Have you ever tried calling out a narcissist and ended up feeling like you were the crazy one? 

Yeah, me too. 

Narcissists have a sneaky bag of tricks they pull the moment you dare to expose them, and believe me, it’s pure BS. 

I want to break down the 8 most ridiculous things they do when you call them out and they feel confronted.

If you’ve ever walked away from narcissistic conflict wondering what just happened, you need to read this. 

Let’s expose them together!

#1 They call you the narcissist the second you call them out

The worst thing about calling a narcissist out is them throwing it back in your face before you can even pause to take a breath.

It’s all in the delivery, and how they see your comments as ammunition or an excuse to start a fight. 

The defensive nature of the narcissist probably won’t surprise you as you mutter any word that resembles calling them out.

They will hate you for it, and look for any excuse to point the blame away from them. You’re there, and it works. 

What are you talking about? 

Are you even aware of how toxic you are being right now?

Oh, so I’m the bad guy?!

You are being abusive right now and you don’t even see it!

It’ll fly your way quicker than dust in the wind, and I need you to know what total bullshit this is.

Don’t buy it. Don’t believe it, even though they will try their damndest to convince you. 

#2 They cause arguments on Holidays and birthdays

Whenever anything remotely special rolls around, you can bet the narcissist will do all they can to ruin it. 

They won’t meet your normal expectations.

They won’t be happy.

They won’t enjoy themselves.

They won’t feel happy in your light if it’s your big day.

They will kick up a fuss.

They will argue.

They will cause emotional friction.

They will look for any opportunity to make you miserable. 

All because it’s a special occasion that you’ve been building up to, and looking forward to.

Now you get to see the side of them unwilling to allow the free flow of happy memories being created.

They’d prefer instead to hook negativity on every past event so you learn to dread anything good in your life.

Mostly, it teaches you to:

• Not make a big deal of your birthday
• Not want to celebrate
• Not see friends or family
• Not cherish the moments that we all live for

#3 They always walk ahead of you

Whenever I tell people this one, I always get a, “Yes! This!” moment from them.

Of course, it makes sense for the narcissist to stride forward, the all important entity, while you drag on behind, always seen second, and thought of as the same in the league of society. 

We all know what bullshit this is, but let me state something if it isn’t already obvious enough:

Being in a relationship is about being equal. Being comfortable enough to walk in first, or second, and not even considering the fact that you’re first or second. 

It’s pretty weird that all narcissists feel they have to assert themselves in this sad way, but here we are, making a whole other topic about their toxic games. 

#4 They act kind and helpful to everybody else but you

Calling a narcissist out always gives life to the potential that you could extend that news to people you know.

What does that mean for the narcissist? It means they’re in a spot of bother!

What are their choices? They’ve got to prove to everybody that they’re a really good person. So anything you say looks like a stark contrast to what others view, witness and experience. 

It’s the oldest trick in the book, but ultimately this move is designed to make you look like a liar. 

Their kind and helpful ways are truly fake, but as far as everybody else is concerned, this is the real version they’re getting, and anything you say to the contrary is going to make you look like you’re in it for the drama.

#5 They never give you a straight answer

When you’re calling a narcissist out, the first thing you want to do is watch them for how they respond.

There will never be a straight up yes or no. Why would there be?

Anything this direct will give way to a host of accountabilities that will leave them looking like the bad guy, which they will do everything in their powers to avoid.

Imagine any narcissist holding their hands up and saying, “You’re right. I am a narcissist. I am a terrible person, and I am sorry for putting you through all of this.”

Yeah, right!

If you’re looking for honesty, you’re still not going to get it here, sorry!

#6 You’re to blame for all their problems

Of course, it all has to be you! It can’t possibly be that they act and speak in terrible ways that they’re fully in control of!

My goodness, whatever next…?

The problem only really starts when victims believe this to be true. They spend their whole lives apologizing for things they haven’t done, but this is exactly what the narcissist wants.

