No narcissist is ever going to admit that they’re a narcissist. Their acts are truly evil and can inflict tremendous pain on those who are on the receiving end.

Hold on a minute though…

…They aren’t even slightly sorry!

You can yell at them until you lose your voice, but they’re not going to see how abusive they are.

Even if you cry and cry – you can forget it.

You’re wasting your time, and here are 8 reasons why.

“Me? I’m So Lucky!”

When a narcissist first lays their eyes on you, they’re anything but evil. 

Think about it. We define evil as profoundly wrong or immoral. Bad. A person who acts knowingly terrible to other people with no conscience. 

Does that correlate to the narcissist when you initially meet? 

Nowhere close!

You feel lucky, right? You want to yell to the world how blessed you are to have found somebody so wonderful and attentive. They add shine to your day, they don’t take it away.

So there you are, getting to know them and you feel seen, and heard, and valued. 

When The Fun Wears Off

It doesn’t take long for that fun to wear off, but when it does, you’re left with a few choices.

Well, you could leave and walk away. Many victims choose to try and show the narcissist how their abusive acts cause harm and pain to them. 

What do you think happens when this is attempted? 

Why do you think narcissists can’t see what they do as evil?

8 Reasons The Narcissist Cannot See How Evil Their Abuse Is

1. Denial All The Way

Perhaps they do in some way. They know what they do because they can control when and where they are manipulative or unkind. 

When you were with your narcissist, did they yell and shout at you in front of your family? 

Probably not!

They want to paint on the nice guy act so nobody suspects them, and so they know what they’re doing. 

But to you, they’re going to deny it.

After all, how many abusers are going to hold their hands up and say, “You know, you’re right. I’m a terrible person.”

2. “It’s You!”

That one that gets me every time is when abusers raise their eyebrows when labeled evil. Then they point the finger at you and tell you it’s you with the problem.

You’re the nasty one!

You’re always bugging me and telling me how frustrated you are.

You bring my mood down all the time and you don’t even realize you’re doing it!

I can’t stand being around you. You’re like a constant grey cloud!

They want to see you painted as the villain, because it’s what suits their narrative.

They do this because they know you’re onto them and want to erode your accusations. 

3. “Stop Understanding Me…”

Ooh, now. Here’s an interesting one. 

Narcissists love it when you comply, right?

If they’re moody, you ask what’s wrong and fall over yourself, trying to improve it.

And they love it.

If they yell, they want to see you cry.

And they love it.

But if you start to get past their calculative ways, you’ll see that when you try to show them that their ways are actually quite evil, they will hate that you understand them.

Understanding them means you know they aren’t the person they claim to everybody to be.

The more you show them that you know, the less they will act like they know what you’re talking about… or in short…

…They will gaslight you.

4. In Their Own World

Narcissists live in their own world, and they expect everybody else to join them from theirs.

It doesn’t work that way, but that’s one reason they will never take accountability.

In their world, accountability doesn’t exist. You come to them and enter their environment, live how they live, and allow them to carry on as if the world owes them a huge favor. 

5. Lacking of Empathy Strikes Again

Why would they be bothered in the slightest that they are evil?

You telling them that they aren’t nice will probably make them laugh.

Get a grip.

Grow up.

Build some resilience!

It’s your fault that you’re so sensitive, and that will be how it’s framed to you. 

Narcissists famously lack any empathy, so understanding your sadness is going to be impossible.

Just like trying to understand how to be a better person – it’ll be something they won’t even entertain. 

6. The Victim: “I Try My Best”

When you speak up about how poorly you are treated, it can act as a catalyst for some victimization.

I try my best!

I work so hard!

Yes, sometimes I get a little tired and impatient, but I have so much on my mind.

I am always worrying about my health and how I am so stressed all the time.

You just know what to say to get under my skin!

Hold on a minute.

So… The narcissist is abusive and the victim gets blamed?

Well – this isn’t anything new. It happens all the time, and it’s how they get out of viewing their own bad behavior…

By blaming you!

7. They Don’t Care Enough

I’m sorry, was the narcissist supposed to care that you feel they are being ‘abusive.?’

Come on. Do them a favor and stop assuming they care about you enough to stop what they’re doing.

What’s worked for years with you and different people?

What they live for.

Where do they get their supply from?

How they make themselves feel better.

The way they choose to live and treat you will not change simply because you ask them or expect them to care.

You’re wasting an awful lot of time if you think the narcissist is ever going to care about you.

The only thing they care about is how much they can hurt you. 

