I already know how much you love the idea of torturing a narcissist. Have you got one in particular in mind?
Well, you’ll be pleased to know that torturing then doesn’t have to involve physical pain. It can involve just being you every single day. Unapologetically.
So while you’re out there living your best life,they are pulling their hair out, wondering how the heck you got to this point.
So do you want in on a few secrets? I’ve got 7 things that torture a narcissist to help get you started.
#1 Being ignored
If you’ve never ignored a narcissist before, I dare you to try it. Even the notion of not listening to what they’re saying and asking them to repeat it drives them wild.
They want to feel important, and they crave all eyes on them at all times, so it’s hardly a surprise how your ignorance sends shivers down their spine, for all the wrong reasons.
But this is your life on a daily basis, isn’t it? You speak and they act like you’re just somebody who is begging them for money in the street. Yet if you pull this trick, they feel tortured.
This comes from the simple fact that a narcissist’s ego is bruised so easily.
#2 Watching you move on
As you move on, seeking solace and connection with somebody new, the narcissist will despise you for it.
How on earth did you get there first? You officially left them behind, and now they have to watch you fall in love with another person who probably (hopefully) knows how to treat you fairly and nicely.
The Torture part of this is that officially they’ve lost you. And by lost you, I mean lost control.
All the while you had nobody else, there was always the hope that you’d go back to them.
I mean, it worked time and time again, didn’t it? That push/pull dynamic that was once addictive is no more, and now you’ve really gone.
So what does that mean for them?
It means they wish they still had your supply while you’re busy living your best life.
Tough luck, eh?
#3 Seeing you thrive
By thriving, this could mean various things.
Let’s start with the obvious – things are going well for you in your life. You’ve got a good job and a small yet meaningful friendship circle.
Your hobbies captivate your interest, and you feel good about yourself. You’re heading on vacation in a few weeks and you can’t wait.
Then there’s thriving with somebody new, not to mention thriving physically, too.
You’re doing all the things the narcissist put a ceiling on, telling you that there was no way you could be that person.
Except, now you are. And you built that life because you had nothing. You started with the ground below your feet, and you ensured that your foundations were strong before you began your journey of healing.
They hate that about you. They wanted to ruin your life and make you feel worthless, but all they did was give you the recipe you needed to provide yourself with love and light. I’d say that was a pretty big win, wouldn’t you?
Thriving takes a while to get right. You have to get past the programmed guilt of doing something good for yourself.
Once you can overstep these emotionally damaging mines in the ground the narcissist planted, you’re on free land.
Your land.
#4 Non-responsiveness to their love-bombing
Oh, here they go again. The love-bombing commences, and previously you’d have been all over it.
You saw the niceness, the gestures, the loving ways they try to hook you in.
In fact, they’re doing even more this time around, and you’re feeling pretty tempted to see how genuine it all is.
You long for love, like we all do to some extent. Only this is on a different level.
Your longing is based on your worth, and not because love is nice and you want to share it with somebody who cares about you and loves you in return.
Now you’re fighting with responding and not responding. All you know is what happens when you do get involved with the narcissist, and it isn’t pretty. You usually end up getting hurt, so why bother?
Torture tham that little bit more by refuting their love-bombing, and see just how far it gets them!
#5 Being held accountable
They did something wrong, so you’re calling them out on it. And this time, they’ve got nowhere to go.
They know they did wrong, and you are the one who is making it known and speaking your truth.
They will of course try to deny, or shift the blame onto you. They can’t stand to have the spotlight on them for negative reasons, yet here you are making it happen.
It’s pure torture for you to basically say, “This is your fault.” All the narcissist hears is, “You aren’t perfect, after all.”
How terrible for them to know that you’ve got that kind of power over them in that one moment.
And to you, you’re not doing anything wrong. You will happily hold your hands up if you do something wrong, right?
All you’re asking for is the same kind of openness from the narcissist, but we know how impossible that is due to their perfected high standards they insist on having at all times.
#6 Losing control of you
When the narcissist has invested a lot of time and energy into ensuring you conform, you can imagine their shock and disdain when you start moving against the grain.
They want you to be silent when it suits you, do as you’re told, and move in ways that respond to their abuse. Instead, you’ve learned to grow and find your feet within yourself again.
Your hobbies are kicking in, your life is blossoming into what you love to do, and you make no apologies for who you are and what you’re spending your time doing.
You realize that you don’t have to answer to them, and you aren’t looking for their permission when you do something that fills you with joy.
What torture for the person who lives to control.What pain for those who have no purpose in living in harmony with others.
Losing control is their worst nightmare.
#7 Being caught red-handed
Hey , narcissist! There’s no way out of this corner you’ve placed yourself in!
You can try to run, but we’ve got you, finally! We know what your game is, and your time is up! What do you have to say for yourself?
Cue stunned silence and wide eyes. Narcissists in truth have no idea how to dig themselves out of these kinds of holes.
They see you as the person to blame for even highlighting their wrongdoing, taking away the very wrong thing they actually did.
Being caught red-handed means there’s no talking their way out of what happened.
It’s just you, them and the overwhelming evidence that they are at fault.
Ouch!
