Financial abuse isn’t talked about enough, but it is a very real threat to the victim of a narcissist.
It is also a very real way for a narcissist to control and manipulate you, and if you aren’t aware of the lengths they will go to in order to get that, then this is for you.
In a relationship, you should be able to have access to money. You shouldn’t be worried about accessing that cash, and you certainly shouldn’t be cut off from it.
If you want to bring a little peace to your heart, you’re going to have to understand how dark financial abuse can get, and how understand that the moment you leave them, you get to have that part of your life back.
Here are 7 ways narcissists financially abuse you.
The effect on you
I don’t think you need me to tell you the stress, worry and anxiety finances can cause you when you’re tangled up with a narcissist.
To top it all off ,the narcissist isn’t even remotely sorry about inflicting all of this onto you, and that’s why we’re here today.
I want to hold the narcissist accountable for the ways they’ve financially abused you, and I want to validate your emotions surrounding your experience.
As long as you remain with the narcissist, they will always reign supreme over you when it comes to money, and it will further and further put this burden and fear onto you.
I say enough is enough, so that’s where we get into that list.
#1 Running up huge debt
You won’t know a thing about this until the big, scary letters rightfully land on your doormat.
A common way this occurs is when the narcissist thinks credit cards are these little magic cards that give money out, like pocket money, but on a much grander scale.
How wrong could they be, but then again, they’re careless and love the idea of flaunting material goods rather than being responsible enough to pay any of it back.
Running up huge debts can be even more abusive when your name is included in the credit account, or when your name solely is on it.
That means, yep, your credit score tanks, and the lenders are after you.
That might be when the narcissist decides to up and leave, leaving you with huge bills you have no idea how you’ll pay them.
#2 Not paying taxes
Running a business is no joke, and taxes are a huge part of that. If you owe, then you owe.
Not paying leads to significant issues, implications and fines. We just do what we need to do to get by, right?
And you don’t have to agree with it. For the majority of us, we see taxes rise and rise, but it is what it is.
Narcissists are so entitled, they even feel they don’t owe a thing. They point blank refuse, and of course, that leads to problems that you could do without.
You’re a part of that business, and you live with the narcissist. You share bank accounts and addresses, and you’re as deep in that refusal to pay as they are.
#3 Gambling
I don’t think I need to really say too much about gambling. I mean, a person can gamble away literally thousands and never see it again.
If that money was supposed to be half yours, then you won’t see any of it either. Once it’s gone, it’s gone.
Gambling is a serious addiction, and anybody who has trouble with it should get help.
Narcissists feel like they’re exempt from needing help, and will deny there’s even a problem, which makes it hard for you to then get control of the finances.
As a result, the abuse will speak for itself. Convinced they will ‘win big soon’, they won’t stop, or see your calls to stop as a sign to get help.
#4 Keeping you from the accounts
Shutting you down from any account you share is pretty much a set approach for narcissists.
It’s so common for them to cut you out of what’s going in and more importantly, what’s going out of the account with your name on it.
Narcissists can do this by taking away your card and saying they’ve got control of it all.
You don’t need to worry about anything!
I’ve got the account sorted.
What you don’t see is what they’re up to behind the scenes. You assume your savings are intact, but in reality, they’re spending them without you even having an idea.
#5 Breaking down every dime you spend
When you want to go out and get something for yourself, the narcissist will keep tabs on you like nothing else.
I recall speaking with a woman who once said her narcissistic husband pulled her up for buying tampons at the store. He wanted to know what was bought and even had an issue with how much they cost!
Every single dime you spend will be shone under a spotlight, but that won’t stop them from buying what they want, when they want.
This is called double standards, and is very typical of all narcissists. My advice would be to stop feeding into the guilt that they dangle in front of you every time you use the account. If you need something or even want something, get it.
#6 Asking you to leave your job
When you’re asked by the narcissist to leave your job, alarm bells should sound very loudly.
What’s really going on here?
The narcissist wants to isolate you from your independence.
They want you to rely on nobody else other than them.
They want their own finances to be the only income so they get to determine how much you spend.
They will also complain about being the sole provider, leaving you feeling as though you just can’t win.
It can get serious when you aren’t able to access your own money for yourself.
I know these days it’s hard to live and provide for yourself or your family on one wage unless one person is really lucky and earns enough.
If you are earning something and enjoying your job, you shouldn’t have to give it up for anybody.
#7 Complaining constantly about how much things cost
When you aren’t out there in the world working or paying for things, your partner is likely to be doing that instead.
It can leave you not really knowing the true cost of living, as you’re separated from the world you live in financially.
When that occurs, it can be easy for the narcissist to complain about the cost of things.
I am going to have to ask for more hours.
I really need that contract to work out because we are in trouble if it doesn’t.
Have you any idea how much having all these lights on costs me?
Automatically, you’ll want to switch it all off and live in darkness because you feel like you’re helping out.
Should you have to sit in darkness?
No.
But it will amuse the narcissist to see you adhering to their dramatic approach to financially abuse you.
