Narcissists, above all else, are creepy people. I don’t say that lightly, in fact, I say it to warn you of exactly what they’re capable of when you aren’t looking.
But when you are looking, when you’re lying awake at night unable to sleep,
I want you to be aware of how it’s ninety-eight percent likely to be due to the narcissist keeping you from sleeping.
Here are 8 creepy things they do to make that happen.
Sleep is vital!
You don’t need me to tell you that, but sometimes a reminder as to how your life should look is pretty important.
#1 Flip the emotional switch
When you’ve had a great day and are about ready to go curl up in bed and sleep all night, you are in for a rude awakening.
The rough ride to emotional conflict will be quick as the narcissist flips the switch in seconds.
Going from an easy, some might even say pleasant evening, their mask will drop, and their smile will fade.
You will suddenly witness a majorly different shift, as they turn their rage or silence onto you.
Whatever that switch may look like, it won’t be friendly or warm in any way, and that’s enough to provoke any victim’s nervous system into overdrive.
You want to ask what’s wrong, and you worry that you said or did something terrible in order for this switch to have taken place.
It’s a hard time, as right before you should be at your most relaxed, you are at your most emotionally heightened.
#2 Ask you questions about your day right before bed
It’s typical of the narcissist to want to ask you a thousand questions right before you close your eyes at night.
They’ve been quiet all day, even when you both got home from work, and as soon as you flick your nightlamp off, they want to know everything about your day.
This keen interest is all for show though, as they want to pain you by keeping you from sleeping.
Far be it from them to tell you that though, instead they feign interest, and throw the finger of blame at you if you so much as hint that this is a problem.
So you’re stuck, or so it seems. Answering their questions can take you deep into the night, and that’s exactly why they’re asking you. To keep you tired, and keep you from your slumber.
#3 Read with the light on
Why can’t they just go somewhere else and read, right?
But nope! They lay right next to you, light on, reading their book, making a song and dance every time they turn a page, laughing along to what they’re reading, and fidgeting in bed while they ‘get comfortable again.’
It’s all a ploy to disturb you. Each time you drift off, they do something that awakens you all over again.
It’s not funny, and again, their reading can go on for hours. When you ask them to shift rooms, they refuse.
Sometimes even you end up on the couch to try to get peace, but by then you’re wide awake and feeling that will be for the entire night.
Don’t you think it’s creepy that you have to lay next to somebody who is purposely doing this to you, just to get to you? Because to me, it’s just not right.
#4 Tell you how unwell they feel
What a time to let you know that they have a headache, or a sore throat, or an upset stomach.
Of course, there aren’t any time boundaries with a narcissist. 12am is a s good as 12pm, and they will not worry about keeping you up.
I don’t feel good.
What do you think I ate?
I feel so unwell.
I hate feeling like this.
I can’t stand it.
Is there anything that can help me?
Yeah, I have an idea. Close your mouth and go to sleep!
Narcissists use this opportunity to see what their victim comes up with.
They will want to jump up and help, be a good listener; do anything the narcissist wants if it means they’re thanked and appreciated for it.
But what about you? What do you need to do tomorrow that you aren’t resting for?
According to the narcissist, that does not matter.
#5 Test your loyalty
Evolving from point #4, narcissists will want to test your loyalty by keeping you up at night, and they have a whole long list of ways to do that!
I don’t think my boss likes me. I try so hard.
Will you help me with this project I’m trying to get started? I want to tell you all about it.
I forgot to bring up a glass of water, will you grab it for me? I am so tired.
I want to talk to you about your sister. I really feel she is coming between us. Can we talk about it?
Oh, anything goes with these people, and it’s up to you to affirm your boundaries and say, “I hear you. We will talk in the morning because I want to get some sleep.”
This isn’t an unreasonable request.
#6 Cry
When all else fails, the tears come out. And I do appreciate it, there are so many genuine reasons why a person may be so upset that they cry, but narcissists are famous for putting it on to give you a show…
…A show they want to be the center character of. Crying will bring out the most caring, concerned side of you. The side that wants to help, listen, understand and support.
Before you know it, time has flown by at its 3am and you’ve not got so much as a blink of sleep yet.
And crying? The crying probably turned into a conversation, that probably turned into physical intimacy.
You’re thinking what a wonderful night it was, while they got their own way, from start to finish.
#7 Pretend they’ve lost something important
Please help me find it, I really need it for tomorrow.
Great. So you’re up way past bedtime pulling out the couch cushions looking for a key that I can promise you has either been in their pocket all along, or it doesn’t exist at all.
But you know what’s interesting?
You’re up helping them, and they know you’re wasting your time, but they enjoy watching you anyway.
#8 Wake you up on purpose
What was that noise?
Did you lock the garage?
Did you leave the porch light on?
You were snoring! (You weren’t…)
Any little thing the narcissist can find to wake you up and get your heart racing from the moment you open your eyes, they will try.
It’s all done as a ploy to disturb and fracture your sleep. Heaven forbid you are graced with just one night of peace.
Your tiredness can become a weakness over time, and the narcissist knows it.
A tired person can easily become confused; how convenient.
A tired person can become emotional and react easily; how convenient.
Just a few things to remember the next time you’re wide awake with them at 1am.
