Your lack of understanding is a win for each narcissist. They will do anything for their power to override your capacity to grasp.

It means they’ve got you right where they want you.

But – where exactly is that? Why do they want you anywhere?

As you allow what is about to follow to sink in, I want to remind you that your own power was never taken from you.

It was simply hidden from your view.

It’s time to find it!

Their Power = Your Weakness

The power narcissists get from you not being able to understand something means they can manipulate that something however they want. 

Put simply: The less you know, the more they can pull the strings.

It’s not that you’re weak, but a lack of knowledge is a weakness in the big picture. 

And in that big picture is the real narcissist—the person behind the facade. 

Then What?

Without any power, you’re theirs to mold how they see fit. Being whatever suits them, acting however suits them, and being their ‘yes man’ means they don’t have to worry about you questioning them or stepping out of line. 

Let Yourself Awaken!

Awakening to how much they pay you is the first step to getting out of this position they’ve put you in. 

Narcissists are only happy when they have you where they want you. If you can get up and move, they won’t have a leg to stand on.

Suddenly, that dynamic shift leaves them more helpless, and you will be far more in control.

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Things Narcissists Don’t Want You To Understand

You mustn’t understand aspects of the narcissist. You must be kept in the tiny, little box they made for you because that’s where they feel you belong.

As long as you don’t understand a single thing, you’ll make them happy.

#1 Their True Intentions

The true intention of any narcissist is to ensure you never question them, or do or say anything out of line. If you do, you’ll be punished. 

They don’t want you to understand their true intentions, so they create a cycle of abuse that you fall into.

Don’t get me wrong, there are going to be aspects of that cycle that you actually like.

The fragments of time that they tell you how beautiful you are. How you’re the only one for them. The romantic dinner. The laughs. The feeling of connection.

If you fall for the love-bombing, you will never really be able to fully understand their true intention to wholly abuse you over as long a period of time as possible. 

It’s the only thing that the narcissist really lives for. 

And by riding that intense rollercoaster of emotions the narcissist puts you on, you’re going to give them exactly what they want. 

This entire aspect of abuse is never meant to be understood by you – that’s why they make it so confusing. 

#2 Finances/Bills

For me personally, this is one of the worst things any narcissist doesn’t want you to understand. 

It seems natural to share bills or finances, or at least have both parties be aware of what comes in and what goes out of every household.

As adults, you both have the comprehension to understand that energy costs, food costs, and homes cost.

Whether it’s rent, mortgage, or insurance, if you share the goods, you need to share how they’re paid for. 

Narcissists withhold these kinds of things from their partners so that a lack of understanding can take hold. This creates a sense of uncertainty within that person.

I wouldn’t know how to pay that bill.

I have no idea what we spend.

I don’t get to see the statements. 

I don’t understand how direct debits work.

Of course you don’t. It’s withheld from you so that you have no other choice but to rely solely on the narcissist. 

#3 Their Job

The more you know about their job, the fewer excuses they will have for working late, traveling for business, or attending meetings that don’t even exist. 

Not only that but, the people the narcissist works with are going to want to be kept under lock and key.

They don’t want you to know Sara from accounts because that’s who he spends every Friday lunch with.

They don’t want you to know Mark in advertising because that is who he plays golf with when he tells you he’s in a presentation. 

You see where I’m going with this. 

Understanding their work leads to knowing everything about it.

It’s a huge no for the narcissist. 

#4 How To Do Things For Yourself

If you were to become independent overnight, you would be next to useless in the eyes of a narcissist.

They hate anybody who is able to live without them, and not rely on their support or help.

It’s why so often you’ll notice the narcissist slowly takes away everything from their victim, including all self-esteem and confidence.

They want their victim to be helpless.

They don’t want them to understand how things work.

It’s how they remain in control. 

#5 The Power of Their Mind Games

Mind games might seem a little light, but the roots of a narcissist’s mind games travel so deep. 

They are dangerous, and getting involved is a problem you should avoid at all costs. 

If you’re unlucky enough to fall into the presence of a narcissist, their mind games will never be understood by you.

If you have a conscience and a good heart, any way of hurting another that is on purpose and actually enjoyed by the narcissist will be completely lost on you. 

The power behind it all will be something you will neer fully comprehend. 

Why do they do what they do? Why can’t they just be normal and live peacefully, with love and gratitude?

By design, that’s not how narcissists work.

#6 What They’re Capable Of

The capability of a narcissist knows no limits. If you were to really know what goes on in their head, it would completely shock you. 

You aren’t meant to understand them in this way, because if you did, there would be some mild justification for their acts of evil.

Just when you think you’ve got them all figured out, they will go up a gear and do or say something even worse.

You should never be prepared. 

#7 What Love Is

If you knew what love really was, you wouldn’t tolerate the way the narcissist treats you. 

They want you to see their version of love as the ultimate version. The one way somebody expresses how they feel.

That’s not done by abusing you – but that’s how you learn to accept love as they know it.

It will become love as you know it. 

8 Silly Mistakes Narcissists Make

Believe it or not, narcissists make mistakes every single day.