8. There’s Always an Excuse

Excuses are not cool, and I think we all know that.

Narcissists tend to blow away the importance of honoring the truth in matters…

By making excuses for themselves!

None of which are acceptable, by the way.

There is zero excuse for abuse. 

I’m tired! You didn’t stop pestering me with questions!

I do too much for them already – they get nothing more from me!

Hearing their excuses go on and on, especially when you’ve heard them all before, is tiring.

There’s no reason for them to think of any reason as to why they abuse. 

They abuse. Period.

20 Things That Drive Narcissists Absolutely Nuts

We might all think Narcissists are the strong ones, the ones in control. But in reality, the Narcissist is busy maintaining his fake superior image.

They are fragile creatures inside, and they are afraid everyone will start to notice that.

The idea that they are exposed, being called out, or worse….being ignored drives them NUTS.

Here are 20 things that drive Narcissists Nuts.

#1 Being Called Out: 

Narcissists hate when their manipulative tactics or lies are challenged or exposed, as it clashes with the facade they present.

When you call out a narcissist on their manipulative tactics or lies, it strikes a nerve; they loathe having their carefully crafted facade disturbed.

This challenge to their perceived perfection and control can provoke anger or even rage. They’ll often react defensively, redirect blame, or play the victim.

It’s a desperate attempt to maintain their self-created illusion.

#2 Dealing with the Truth

They do not like dealing with the truth, especially when it challenges their false self-image or deceptive narratives.

Narcissists find it incredibly difficult to confront the truth, particularly if it shatters their falsely constructed self-image or undermines their deceitful narratives.

They can’t stand it when reality doesn’t align with their skewed perceptions.

#3 Fighting Back

It can be deeply unsettling when someone reacts firmly against their attempts to control, belittle, or undermine.

Just as they struggle with accepting the truth, narcissists also have a tough time when their attempts to control, belittle, or undermine are met with firm resistance.

It’s deeply unsettling for them when you stand your ground, refusing to be manipulated or put down. They’re used to being in control, and your defiance shakes their world, leaving them frustrated and, often, furious.

#4 Standing Up for Yourself

They are annoyed when others stand up for themselves, as it goes against their desire for dominance.

Pushing back against a narcissist’s dominance can throw them off balance, and they resent anyone brave enough to stand their ground.

Narcissists crave control, and when you assert yourself, you’re denying them that. They can’t stand it when their power is threatened like this.

#5 Ignoring and Blocking Them

Narcissists like to be the center of attention. Being ignored or blocked shakes their esteemed self-image.

While standing your ground can rattle them, denying them the spotlight by ignoring or blocking their efforts is another effective way to shake a narcissist’s self-image.

They crave attention, and they’re left unsettled when you don’t give it.

#6 Silence

Silent treatment can be very aggravating for a narcissist who thrives on the attention.

In the grand theater of human interaction, your silence can be the most disturbing noise for a narcissist. They thrive on attention, and your refusal to engage strips them of that spotlight. It’s their kryptonite, rendering them powerless.

Your silence doesn’t just annoy them, it shakes their self-esteem. So, when dealing with a narcissist, sometimes, silence is golden.

#7 Using Grey Rock Method

A technique involving minimal response to their behavior. They despise being completely deprived of emotional responses to feed on.

Just as your silence can be disarming, employing the Grey Rock Method—giving minimal response to a narcissist’s behavior—can be equally, if not more, infuriating for them.

They thrive on emotional reactions, and you’re robbing them of their power by denying them that.

You’re not feeding their need for drama.

You’re simply a grey rock: uninteresting, unresponsive, and utterly frustrating for them.

#8 Exposure of Who They Are

The fear of revealing their genuine, often insecure self beneath the superficial perfection can cause distress.

Narcissists dread exposing their true selves, hidden beneath layers of crafted perfection and grandiosity. They fear the unveiling of their genuine, often insecure self. This fear isn’t groundless.

It’s possible to be seen without the mask, the facade they’ve meticulously built. The thought of their imperfections being laid bare can distress them immensely. It’s a reality they can’t stand to face.

#9 Being Laughed At

It can trigger a sense of shame or humiliation, challenging their grandiose self-image.

Imagine the scene: you’re laughing at a narcissist, perhaps pointing out a small mistake they’ve made.

This can ignite a deep sense of shame or humiliation in them, directly challenging their inflated self-image. They’re not used to being the butt of a joke.

It’s a hard pill to swallow. It’s a direct hit to their ego and can make them livid.

