It’s your birthday! Many happy returns for the day. Did you get any nice gifts? Did all the people who matter wish you a great big Happy Birthday?
That’s where I’ll stop you. I know the narcissist will think they wished you good vibes for your big day, but let’s break it down a little.
They did it in such a bizarre way that you aren’t even sure whether to laugh or cry.
But hey, I think that feeling pretty much sums up life with a narcissist, don’t you? Let’s look at 8 bizarre ways narcissists wish you a Happy Birthday.
#1 Extravagant announcements
You’ll hear it on the radio, you’ll see the billboard or the road sign they designed and put up that they know you’ll drive by in the morning.
Some narcissists use those ‘hire a celebrity for a message’ sites and post it onto their socials while tagging you.
The message of your birthday becomes somewhat lost when they do this. Instead, it becomes a display of extravagance.
Wow, you did that for her!
That’s so cool of you!
How did you even manage to do it?
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That must have taken so much time!
That must have cost a fortune!
But wait a minute, where are your birthday wishes? Because of this bold move, the narcissist is the one who gets all the attention.
It hardly seems fair, but it does seem pretty typical of them to reroute your day and make it all about them.
#2 Over the top locally delivered flowers
I’ve had dozens of victims of narcissistic abuse recount their stories of this to me over the years. It seems a little weird, but think about this for a moment.
When you’ve got a narcissist who wants to wish you a happy birthday, they’re going to want to use that moment to show people how lovely they are.
Living locally and seeing the same faces on a daily basis means your name can get out there for any reason. So why not make it a great reason?
Heading to the local florist and chatting kindly and sweetly to the owner is exactly the kind of trick the narcissist will pull.
Don’t even put it past them to leave business cards on the counter, or try to become friends with the people who work there.
They will want the best, biggest and most expensive bunch of flowers that are possible to purchase, and boy will they make it known that you’re worth every dime.
You’re so sweet.
What a lovely message.
You’ve paid for my rent for the whole week!
Laugh, laugh, laugh….
What a way to get yourself a good reputation.
#3 Putting the worst photo of you up on social media and tagging you in it
Classic narcissistic move! If a terrible or unflattering photo of you exists, it’s going to go online in what they call ‘jest.’
I want you to even be prepared for them to sneak a photo of you sleeping on the morning of your big day, without a hint of make up or dignity.
Suddenly, people will laugh-react to it and unknowingly buy into the cruel attempt to show you up and make your day start off with tears and embarrassment.
After that, where does it go from there? You’ll of course feel like it’s been ruined, and the narcissist will roll their eyes and tell you how sensitive you are.
It was just a joke.
No. No it wasn’t. It was planned and they knew exactly how you’d feel about it.
Some birthday, huh?
#4 A short, cold text last thing at night
Your big day consists of you intermittently checking your phone. It stops you from fully enjoying your day, as you’re waiting for that one text that will mean the world to you.
You want the narcissist to remember and acknowledge your day, but seeing as that means them thinking of somebody else for once, it’s likely to only happen last thing at night, if at all.
When it does come through, you feel good. They remembered. But the bizarre thing is, they knew all day. They just wanted to keep you hanging.
This is classical narcissistic behavior, and is only meant for you to believe that you’re an afterthought.
But you’re not. You’re the main character in your life, and you’re being treated like an extra.
#5 Texting the day after, or the day before
Oops, my bad!
I am just so busy and stressed I totally forgot the day!
Oh! I had you down as the 8th on my calendar!
Whatever the excuse for getting your birthday date wrong, the narcissist will make it all about them and how they tried to mean well.
That would be fine if it were genuine, but as that isn’t the kind of word synonymous with narcissistic personality disorder, I think we can safely rule that out as being the reason.
#6 Spending so much money on something you hate
It’s the thought that counts, right? Yes, some of the time. When a person gifts you something, you appreciate it, even if it’s not what you wanted or like.
Narcissists will purposely buy you very expensive things they know you will hate just because they want you to look expensive, or to just ‘be grateful for what you get.’
And you can’t say it’s not your style because then you are told you don’t appreciate them or their gestures.
It’s bizarre to me that they can’t get you gifts that align with who you are, not who they want you to be.
#7 Holding a huge party for you then punishing you for it
The narcissist can make it all about you if it means they get some kind of recognition for it.
Holding a huge party for you is a great way to do that. Making you look and feel like a million dollars for the night so everyone thinks how lucky you are to have somebody so thoughtful.
Except, you know the truth.
And to top it all off at the end of the night when that last person has left, the mask slips off immediately and they give you the silent treatment. Consider it a punishment for having it all about you.
You ask what’s wrong, and they just shrug and make some excuse that you didn’t talk to them or thank them enough in public.
#8 Taking you out for the day doing something only they like
Sure! You want to head out for the day! You’d better be prepared to do something that only interests the narcissist!
You’re going to eat where they like or forever hear complaints that the food isn’t right.
You’ll do the activity, or watch the movie they want to see because they’ve hyped it up to you.
And you won’t want to rock the boat, I mean, it’s nice to see the narcissist happy, and you’ll want to extend that for as long as you can.
So you do. And it turns out to just be a day for them and not you. Which doesn’t make any sense, does it? But that’s narcissists for you!