If the spotlight is on you, then they’re left to their own devices in the dark. 

And that is a place you really don’t want them to be lingering, which is why you call them out, right?

#7 They don’t say sorry, they go silent

Sorry is far too much of an easy word to say when the alternative would just be to go silent and ignore everything that’s going on.

In fact, it isn’t beyond a narcissist to hold their hands up and say, “This has nothing to do with me.”

What a dumb thing to do, because in fact, their silence is what harbors where exactly the fault lies. 

What you deserve is a proper apology, and when you don’t get it, it can trick your mind into believing that there is no apology needed.

That’s not true, and you are overdue it.

#8 They lie … about everything

If I could change the middle name of every narcissist to ‘liar’, I think the world would be a much better place to live.

It would certainly help us pull out the narcissists from the emotionally healthy of us, wouldn’t it?

Narcissists have zero conscience. If they have an opportunity to lie, they will lie.

There’s no care about what you think, just about how they can worm their way out of the latest scenario, preferably to make themselves look like the innocent people they’re not. 

When you call them out, they will throw a dozen lies back into your face without so much as a bat of an eye. 

Be careful of that. It will work you up into a stupor that you simply cannot pull away from easily.

You want justice. You want the truth. Instead, you get more and more untruths. 

It’s better to remember why they’re doing it – because they’re scared. They fear your awakening.

What Do Narcissists Fear the Most?

The 20 Biggest Fears Of Narcissists

They don’t look like they fear anything, do they?

Narcissists really do walk around acting as if they are perfect. If you were to ask them what they’re scared of, they’d laugh in your face and tell you to move out of their way.

Well, I’m here to tell you the truth.

Narcissists are petrified of more than you have ever known…

…Until now.

Here, I unlock the 20 biggest fears of narcissists, so you don’t need to embarrass them by asking them what they’re scared of ever again.

When The Narcissist Can’t Sleep At Night

Tick, tock, tick, tock,

3am?!

What’s keeping the narcissist up at night?

It’s likely to be thinking about their fears, as believe it or not, they cross their minds from time to time. 

Those fears remain buried under the guise of the charmer – the person everybody sees when they initially speak to the narcissist. 

Well, I’ve got my shovel, and I am about to dig each fear up.

#1 It’s Expose Time! 

Imagine the look of terror on the narcissist’s face when you expose them. It’ll be brief, sure. If you blink, you miss it.

Because soon enough – that fear will convert into rage – an emotion you’re probably much more familiar with when you think about the narcissist in your life. 

Before that rage, that fear will be evident. The idea of you telling everybody the true character of the narcissist fills them with an impalpable dread. 

It all starts to crumble.

They’ve nowhere to hide, and they cannot fool everybody anymore. At least some people will believe you, and that’s all you’d need to expose them fully. 

So yes – it keeps the narcissist up at night to think you could do such a thing, knowing as soon you do so, their power diminishes. 

#2 Control: Officially Lost

Get ready for the narcissist’s foundation to shake, rattle and roll.

Losing control is last on their list of ideals, but it’s a stark possibility when the victim turns to victor.

Seeing through the narcissism to a person who, underneath it all, is just a small-minded, afraid nobody, makes them more worried than you could imagine. 

If that control goes – what do they have?!

#3 The Truth is Feared

What is the truth?

We all know, don’t we?

We’re dealing with a person, or several people if you’re really unlucky, who aren’t who they say they are.

There is a truth behind the lies, and behind that is the ongoing fear from the narcissist that their lies will be exposed. 

Believe me when I say that the narcissist will do what it takes to silence their victims, but that doesn’t mean the truth will never prevail.

#4 The Ordinary 

Ordinary means what to you? For me, it’s just an average day, with nothing standing out. No one big moment.

Narcissists hate not standing out. They always want to be the center of attention, and if they’re seen as normal, or ordinary, that will be the biggest threat – and fear – to their grandiose personality. 

