You want the narcissist to sing about you on social media? You finally met the person of your dreams, but as far as their online life is concerned, you don’t even exist.

What’s the deal, here?

Something doesn’t add up, but before you start making excuses for them, I want to hit you with 8 reasons why they never mention you online.

I also hope each reason is also a reason to get up and leave, before it’s too late.

As Much As You Want Them To…

This is just another example of how narcissists aren’t going to give you what you want no matter how hard you hope and pray. 

Social media is a great tool for connecting and collaborating, but beyond that, it can also be used to spread misinformation to people who follow you.

This ultimately gives them false illusions. That you’re perfect, and that the life you lead is equally so. 

And so if you are looking to be a part of the perfect life they portray, you’re going to run into several reasons why that may not be happening. 

And I want you to know – none of these should take you by surprise in the slightest. 

#1 Spotlight Hogging

First up, we have the most obvious of them all – yes – how dare you even consider hogging the spotlight?

Don’t you know that you should be hiding away, fading into the background?

Narcissists don’t want any attention on you, so they’re going to do their utmost to keep you hidden and make sure they still have the limelight all to themselves. 

It’s pretty childish, I think you’ll agree. Beyond that, it’s so immature to refuse to share photos of the person you claim to love simply because you don’t want people to shift their focus from the narcissist to you. Heaven forbid anybody does that, right?

Social media therefore, is on lockdown. And only the narcissist gets the center stage position. 

#2 You’re Not a Trophy (Yet)

When the time is right, point one will become obsolete and replaced with this one:

You are now a trophy, and you are going to be shown off at every possible opportunity.

It’s a stark contrast, isn’t it? One moment, they didn’t want to share you at all, and now, you’re being catapulted into a display cabinet so everybody can ogle you. 

What comes with that?

Compliments to the narcissist, of course!

You’re very lucky!

It’s great you’ve found somebody so successful.

You’ve got everything you ever wanted – congratulations!

You’re the perfect fit!

You look so good together!

Of course, these kinds of compliments will only flow when the narcissist has moulded their victim into just the kind of person they want to show off. 

Then will come the photos from the faraway places you go to, and how much you do for them. 

#3 Mystery = Power Play

The mystery of you not being on social media is a real power play. It gives the narcissist an opportunity to have all the questions thrown at them that are possible. 

So, who’s the lucky person?

When are you going to introduce us?

Wow, you really must honor your relationship.

You’re such a good person for taking it slow.

You can imagine the level of vomit that struggles to stay in my stomach as I write those pathetic phrases, but it’s all designed for the narcissist to have that power play over others, and you. 

For you – you’re asking, “When will we become official?” 

The answer is only in the narcissist’s hands. And they love that. 

#4 Social Media = Stage, Not Reality

Hold on a second…

…Why are you insistent on walking onto the stage of the narcissist, when in fact, it is their stage?

The place where they gain all the attention. The point where they and only they want to stand, soaking in all the adoration from their audience.

And you want to share it with them?

Do you know exactly the kind of thing you’re asking, here? 

Well, we all know this:

When we go to see a play, or anybody on stage, we know it isn’t real life. They’re stories. Plays. Shows. It’s not reality, but it draws us in for a short amount of time, doesn’t it?

It’s exactly the same with narcissists, and at that moment they’ve got people watching, they do not want the spotlight hogged by anybody else. 

Least of all, you.

#5 They’d Rather Post a Selfie

When it boils down to it, the narcissist is far more interested in taking a selfie, cropping and filtering it to make it just right, and posting it online.

They don’t care about you and you being in half of that photo. That means the narcissist would only get half the attention or replies, right? 

Worst nightmare!

And so, they pose, they pout, they show off, they look wonderful, and then they post it out into the world as part of their image-building game playing. 

Wow, you look incredible!

Great picture!

Stunning, as always!

Have you been working out?

Your skin is amazing!

You look so strong!

The sun suits you.

You’ve seen the comments – and they are just sickly sweet. 

But they’re just for the narcissist. 

As far as you go – you can simply remain invisible. 

#6 Vulnerability

Imagine a narcissist letting the world know they were soft on somebody? 

No honestly, imagine it. They prefer the whole:

Look at us on this vacation.

Loving life!

Look at our expensive dinner we’re having!

It’s never going to be a gushy, long statement about how much you mean to them, or even admitting that they’re even with you. 

They don’t want to be vulnerable enough to put themselves out there ready for the risk of pain or opinions.

So they keep you quiet, and tuck you away like you’re loose change in their back pocket. 

#7 Fear of Accountability

As soon as people know about you, how they two of you met, what you feel for each other, how long you’ve been together, what your future plans are – all of it – they’ve shot themselves. 

Soon, your public affairs will turn into the following from people they know:

So, how’s so and so?

What are  your plans?

How do you feel?

Did you say you were going to surprise them with a weekend away?

I thought you’d be taking them out tonight instead of being busy here.

Suddenly, accountability comes into factor.

What they should be doing, and why they didn’t do what they said they would yet.

#8 Control the Narrative, Always

Narcissists want to be in charge of what happens as much as they can. Knowing this is impossible all of the time, they try to hold onto it online because it’s fairly easy to do. 

People only know what the narcissist uploads or posts, and from that a narrative is born.

It can be molded and shaped in ways the narcissist controls, and that’s why it’s easier to leave you out of the equation. 

