They say never mess with the ego of the narcissist or you will end up getting your fingers burned.
What if that weren’t true? What if there were ways you could stand up for yourself and what you believe in, even if that means denting their pride along the way?
And to ensure the narcissist will never forget it? Even better!
Here are 7 ways to hurt the narcissist’s ego, and trust me, each and every one of them has been proven to work.
The ego crusher!
One thing a narcissist never sees coming are the people who are out to crush their ego. They’re always looking for the type of person who will stroke it, not strike it.
To crush their ego is to let them know that you mean business, and that their ego was far too big in the first place.
These are the kinds of people who live to control and manipulate others to the point where they cause mental breakdowns and trauma that can last for decades.
Their ego tells them they have every right to do that.
Until now.
#1 Criticize them
First off, give a little back of what they give you each and every day. I kid you not, there isn’t a day you will live where the narcissist in your life won’t slip in a comment that cuts you down in some way.
For you, it will become the norm, but it shouldn’t. Instead, it should be the biggest warning to you that you’re with the wrong person.
So give it back. Tell them that they’re not very good at something, or criticize a part of their character that you know will crumble a little bit of their egotistical empire.
The narcissist will never forget that you did this, even though they dish out exactly the same to you far more often. A taste of their own medicine will prove just how bitter it actually is.
#2 Laugh at their expense
If they trip over, laugh. If they try to undo that jam jar they’re struggling with and can’t, give a little joke that they aren’t as strong as they thought they were.
Listen, there’s no harm in dishing out what they love to dish out to others. If they can’t handle it, maybe they should think twice about how they treat you all.
What you’re doing is showing them that they’re not the perfect person they paint themselves to be.
It’s a painful reminder for the kind of people who are really paranoid about their image and appearing perfect, so it’s a good way of proving that you can do what they do.
#3 Forget their birthday
This one is a biggie, but it’s no doubt going to dent the ego of a narcissist to the point where they will struggle to forget about it.
Their birthdays are usually huge events, although they try hard to play them down because they don’t actually feel that comfortable celebrating themselves.
This is a great reminder that narcissists everywhere truly hate themselves, and birthdays are a hard time for them.
That being said, they will never forgive you or forget it if you forget them.
But hey, it’s only what they do all the time, right? They’re so great at creating a sense of low self-worth in others, they even do it by skipping big events like birthdays and making people feel like they don’t mean anything.
Time to flip it!
#4 Fail to clap when they win
Oops, did something amazing happen to the narcissist and you didn’t even register it in your world?
I’d say that was unnecessary, but then I look back on all the things they didn’t clap you for, and somehow it doesn’t seem so bad.
It’s really unfortunate when you live through situations where you are not able to share joy, but narcissists don’t even know what joy is.
They expect everything to stop for them when they have good news, but when it’s your good news, the only thing they want to do is sabotage it.
So stick it to their ego and care less when they want to shout their win from the rooftops. They won’t ever forget your absence, but that’s on them, not you.
#5 Talk over them in public
A great way of diffusing the ego of a narcissist is by reminding them that you have a voice, especially in public.
When you get a group of you together, you want to make sure that you talk over them. Not a lot, but enough to make them feel like gritting their teeth and wondering what’s gotten into you.
Hey, I think it’s great to be able to butt in from time to time and make it about you, but in a way that doesn’t make you look like the narcissist.
Just when they think they’ve got something really important and fascinating to share with the crowd, you can prove them wrong by giving a story you have.
#6 Steal their thunder
So, the narcissist has big news, do they? They want to celebrate getting that new job, or bumping into somebody famous, or whatever it is they just so happen to be bursting at the seams about.
Good for them.
What you have to share is much bigger, right? And look at that, it falls on the same night, at the same time. In fact, what you want to say will gain far more attention. Oh dear, well, that’s life, I guess.
Let me share this; there isn’t a single narcissist on the planet who would forget you stealing their thunder.
Right when they need attention the most, you’ve gone and landed the best way to take it from them.
This is essentially the same as waving a big sign in front of their face that says, “You aren’t as important as you think you are.”
#7 Celebrate yourself
I think everybody should be celebrating themselves more, but if you’re stuck with a narcissist, it’s something you have to learn to do, and fast.
Think of it this way, who else is going to celebrate you? The narcissist won’t, that’s for sure. They will try hard to let you know that you don’t matter, even when you’ve got amazing things going on in your life.
So, hurt them. Show them that what you are experiencing is cause to jump for joy and celebrate.
What’s the alternative? Being made to feel small and irrelevant around somebody who doesn’t appreciate you?
That’s not what life should be about.
Remember that your life is made up of all your experiences, which form memories, which form biases.
Start with those experiences, because if they are good, you will reflect on them positively, and form more happy biases than not.
People who do this are far less likely to dwell on the past, or have regrets or missed opportunities that they constantly think about.
Hurt their ego. Love life. Do the things you love that make you who you are. Watch the narcissist shrink as you defy their abuse.