#5 Being Alone

Imagine having nobody to manipulate. When they need to suck the life out of another – there’s not a soul available. 

Narcissists need people around not just to do this with, but also, those people are needed to influence. 

The absence of others is the absence of validation and supply, and without a push from others for attention, the narcissist won’t fully know how to function.

They fear being alone for that very reason.

#6 Bye Bye, Attention

Invisibility is the true enemy of the narcissist. They need to be the honey, while the bees buzz around them constantly.

Without that noise, there is silence.

And in silence, there will be zero attention.

#7 Others… Happy… Really?

No single soul on the planet has the right to be happy (according to the narcissist). If you’re so happy, what could you possibly be so happy about? 

How dare you!

Your smile is enough to have it wiped right off your face, and the narcissist is going to love doing so.

Passing judgment. Criticizing you. Bringing you down. Triggering you. Disappointing you. Giving you the silent treatment and yelling at you. Whatever it takes. Why? 

Simple! They fear that your happiness will create this brand new version of you that will tolerate the narcissist just that little bit less. 

#8 How Victims Self-Love

Listen, if you’re loving yourself, then you are loving the narcissist less. It’s great for you – and that’s exactly why it isn’t good for them. 

The fear that comes from you loving yourself is that you will decide you’re too good for them – and leave. 

#9 Financial Independence

You’ve got your money sorted, you earn a large buck or two, and there’s nothing they can do about it.

Seeing you take care of your finances so well, there’s little to no chance of them taking it all away from you – leaving you dependent on them. 

Big fear!

#10 “So What?”

Ah, so you’re indifferent, are you?

That’s a big ache in the gut for the narcissist, who thrives on your reactions. If you don’t have any ones to give, consider yourself immune to the narcissist…

…New narcissist fear unlocked!

#11 Brave Enough To Be Accountable

Accountability is a huge fear of the narcissist, who usually ensures that what they’re doing will never be found out.

They don’t want to own up to any wrongdoing – so you can safely tick this as a huge fear of theirs. 

#12 Losing to Legality

If you want to really send shivers down the narcissist’s spine – threaten them with legal action.

It’s the epitome of doing wrong for all to see as well – which only adds to their nightmare!

#13 New Victims: Gone

Just when they thought they had a good victim in you – you up and leave.

Their plans turn to dust, and they become vulnerable all over again, with no supply!

#14 Strong? Good!

Your strength kills narcissists. It acts as such a strong repellent that you would be hard pushed to see any narcissist stick around.

They’re scared of you! What narcissist wants to admit that they’re scared of somebody?!

#15 Being Alone

You can forgive babies for not wanting to be alone – but grown adults? This isn’t about normal loneliness that can really affect people – this is the fear of having no life to suck out of anybody. 

#16 Mirror Mirror On The Wall

Don’t look into it if you’re a narcissist, because we all know – including you – that you are not the fairest of them all!

The biggest fear of a narcissist is doing so, and seeing that ugliness stare back at them. 

#17 “No Thanks, Bye”

Rejection.

Ouch.

A narcissist experienced enough of this as a child, and it is a huge trigger for them; a reminder that they aren’t good enough for somebody. 

#18 Criticism

What do you mean they aren’t perfect?

You cannot tell a narcissist that they have faults! That’s their job to make you feel shitty – not the other way around!

#19 Partners In The Know

Knowing who the narcissist really is means the power shifts from them, to you. 

What does that mean for you? Well, you’re likely to be a person who wants to do bad with their power, but it does mean you no longer get played by them.

They fear this – they fear you having an education in narcissism. You have the power to expose and all them out.

A powerless narcissist is not a happy narcissist. 

#20 Getting Over: Moving On

If you’ve gotten over a narcissist and moved on – you’ve done what they thought you’d never do.

Always expecting you to be around to use and abuse, you’ve finally made your way out of it.

While that’s a moment for real pride, it’s a moment of fear for them.

What do they do now?