#10 Knowledge Gap

It can be very irksome for them if they are out of the loop or others know something they don’t.

When you’re privy to information that a narcissist isn’t, it’s like a thorn in their side. They can’t stand being out of the loop. Knowledge gaps drive them crazy.

It’s not just about feeling left out, it’s about their need to be superior. If you know something they don’t, it challenges their self-perceived dominance, and that’s a bitter pill for them to swallow.

#11 Reputational Damage

Narcissists value their reputation and public image highly and any harm to it can drive them into a rage.

If there’s even a hint of damage to their meticulously crafted public image, it can send a narcissist spiraling into a fit of rage. They’ve spent years building and polishing their reputation, so any slight, real or perceived, feels like a personal affront.

They can’t tolerate being seen as anything less than perfect, so they’ll do anything to prevent their image from tarnishing.

#12 Losing Control

Any loss of control, especially over others’ lives, is deeply frustrating and threatening to them.

Just as a narcissist can’t stand the thought of a tarnished reputation, losing control, particularly over others’ lives, deeply unnerves them. You’ll find them scrambling to regain their power, their self-worth attached to the puppeteer’s strings.

They feel threatened and cornered. Any hint of independence from you is met with manipulation, tantrums, or cold dismissal. It’s their desperate bid to remain at the helm, in control.

#13 Denial

Saying “No” to a narcissist can spark extreme anger as they’re not used to being denied what they want.

Denying a narcissist something they want isn’t just a simple ‘no’ for them; it’s an insult to their entitlement, which often triggers an extreme reaction. This ‘no’ sparks an anger they can’t easily quell, because they’re unaccustomed to denial.

#14 Refusing to Play Along

Not feeding into their manipulation games can provoke their ire.

When you refuse to participate in a narcissist’s web of manipulation, their frustration often manifests as anger and hostility. They’re used to having control and playing mind games.

But standing your ground, not feeding into their tactics, truly irks them. It disrupts their power dynamics, forcing them to face an uncomfortable reality: they can’t always get their way.

#15 Losing

They have a deep need always to win. Losing, whether in work, social scenarios, or relationships, can frustrate them.

Narcissists are exceedingly competitive, and a loss in any area of life, whether professional or personal, can send them into frustration and resentment. They’re driven by a need always to win. When they don’t, it’s not just a setback, but a personal affront.

This extreme reaction to losing can lead to strained relationships and workplace conflicts as they struggle to regain control.

#16 Cutting Off Contact

Going ‘no contact’ deprives them of the control and attention they seek, driving them into a frenzy.

Have you ever considered what happens to a narcissist when you cut off all contact?

It drives them absolutely nuts. Narcissists thrive on control and attention; without it, they’re sent into a tailspin.

Going ‘no contact’ strips them of their power, leaving them scrambling for a way to regain it.

It’s a simple yet effective way to kick them off their self-built pedestal.

#17 Independent Thoughts and Opinions

Narcissists strongly dislike when others show autonomy, contradicting their views or decisions.

Exerting your independence and voicing your thoughts and opinions can truly rattle a narcissist’s cage. They can’t stand it when you show autonomy, contradicting their views or decisions. It’s like a direct blow to their inflated ego, leaving them feeling threatened.

#18 Seeing Others’ Success

Other people’s success, especially when surpassing their own, provokes envy and resentment.

When you shine brighter than them, particularly in areas they value, narcissists can’t help but feel a twinge of envy and resentment. Your success, especially if it surpasses their own, drives them up the wall.

It’s a blow to their inflated self-image, triggering feelings of inadequacy. They’re left grappling with bitterness, struggling to accept that someone else is outshining them.

#19 Displaying Empathy

They can’t understand or appreciate empathetic behavior, often viewing it as a weakness.

Just as your success irks them, showing empathy – a trait they can neither understand nor appreciate – is another thing that drives narcissists up the wall. They view it as a sign of weakness, not strength.

This inability to comprehend empathy often leads to frustration and confusion. So, when you’re kind and understanding, you’re not just being good. You’re also getting under a narcissist’s skin.

#20 Feeling Inferior

Anything that makes them feel less superior or important can spark intense negative reactions.

Narcissists often struggle intensely with feelings of inferiority, and anything that suggests they’re less superior or important can trigger extreme negative reactions. They’ll interpret this as a clear sign of disrespect if you slight or overlook them.

They can’t stand being outshone or feeling second best. Always needing to be the center of attention, they’ll overreact if they sense they’re not.