Just when you thought you believed the perfect image they portrayed, you’re starting to see through the cracks.

Oh, what fun that is!

Now, to see through those cracks, all you need is a little insight into what really happens when narcissists create huge errors for all to see.

And believe me, they can get very silly!

You Think They Are Perfect… So Do They!

When somebody presents you with this perfect image of themselves, it’s easy to believe it all the while those rose-tinted glasses are on. When you don’t see a fault, it won’t even cross your mind that they are less than the whole package. 

A narcissist will do this well because they don’t want you to see all the ways they’re actually as insecure as they are toxic. 

It’s like a show, right?

The show starts, and everybody takes a seat and watches the actors on stage. You don’t know what the actors are really like because you’re seeing them play a role; a character. 

It’s the same with all narcissists. They welcome you to your seat, and show you what you came to see. 

Eventually, that show is going to have to end. I mean, nobody can continuously act like that without their real character starting to come through.

The Horror!

It’s always a horror to the narcissist when they make a mistake. When something happens, you get to see the version of themselves that holds no color and no warmth. That’s when you realize what a facade it all is.

Catching them fail to be perfect means you have seen the real person behind the pretense. Furthermore, they are reminded in that single moment that they have faults.

8 Silly Mistakes Narcissists Make

Hey, don’t be surprised if you recognize your own situation in every single one of these points!

#1 They Are So Predictable!

The longer you get to know a narcissist, the more you can start to see patterns in their behavior.

You know at the family party, they’re going to turn up and cause some kind of discomfort. You learn to dread those gatherings, but more so, you find yourself preparing for them.

Psyching yourself up, or remembering all the times before they’ve passed comment or judgment, or made you the butt of jokes.

The way they can destroy an occasion is astounding – but they do it so frequently and similarly that you can now actually call them predictable.

#2 They Tell On Themselves

Oops, did the narcissist slip up? I think they may have! Narcissists only have to say one word or phrase for you to see or hear the slip up.

No, I’ve never spoken to them in my life.

Really? The same person I saw you with at the office last week?

I told you I didn’t want to go.

No. I have a text here from two weeks ago saying that you were looking forward to it.

Narcissists tell on themselves all the time, if you let them just fall into their own traps. Making it easy for them to do so gives you far more ammunition when it comes to fighting your half of the conflict. 

Narcissists only think they’re clever, but if you scratch beneath the surface, you’ll see them make mistake after mistake.

It’s hilarious!

#3 Confession Time!

A narcissist will tell you everything about themselves the second they start projecting onto you.

You’re so narcissistic! Stop trying to control everything!

Nobody likes you! You’re not worth their time.

You are so frustrating. I wish you’d learn to love yourself more!

When you are stuck in the midst of these kinds of comments, it’s hard to really understand them to be any other way than pure insults.

Once you learn about projection, you learn that narcissists use it to put everything they feel about themselves onto you so they don’t have to deal with it themselves.

This constant denial is hurtful at the time, because it seems as though you can’t do a thing right.

In actual fact – the mistake is the narcissist assuming you’re anywhere near as toxic as they are. 

#4 No Reason Anger

Shout, shout, shout.

Rah, rah, rah.

Noise, noise, noise.  

What’s it all for? Give me one good reason?

The narcissist can’t.

It’s anger for absolutely no reason, but it’s aimed at you to make you feel like you need to say sorry.

For what?

You didn’t do anything wrong.

When the narcissist becomes angry for no reason, they make the silly mistake of trying to lure people into the drama. 

Some will fall for it, yes. Once you start awakening to narcissist abuse, you will probably find yourself walking away and shaking your head.

Because it’s just not worth it. 

#5 They Underestimate You

Underestimating you is a huge mistake. Imagine thinking that you can’t do a fraction of the things you’re actually able to do – with ease!

Not only that, but this is also about character.

When a person wants to break you, they can take you to hell and back trying. If you remain steadfast in your response and do not let it get to you, you will end up being severely underestimated.

#6 They Don’t Commit To The Change They Promise

This is when you start to see the narcissist for who they really are.

Those promises made that are continuously broken will form a pattern for you. And no, it doesn’t work out the way you hope because that happens when hope fades to disappointment. 

You want somebody to commit to you, and love you for who you are. And all the ways they say they will be there for you to be true and followed through with.

You soon learn to not trust them, even though they are yearning for you to be faithful and stick by their side.

It’s too late when you open your eyes and see the narcissist, not the charmer!

#7 Believing They’re Perfect

This one almost makes me cringe.

Narcissists all believe they’re perfect. 

They adore themselves on the surface, and convince themselves that they have no flaws at all. 

That’s a lot to uphold, don’t you think? Especially when the mask can slip so easily…

#8 Believing What They Say is True

A narcissist’s voice is their favorite song. I’ll go one deeper than that:

A narcissist’s voice is their favorite ever sound. 

Nothing beats it.

They’re always right and believe anything they say is true. 

Nobody can convince them otherwise, and if you so much as question, then more fool you.

Well, actually, more fool them…

…One day they will be proven wrong, which will be their most embarrassing moment to date!