.
Secret Thoughts?! …
I know, right? It’s hard to believe a person so full of their own gas could possibly have secret thoughts we’d never guess from the outside, but it’s true!
While they are incredibly shallow people, narcissists also think thoughts they don’t want anybody else to know for a very good reason:
These thoughts lean toward the idea that the narcissist is either weak, or vulnerable, or both.
And don’t get me wrong – I don’t see weakness as negative. We all have them; we’re human, after all! Narcissists see weakness as a real issue, though.
Why Keep These Secrets?
The quickest and clearest way to explain why they refuse to speak of these secret thoughts is that they won’t want to appear to be anything other than perfect to those around them.
It’s as simple as that!
And now for those thoughts!
#1 “I’m Scared of Being Abandoned”
It’s never nice when a person you care about leaves you, but narcissists have a deep rooted fear of being abandoned.
It comes from their earlier years, where likely a parent wasn’t present nearly enough for them.
They may have even had a parent leave home, and be living with those painful memories.
As narcissists refuse to show pain, that pain will be converted to a secret fear and thought that it will happen again.
It’s why they try so hard to prove that they’re indestructible. With the ego to match.
#2 “I Hate Myself”
Not wanting to admit that they hate themselves, narcissists will do a great job of tucking that thought right into the back of their mind.
It will seep out though, as you know. It will look like anger, rage, control, grandiose thoughts of themselves, seeing endless faults in other people including you.
The hate a narcissist feels for themselves is never going to go away. It’s something they have always had to live will and always will.
#3 “How Can I Always Be The Best?”
Narcissists will have sleepless nights trying to think of ways to always be the best.
Please don’t mistake what I’m saying for the best version of themselves, because I feel like that’s a concept we should all try to live by.
I mean the best. Better than everybody else. More attractive, successful, richer, funnier, more intelligent – everything.
They will think and think of all the ways they can outsmart and outearn you just so they have exclusive bragging rights to their own possessions and accomplishments.
The fact is – they are no better than you or I.
Deep down in their hollow souls, they know that, too.
#4 “I Have Fears”
All people have fears, including narcissists.
The difference between your fears and theirs is that you admit you have them, and the narcissist buries them.
So deep, in fact, that they become really difficult to keep a lid on in life.
The narcissist will go home at night and think about those fears. They will toy and grapple with the idea that they exist, and that they are trying hard to deny them.
If I ignore them, they will go away.
After a period of time it will be more like:
I have to hide what others will see as strong vulnerabilities.
#5 “Why Are People Always Out To Get Me?”
The paranoia of a narcissist can really kick in as they try to think about why so many people seem intent on being out to get them.
Am I a terrible person?
Maybe they have got me all figured out.
Are they doing this on purpose?
What are they trying to do to me?
This is the guilty conscience of the narcissist talking. Deep down in the back of their mind, they know the kind of person they are, and that guilt can rise from time to time, portrayed as the assumption that people want revenge.
Hey, narcissist, revenge for what? I thought you said you were perfect…? If you think somebody is out to get you, you might want to take the time and ask yourself why that might be.
Could it be because you stir trouble wherever you go?
Check!
#6 “Why Do People Not Understand Me?”
In a way, narcissists don’t want to be understood. They like to be two steps ahead of everybody else, so they can continue in their quest to play the worst games imaginable – including those with your head and heart.
In other ways, narcissists always have this secret thought of not understanding why people don’t understand them.
I am a very clear person, why can’t people just see what I need from them?
Why can’t they comprehend what I am asking?
The narcissist sees everybody else as the problem, as they fail to ask the golden question:
What is it about me that is non-understandable?
For that, we could fill an entire notebook…
#7 “Why Am I Always The Victim?
Everything that happens, happens to you, right, narcissist?
Spare me the agony of watching you fake and feign yet another way to the hearts of people you want sympathy from.
If there is a less than ideal day in the eyes of the narcissist, their secret thoughts will be, why me?
What did I do to deserve this?
Why are people so hard on me?
Painfully, they run outwardly with these thoughts as well, but they just cannot see that they were the initial cause.
#8 “What More Can I Do For People?”
They do so much. My goodness. What honorable, noble people narcissists are.
Doing everything they can to ensure everybody else is looked after, they are the kindest and most compassionate people in the whol-
No, I can’t do it to myself, or you, a moment longer.
Sure, this is a secret thought of a narcissist. They believe to the highest order that they live to serve, when all they do in reality is live to make everybody they know miserable.
In their heads, they are perfect, and they truly cannot see what they do wrong to make people turn their backs on them.
Let me give you a clue – it cannot be the fault of everybody else.
