So you’re waiting on some honesty from the narcissist…?
Can I ask, how long exactly have you been waiting?
If I can be honest myself, you’ll be waiting a lifetime, and even then, it’ll neer happen.
So, if you want to see a narcissist lie live in action, you only have to ask them one of the following eight questions. I’m offering them to you because I know those questions revolve around you wanting answers or reassurance.
You aren’t going to get it.
The Value of Honesty
It’s priceless, right? I mean, part of me wants to place a value on honesty, but I can’t. There isn’t a number that would come close to ticking that box, so I’m going to say – honesty is priceless.
Without honesty, what are any of us? In relationships, we all want transparency that extends their longevity.
Although the truth can sometimes hurt, it’s better to know what’s really going on than have it covered up.
Honesty ignites trust, which tightens bonds. You can’t tell a narcissist that though, because all they will do is abuse it, like they abuse everything else.
Living With a Liar
There’s nothing easy or nice about living with somebody who cannot offer you an ounce of honesty.
And I don’t want you to get this twisted – because even when they seem as though they’re being honest – they’re also lying. You know the times I mean, don’t you?
You look awful.
Do you seriously think you’re going to start a cake business? Your cakes are so dry!
Why are you always so impossible?
It’s hard to step out of the equation long enough to realize that these kinds of criticisms you grow to expect from a narcissist aren’t real – but I’m here to tell you that they really aren’t.
They’re sent to you with such gusto and vigor that they sound like they’re really meant, though.
That’s the aim of the narcissist!
So the next time you hear anything that tries to pull or drag you down, remember how much of a lie they are, and how
Security You’re Never Going to Get
When you are asking the narcissist a question – or anybody else for that matter – you automatically assume you’ll get an honest answer.
It stands to reason that the honesty you expect will offer a level of security that sustains your relationship—but it’s never that easy.
8 Questions Narcissists Can’t Honestly Answer
So, let’s get to those burning questions you might have for the narcissist – and how they dodge each one like it was a bullet.
#1 “Do You Love Me?”
Ouch.
Are you ready for all the words in the world to come firing at you?
Expect the world’s biggest word salads, followed by the confusing look on your face that reads, “I actually didn’t even get a straight answer from you.”
What kind of a question is that? Why are you suddenly asking me how I feel about you? Is it not obvious?
Oh, I see. I guess you’re feeling a little insecure today. I can’t keep reassuring you of how I feel if you’re going to ask me again the next day or week.
I guess you need me to write it down for you, would that be easier?
Why are you so insecure? Why do you keep needing my approval?
All those questions could be pointed back at the narcissist.
You need approval and reassurance because they’ve taken away your self-esteem.
You’d like to know if they love you because just yesterday they acted like you didn’t even exist. You’re questioning their feelings because they blow so hot and cold.
And suddenly your question is your problem?
The reason they won’t give you an honest answer is because no, they don’t love you. They love the idea of you loving them, and they love your supply, but they don’t love you.
Instead of being honest, they project.
And you end up feeling bad about it.
#2 “Why Do You Blow So Hot and Cold?”
If you get anywhere with this question – let me know! Narcissists will see your question hurtling toward them and immediately respond with defense.
Hot and cold? What do you mean? I try my best to please you, and it’s never good enough!
I’ve had a long day – am I not allowed to be annoyed?
You know the kinds of responses you’ll get – perhaps you have received them yourself!
They aren’t going to be honest and tell you that it’s all part of their grand scheme.
#3 “What Did I Do Wrong?”
… Narcissists cannot answer this because, in reality, you’ve done nothing wrong!
They like to think you do because they like to control your emotions, especially when you feel on edge.
It gives them an enormous sense of superiority – and you’ll never take that away from them.
#4 “What Do You Like Best About Yourself?”
Incoming awkwardness!
As much as narcissists claim to love themselves, they don’t. Their hatred for who they really are is so intense that you’ll never get them to answer what they actually like about themselves.
Expect a lot of stuttering and bumbling as they try to give you an answer.
#5 “Are You Happy For Me?”
Cue the gritted teeth as they almost angrily reply with a very begrudging yes.
Narcissists are never happy for anybody else unless that person is suffering and in pain. If something wonderful has happened to you, you’ll be the envy of the narcissist and they will want revenge for you being the center of everybody else’s attention.
#6 “Do You Promise To Always Look After Me?”
Oh no. This one cuts deep, because it’s a really weighted question that they have to fulfill.
But they don’t. Even though they say they will.
It’s all lies, known as future faking.
The narcissist has no intention of looking after you. They are number one, and they’re all that matters.
#7 “Will You Be On Time?”
Sure!
And you wait.
And wait.
And wait.
Where are they?
When they finally arrive, you daren’t be annoyed because they will override your frustration with their own plus some.
You’re lucky they even turned up at all! They had so many other choices that were better than this!…
#8 “Why Are You Being Quiet?”
I’m being quiet because I know it gets to you, and when it gets to you, you’ll start asking me if you love me.
This will make me feel important, which I have to feel every day; otherwise, my world will implode.
I like to watch you squirm, especially if you’ve had a good day, because then your happiness will fade and I’ll have you right where I want you.
Well – in an ideal world – narcissists will be honest and say all of that, but…
Instead, you’ll probably be blamed for something you didn’t do or continued to be ignored.
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