Narcissists will never show when they’re terrified, but trust me when I say it’s a constant thought process running through their minds.
They’re terrified of being exposed, but mostly, they’re terrified of losing you.
Watch them as soon as you even slightly hint that you don’t rely on them solely, and see how much it rattles them at the thought of you walking away.
Here are 8 reasons why narcissists are terrified to lose you.
#1 You will spill the truth
Throughout all your time together, you found some truths that would rattle your family and social circle to the core.
You saw the narcissist on their darkest days, you witnessed and experienced their abusive side, and emotionally, you are now dangling by a thread.
The truth is within you already, and if the narcissist starts to think about what life may be like without you, they think about all the things you could spill to everybody else.
What would it do if you did?
It would ruin their reputation, for a start! It calls into play all their friendships, and naturally there will be a number of people who will step back and not want to be around them.
Narcissists work to do everything to make that not happen, and as a result, are obsessed with perfection.
If you threaten that, it becomes a huge fear for them!
#2 They need your supply
Supply is like air; narcissists can’t live without it. They need your reactions, your tears, your pain to see them through each day.
Your emotions fuel them and give them more and more strength, but it comes at a huge cost to you.
As you wilt and weaken, they thrive even more knowing how much control they have over your feelings. Soon enough, you become a shell of yourself, with nothing else to give.
The supply will run out the moment you leave, so the narcissist cannot even stand the idea of you walking away and leaving them.
It terrifies them so much that they pull the weirdest tricks out of their sleeve in order to stop you from going anywhere.
#3 They don’t want to appear not good enough
Okay, so think about it a little more deeply.
The narcissist looks good all the while they have a partner. Why?
Because all the while they have somebody to go home to, people assume they’re good enough to be with and to love in that way.
It’s why so many of them shack up and get married so fast; because they want the world to witness the love story that sets them apart from everybody else.
They want that Prince or Princess Charming act to be bought by the masses.
If you left them?
It would be proof that the narcissist wasn’t worth staying around for.
#4 They rely on you more than you realize
I know they probably won’t want to admit to relying on you, but in truth, they absolutely cannot live without you.
You forgive them constantly, even when they say or do the most terrible things.
You’re always there for them, even though they don’t offer that in return.
For these reasons and so many more, the narcissist is heavily reliant on you sticking around and keeping them occupied and in control.
Sounds pretty terrifying to lose, right?
#5 It triggers huge abandonment issues
I’ll let you into a valuable secret:
Narcissists are very good at pretending they are strong, but underneath it all, they are absolutely terrified of losing you.
Losing you activates a part of them that is fearful of abandonment.
From when they were little, they were put on such a pedestal they couldn’t imagine being neglected.
They were just as scared of not being loved as you were, only their ego relied on getting some, whereas yours didn’t.
This is one huge reason why narcissists love control so much. Ultimately, it’s about keeping people hooked because the fear is they will one day just leave.
#6 They aren’t a fan of being alone
Being alone triggers a sense of isolation that brings out the worst in any narcissist.
They sit and start to become paranoid that they’re missing out on something amazing, important, or gossip worthy of an award.
They start to convince themselves that people don’t like them, or are talking about them behind their backs.
Then it really kicks in. They’ve suddenly got time to be alone with themselves, and with their cold, toxic personality and nobody to weigh down with it, they start to feel weighed down themselves.
If they lost you, they’d have to spend more time on their own, paving the way for all of this to happen.
Not something they ever want to experience!
The terrifying truth is, that’s exactly why they keep you around. And you think it’s love.
What I will say is, it’s not personal!
#7 They lose control of you
Control is the glue that holds a narcissist together. Losing it means they’ve lost everything.
If they had the choice ,they would hold onto any aspect of controlling you and everybody else forever, proving their self-proclaimed ‘top dog’ status.
Unfortunately for them, ‘top dog status’ doesn’t exist.
They are just like you and me, and eventually at the idea of losing you, they will worry and lose sleep over the possibility of not being able to pull those strings any more.
All those times they make sly digs at you, or comments that may appear harmless but are in fact a way to keep you in line; they thrive from them.
Knowing that you do exactly what they say is almost like an affirmation to them.
I really am the almighty and powerful.
The moment you go, or even the thought of you going?
So does that power.
Dread: incoming!
#8 They hate seeing you are fine without them
When you act fine without the narcissist, they can’t stand it.
Say for example, you spend the day with your mom or a friend. You visit a city and have lunch together, taking in the sights and sounds.
You take photos, and upload them to your socials. You’re smiling and having a great time, and the narcissist was nowhere to be seen.
They didn’t fund the day, they didn’t come along for the ride, and they weren’t even really thought about.
This terrifies the narcissist. Of course, they will seem pleased you went out and had a good time, but your connection with your mom will be seen as a threat to them.
That’s when they think, “What if some day, they go to their mom and complain about me?”
They’re genuinely terrified that your mom’s opinion will persuade you into leaving.
This is exactly why triangulation exists; to break down strong relationships.
Just when you think you’re having a wonderful time, the narcissist will see a bond that needs to be immediately weakened before you are gone for good.