That way, they’re seen as free spirits and can flirt with as many people online as they want. 

Is that right? No.

Is anything the narcissist does right or fair? No!

DO THIS To Get Under The Skin Of a Narcissist

Have you ever wanted to get under a narcissist’s skin? Let me tell you, it’s easier than you think!

Narcissists thrive on control and being admired, but there are ways to break through their seemingly tough exterior. 

It’s actually pretty weak!

The key is understanding their weaknesses. Their fragile egos and need for validation lead to a huge fear of being exposed. 

Therefore, using the right tactics can disrupt their game and leave you to take back your power.

Ready to flip the script and watch them squirm?

#1 The Art of Staying Calm

While narcissists think the way to get somebody’s attention is to speak loudly and intimidate them – there’s a lot to be said for remaining calm and collected. Some might say there is an art to it.

Think about it. An argument begins, and you know it has nothing to do with you.

The narcissist entered the room in a certain mood, and was intent on creating noise and drama.

It goes against everything you believe in, yet there you are, experiencing it. 

What choice do you have?

Well, a lot, actually. You have a lot of choices. You can continue to play along and match the pitch. You can cry and allow them to see you being mentally drained before their eyes.

Or…

You can stay calm and let them rage and shout, knowing it has nothing to do with you. Yes, you’re the target, and nobody wants to be.

But…

You’re not the one who has to respond. Nobody does. 

Staying calm throws the narcissist into unfamiliar waters because they’re used to you acting differently.

They don’t have anything to bounce off, like they usually would. Your calm aura is like a door closing on them, and it really gets under their skin. 

Okay.

Uh-huh.

I hear you.

I’m listening, but I will not shout back at you.

I would really appreciate it if you could understand your shouting is not getting us anywhere. 

Staying calm like this is going to shut the narcissist down and pertain to the idea that noise and anger won’t get anybody anywhere.

Once they know they can’t rile you, the annoyance will lie in the new understanding that they can’t gain any supply from you this way. 

#2 Be Firm!

Well, no narcissists like firmness. 

Firmness usually means you have boundaries, and boundaries are something all narcissists hate. They can’t stand to be told which side of the line to stand.

They hate even knowing there is a line in the first place!

When somebody so toxic has been used to walking all over you, it will be a shock to them when you suddenly develop assertiveness.

You will be met with resistance when you lay down what you will no longer put up with. Remember, the narcissist is used to knowing a certain version of you. The version that says yes instead of no.

When you stop with one, and start with the other – you’re going to get right under their skin!

#3 Ignore Them: Refusing To Hand Over Supply

I don’t want you to think that ignoring them is the same as giving them the silent treatment. I don’t believe in treating toxic behavior with equal toxicity – because two wrongs don’t make a right. 

However…

Silence where noise once rested is a way of retaining dignity and class, which may previously have been reverted to supply for them regarding your emotions. 

#4 Stand in Your Truth

There’s really no better place to stand. In your truth, everything makes sense. It’s where you can stand, knowing you are giving it your all and believing in yourself fully. 

It’s where confidence starts to grow and you’ll find a more assertive version of yourself. 

For that very reason, standing in your truth even though the narcissist is trying hard to pull you out of it, is crucial.

#5 Grey Rock 

Have you ever heard of Grey Rock? I am sure by now that so many of you will know what I mean by it, but just in case, let’s get a briefing!

Grey rock is nothing. It means to give the narcissist as little, if anything at all, as possible. You hear them, and you want to respond, but instead, you choose to say, “Okay,” “Sure,” “Uh-huh.”

Your face is calm and emotionless, and there isn’t an ounce of feeling in your voice. 

Giving the narcissist the proverbial grey rock is how you retain your power and give them absolutely nothing to feed from.

Will they like it?

Absolutely not!

But the more you exude it, the smaller they will feel. 

For too long, the narcissist has provoked and triggered you.

It’s time for all of that to stop.

#6 Call Them Out – and Mean it

Hey. What you did back there was wrong. 

Do you realize how you treated that person? You act like you don’t even care.

It was your fault we were late. Even though you had the time written down, you still got here after everybody else. 

You’re trying to be mean to me, but it just won’t work. 

I see what you’re doing, and I want you to know that I don’t fall for it.

Anything where you can throw some assertive statements into the mix without getting sucked into an argument, you should be able to do.

Getting under the skin of a narcissist is how you make what they’re doing almost seem like something to belittle. Narcissists hate being caught out and hate being embarrassed even more!

#7 Start to Thrive Away From Them

If there’s one thing guaranteed to annoy a narcissist – it’s your independence. 

Oh, you’re going out?

Actually, yes I am. I am going out in this outfit, and I look fantastic. You aren’t going to stop me. 

Are you applying for that job? Isn’t it a little out of your reach?

Yes, I am applying for it because, guess what, I am qualified and skilled, and I want to get it.

Thrive. Don’t just thrive a little; thrive like you mean it!

#8 Play By Your Own Rules

It’s probably been a long time since you’ve picked up your copy of the rulebook, but it’s still there.

It may be a little dusty, but now you get to dampen it down and start acting as if you are the main character of your own life. 

Don’t ever let anybody, least of all a narcissist, dictate to you. 

Your rules equate to what you want from life and how you want to go out and fight for it all. 

This is not up for debate!