Have you ever tried calling out a narcissist and ended up feeling like you were the crazy one?
Yeah, me too.
Narcissists have a sneaky bag of tricks they pull the moment you dare to expose them, and believe me, it’s pure BS.
I want to break down the 8 most ridiculous things they do when you call them out and they feel confronted.
If you’ve ever walked away from narcissistic conflict wondering what just happened, you need to read this.
Let’s expose them together!
#1 They call you the narcissist the second you call them out
The worst thing about calling a narcissist out is them throwing it back in your face before you can even pause to take a breath.
It’s all in the delivery, and how they see your comments as ammunition or an excuse to start a fight.
The defensive nature of the narcissist probably won’t surprise you as you mutter any word that resembles calling them out.
They will hate you for it, and look for any excuse to point the blame away from them. You’re there, and it works.
What are you talking about?
Are you even aware of how toxic you are being right now?
Oh, so I’m the bad guy?!
You are being abusive right now and you don’t even see it!
It’ll fly your way quicker than dust in the wind, and I need you to know what total bullshit this is.
Don’t buy it. Don’t believe it, even though they will try their damndest to convince you.
#2 They cause arguments on Holidays and birthdays
Whenever anything remotely special rolls around, you can bet the narcissist will do all they can to ruin it.
They won’t meet your normal expectations.
They won’t be happy.
They won’t enjoy themselves.
They won’t feel happy in your light if it’s your big day.
They will kick up a fuss.
They will argue.
They will cause emotional friction.
They will look for any opportunity to make you miserable.
All because it’s a special occasion that you’ve been building up to, and looking forward to.
Now you get to see the side of them unwilling to allow the free flow of happy memories being created.
They’d prefer instead to hook negativity on every past event so you learn to dread anything good in your life.
Mostly, it teaches you to:
- Not make a big deal of your birthday
- Not want to celebrate
- Not see friends or family
- Not cherish the moments that we all live for
#3 They always walk ahead of you
Whenever I tell people this one, I always get a, “Yes! This!” moment from them.
Of course, it makes sense for the narcissist to stride forward, the all important entity, while you drag on behind, always seen second, and thought of as the same in the league of society.
We all know what bullshit this is, but let me state something if it isn’t already obvious enough:
Being in a relationship is about being equal. Being comfortable enough to walk in first, or second, and not even considering the fact that you’re first or second.
It’s pretty weird that all narcissists feel they have to assert themselves in this sad way, but here we are, making a whole other topic about their toxic games.
#4 They act kind and helpful to everybody else but you
Calling a narcissist out always gives life to the potential that you could extend that news to people you know.
What does that mean for the narcissist? It means they’re in a spot of bother!
What are their choices? They’ve got to prove to everybody that they’re a really good person. So anything you say looks like a stark contrast to what others view, witness and experience.
It’s the oldest trick in the book, but ultimately this move is designed to make you look like a liar.
Their kind and helpful ways are truly fake, but as far as everybody else is concerned, this is the real version they’re getting, and anything you say to the contrary is going to make you look like you’re in it for the drama.
#5 They never give you a straight answer
When you’re calling a narcissist out, the first thing you want to do is watch them for how they respond.
There will never be a straight up yes or no. Why would there be?
Anything this direct will give way to a host of accountabilities that will leave them looking like the bad guy, which they will do everything in their powers to avoid.
Imagine any narcissist holding their hands up and saying, “You’re right. I am a narcissist. I am a terrible person, and I am sorry for putting you through all of this.”
Yeah, right!
If you’re looking for honesty, you’re still not going to get it here, sorry!
#6 You’re to blame for all their problems
Of course, it all has to be you! It can’t possibly be that they act and speak in terrible ways that they’re fully in control of!
My goodness, whatever next…?
The problem only really starts when victims believe this to be true. They spend their whole lives apologizing for things they haven’t done, but this is exactly what the narcissist wants.
If the spotlight is on you, then they’re left to their own devices in the dark.
And that is a place you really don’t want them to be lingering, which is why you call them out, right?
#7 They don’t say sorry, they go silent
Sorry is far too much of an easy word to say when the alternative would just be to go silent and ignore everything that’s going on.
In fact, it isn’t beyond a narcissist to hold their hands up and say, “This has nothing to do with me.”
What a dumb thing to do, because in fact, their silence is what harbors where exactly the fault lies.
What you deserve is a proper apology, and when you don’t get it, it can trick your mind into believing that there is no apology needed.
That’s not true, and you are overdue it.
#8 They lie … about everything
If I could change the middle name of every narcissist to ‘liar’, I think the world would be a much better place to live.
It would certainly help us pull out the narcissists from the emotionally healthy of us, wouldn’t it?
Narcissists have zero conscience. If they have an opportunity to lie, they will lie.
There’s no care about what you think, just about how they can worm their way out of the latest scenario, preferably to make themselves look like the innocent people they’re not.
When you call them out, they will throw a dozen lies back into your face without so much as a bat of an eye.
Be careful of that. It will work you up into a stupor that you simply cannot pull away from easily.
You want justice. You want the truth. Instead, you get more and more untruths.
It’s better to remember why they’re doing it – because they’re scared. They fear your awakening.
