You want the narcissist to sing about you on social media? You finally met the person of your dreams, but as far as their online life is concerned, you don’t even exist.
What’s the deal, here?
Something doesn’t add up, but before you start making excuses for them, I want to hit you with 8 reasons why they never mention you online.
I also hope each reason is also a reason to get up and leave, before it’s too late.
As Much As You Want Them To…
This is just another example of how narcissists aren’t going to give you what you want no matter how hard you hope and pray.
Social media is a great tool for connecting and collaborating, but beyond that, it can be used to feed lies to people who follow you.
This ultimately gives them false illusions. That you’re perfect, and that the life you lead is equally so.
And so if you are looking to be a part of the perfect life they portray, you’re going to run into several reasons why that may not be happening.
And I want you to know – none of these should take you by surprise in the slightest.
#1 Spotlight Hogging
First up, we have the most obvious of them all – yes – how dare you even consider hogging the spotlight?
Don’t you know that you should be hiding away, fading into the background?
Narcissists don’t want any attention on you, so they’re going to do their utmost to keep you hidden and make sure they still have the limelight all to themselves.
It’s pretty childish, I think you’ll agree. Beyond that, it’s so immature to refuse to share photos of the person you claim to love simply because you don’t want people to shift their focus from the narcissist to you. Heaven forbid anybody does that, right?
Social media therefore, is on lockdown. And only the narcissist gets the center stage position.
#2 You’re Not a Trophy (Yet)
When the time is right, point one will become obsolete and replaced with this one:
You are now a trophy, and you are going to be shown off at every possible opportunity.
It’s a stark contrast, isn’t it? One moment, they didn’t want to share you at all, and now, you’re being catapulted into a display cabinet so everybody can ogle you.
What comes with that?
Compliments to the narcissist, of course!
You’re very lucky!
It’s great you’ve found somebody so successful.
You’ve got everything you ever wanted – congratulations!
You’re the perfect fit!
You look so good together!
Of course, these kinds of compliments will only flow when the narcissist has moulded their victim into just the kind of person they want to show off.
Then will come the photos from the faraway places you go to, and how much you do for them.
#3 Mystery = Power Play
The mystery of you not being on social media is a real power play. It gives the narcissist an opportunity to have all the questions thrown at them that are possible.
So, who’s the lucky person?
When are you going to introduce us?
Wow, you really must honor your relationship.
You’re such a good person for taking it slow.
You can imagine the level of vomit that struggles to stay in my stomach as I write those pathetic phrases, but it’s all designed for the narcissist to have that power play over others, and you.
For you – you’re asking, “When will we become official?”
The answer is only in the narcissist’s hands. And they love that.
#4 Social Media = Stage, Not Reality
Hold on a second…
…Why are you insistent on walking onto the stage of the narcissist, when in fact, it is their stage?
The place where they gain all the attention. The point where they and only they want to stand, soaking in all the adoration from their audience.
And you want to share it with them?
Do you know exactly the kind of thing you’re asking, here?
Well, we all know this:
When we go to see a play, or anybody on stage, we know it isn’t real life. They’re stories. Plays. Shows. It’s not reality, but it draws us in for a short amount of time, doesn’t it?
It’s exactly the same with narcissists, and at that moment they’ve got people watching, they do not want the spotlight hogged by anybody else.
Least of all, you.
#5 They’d Rather Post a Selfie
When it boils down to it, the narcissist is far more interested in taking a selfie, cropping and filtering it to make it just right, and posting it online.
They don’t care about you and you being in half of that photo. That means the narcissist would only get half the attention or replies, right?
Worst nightmare!
And so, they pose, they pout, they show off, they look wonderful, and then they post it out into the world as part of their image-building game playing.
Wow, you look incredible!
Great picture!
Stunning, as always!
Have you been working out?
Your skin is amazing!
You look so strong!
The sun suits you.
You’ve seen the comments – and they are just sickly sweet.
But they’re just for the narcissist.
As far as you go – you can simply remain invisible.
#6 Vulnerability
Imagine a narcissist letting the world know they were soft on somebody?
No honestly, imagine it. They prefer the whole:
Look at us on this vacation.
Loving life!
Look at our expensive dinner we’re having!
It’s never going to be a gushy, long statement about how much you mean to them, or even admitting that they’re even with you.
They don’t want to be vulnerable enough to put themselves out there ready for the risk of pain or opinions.
So they keep you quiet, and tuck you away like you’re loose change in their back pocket.
#7 Fear of Accountability
As soon as people know about you, how they two of you met, what you feel for each other, how long you’ve been together, what your future plans are – all of it – they’ve shot themselves.
Soon, your public affairs will turn into the following from people they know:
So, how’s so and so?
What are your plans?
How do you feel?
Did you say you were going to surprise them with a weekend away?
I thought you’d be taking them out tonight instead of being busy here.
Suddenly, accountability comes into factor.
What they should be doing, and why they didn’t do what they said they would yet.
#8 Control the Narrative, Always
Narcissists want to be in charge of what happens as much as they can. Knowing this is impossible all of the time, they try to hold onto it online because it’s fairly easy to do.
People only know what the narcissist uploads or posts, and from that a narrative is born.
It can be molded and shaped in ways the narcissist controls, and that’s why it’s easier to leave you out of the equation.
That way, they’re seen as free spirits and can flirt with as many people online as they want.
Is that right? No.
Is anything the narcissist does right or fair? No!
