They say money doesn’t make you happy, but I beg to differ. In some ways, having a little bit of money gives you more options in life, and lets you explore the world a little bit if you want to.
It takes the stress of the daily cost of living, and without it, that stress can build overwhelmingly.
That’s where a narcissist likes to jump in; deliberately ruining you financially so you end up with nothing.
Here are 8 reasons why they do that.
#1 To make you dependent on them
A narcissist is happiest when they know you rely on them for every financial decision you need to make.
They love knowing that you need their financial input for the bills or rent, or if you need a loan ‘til pay day.
Your requests are like music to their ears, as they love being needed.
They want to see you ask for money so they can both tut under their breath while handing it over.
It’s as if they want to tell you how irresponsible you are while giving you what you need to make you feel all that little bit worse, guilty, or ashamed.
It’s enough to ruin anybody, I know, but these are the games that are played from the moment you meet.
They want to celebrate you by stripping you of your independence, then tell you off for needing them.
#2 To ‘prove’ you can’t be trusted with money
If you’ve been financially ruined by a narcissist, the chances are they dug out the entire situation just to be able to say to you:
See? You’re lucky you have me. Clearly you wouldn’t let a day without me financially. It’s a good job one of us is responsible with their money and saves for moments like this.
It’s their way of provoking you into believing that you aren’t capable of organizing and looking after your own money, and that you cannot be trusted with your earnings and income.
I know, I know. You don’t have to tell me. I know it’s gaslighting, and it can get pretty serious if you start to truly believe that you are a danger to your own bank account.
#3 To provoke you into feeling disorganized
Why can’t you pay your bills on time?
Why are you being so careless with your money?
Another jacket? Really? Do you need it, or are you just addicted to spending money?
Are you leaving to pay this to the last minute again?
You think you’re being organized, but you can tell from the narcissist that you seem to be mislaying that part of you and replacing it with a much more fractured version of yourself when it comes to your finances.
This isn’t true, and the narcissist knows it. The trouble is, they’re so good at convincing that you will believe what they tell you, and go along with whatever suggestion – or ‘cure’ – they offer.
#4 So they can jump in and ‘help’
Ah, yes. The cause, then the cure, as briefly stated above. This is a classic narcissistic tactic, especially when they want to look like they’re doing you a favor.
“I want to break you, so I can fix you and show you that you need me.”
They will encourage you to spend your money, telling you that you deserve it.
Then something will come up, an unexpected bill, or something that’s needed for the house.
When you can’t pay straight away, they will jump in and cover the cost, telling you that you need to be more careful with your money and try to save.
Over time ,these little patterns and displays will lead you to believe that you can’t function without their financial input.
You’ll think, “If we ever break up, how will I manage to look after myself?”
And so, you stay. And the narcissist has you right where they want you.
#5 Because they can
I know that might sound pretty vague but you have to think like a narcissist sometimes, and this is one of those occasions.
Narcissists will deliberately do anything detrimental to you simply because they can.
This leans heavily into just how entitled they are, and how badly they want to get under your skin and ruin whatever it is that you’ve going for you that’s good.
Finances are an easy target because you are likely to own your own bank account and have money going in and coming out of it.
It’s a great avenue for a narcissist to walk down if they know they can manipulate you, your money, and how you spend it.
It’s time like this you need to remember exactly the kind of rotten person that you’re dealing with.
#6 Because they love to ruin your boundaries
If a narcissist can push your boundaries, they will.
This is why I always advise at every possible chance you get to hold onto them tightly, otherwise you will never be in a pace that you can call your own, and you will never be able to put yourself first.
If your finances are a boundary, which they should be, the narcissist will see it like any other boundary you’re willing to give up for them.
They will push and push at them until you decide you want there to be no boundary at all, and that will be just one more they’ve ruined in your life.
#7 They think they always know what’s best
If you could just listen to me, I promise I know what’s best for you.
This savings account will work great for you.
I think you really need to invest.
I know it might cost a little more, but I truly believe it will be worth it.
Before you know it, you have just given all your money to one thing that you didn’t intend on even sniffing at.
The narcissist will claim it’s a good idea because they know you so well and know what’s best for you, and you will think they’re great at helping you.
They’re not.
The only thing they’re good for is ruining your finances whenever they get the chance.
#8 They want a piece of your financial success
If you just so happen to be financially well off or successful, you can bet your bottom dollar the narcissist will want a huge slice of it.
To just be associated with somebody financially successful is enough for their ego to carry them through into your light, and if they can get that free ride, they will.
If that means they demand the best of everything, reminding you consistently that you have the money, then they will do that.
It’s not like you can’t afford it.
As you’re guilted into parting with more and more cash, you end up with barely a dime to your name, and they have all the riches and material goods they can shake a stick at.
It happens time and time again, and it does come from victims wanting to just make their narcissist happy, so they say yes.
The trouble is, with each yes comes less for you.
