One of the weirdest hobbies of a narcissist is that they collect things you’d never even dream of.
Let me be the first to tell you that these items are not for public viewing.
That’s why I wanted to raise the red flag in here today so that you can spot them, instead of being oblivious.
The dangers a narcissist brings to the table when they collect what they collect usually involves you, the innocent one. They affect you. People you know. People you care about.
But what strange things do I mean?
You Might Not Know it, But…
Narcissists really are some of the strangest people on the planet. If you think they can’t collect things that should ring alarm bells, you’re mistaken.
They absolutely do.
And just because, like the most overt psychopath, it isn’t fingernails or teeth, that doesn’t mean they’re out of the red flag zone.
Red flags are often talked about, but rarely really studied, and I want to try to offer you some knowledge on them so you can start looking around you for any potential ones.
What is a Red Flag?
When you go to the beach and the riptide is particularly strong, or if the water isn’t safe to swim in due to sharks or sewage, you’re going to see red flags.
They’re warning signs to tell you to stay away, and people do it because, well, they don’t want to get hurt or sick, or worse.
Unfortunately, narcissists don’t enter your life surrounded by people waving red flags. If they did, you’d stay away, right?
Instead, they make excuses for behaviors or habits that are red flags.
They invite you into their little false world of charm, and hide them out of sight and mind.
Once you’ve fallen for them, those red flags will begin to slowly become more obvious to you.
Status Symbols
Everything has to be the best.
They love expensive things, and flashing their money around so everybody can see just how successful they are.
They collect shiny objects that people will respond to with “oohs” and “aahs.”
Wow, where did you get that?
That’s a one of a kind!
That must have cost a fortune!
So on and so on.
For the most part, it’s okay to take pride in something you’ve earned, but this is another level.
This is crass. And They take pride in that!
Trophies from Exes
Anything from gifts their exes bought them, to hairbrushes collected in the house, to garments of clothing, to furniture, to books: they will all be on display.
Narcissists like to use them like trophies around their house to show people they had a past, and that their exes meant something to them.
Really, I mean, who cares?
It’s actually weird that you have an old Friends T-shirt that doesn’t fit you hanging up in your wardrobe.
Social Media Followers/Any Achievement
Wow, look how many followers they have. They must be so well liked!
Nope…
They just add any old person and count it as another number.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Did I tell you about the time I…?
Well, as you asked, I actually have a degree in…
Oh, I climbed that mountain before. It’s actually pretty easy.
Oh, it’s nothing. Just another day for me.
Really.
Well aren’t you just the best…
These are so similar in terms of, “I want as much as I can get so I can show it all off to the world.”
…*waves red flag.*
Tokens of Evidence From The Past
I heard of a narcissist who held onto a letter from the 70s from his sister when she wrote and asked to borrow some money.
It was a genuine letter, and she was in a real troubled spot. It wasn’t a lot of money, and the promise to repay it was just as genuine as the letter itself.
This person kept the letter. He refused her offer of paying it back, and gave her the money. All those years later – decades – he still used it to show people.
Look. She asked me to borrow money, and never paid it back.
I’ve always had to be the one to save the day.
She always did need me.
How crazy is that? And it’s a true story, too. This is what they do.
They hold everything against you, using evidence to boost their ‘innocence.’
Selfies
Let me just scroll through my phone’s gallery and look at all the heavily filtered and gorgeous photos I have taken of myself.
Which one do I like the best?
I love that angle on me!
You’ll only see these kinds of photos when the narcissist is trying to find a photo to show you and they appear.
It’s pretty creepy if you’ve ever had to stand there and smile politely while you’re both aware you’re looking at the worst kinds of photos known to man.
And of course, they’re red flags. Why would anybody spend so much time perfecting the way they look unless they wanted to give everybody else the impression that they’re perfect photo is a reflection of their perfect image?
Sing it with me:
Because they’re a narcissist!
Lists of People They Hate
Don’t be surprised if narcissists carry literal little black books with them wherever they go.
If you annoy, insult, or mock them, you’re going to the next blank page inside!
I know it sounds crazy, but narcissists spend so much of their focus, time and energy thinking about people they hate. They pretend not to, of course.
They love to think you think they’re these carefree types. They will say they live by the rules of not caring what people think of them, but in reality, they care a great deal.
If you rock their world, you’re never going to be forgotten for it. The grudges are real, people, and they last a lifetime.
Nevermind the fact that they can make mistake after mistake, and expert your constant forgiveness, right?!
Excuses
Narcissists are nothing without excuses. I mean nothing.
I was having a bad day.
Work is busy at the moment.
I’m just feeling stressed, I didn’t mean it.
It wasn’t me.
It was somebody else.
It was you.
I have no idea what you’re talking about.
I’m just not feeling well, give me a break.
I don’t think you’re understanding me, and that’s the problem.
I could go on and on, but I’m not going to, because you get the idea.
I don’t think narcissists could survive without launching an attack of excuses out into the world when they need to.
But what kind of message does that send to you, the observer?
If you have the self-esteem and the ability to reflect and be introspective about your mistakes, why would you need an excuse at all?
Surely, it’s much healthier to hold your hands up, say when you make an error, and try to authentically fix it, and anybody you’ve hurt, too.
Wanting to make a situation better or right again calls upon your reluctance to leave emotional mess wherever you go.
A red flag flies where narcissists would prefer to offload blame onto literally anything else rather than be honest and open.
