I know, I know. You don’t need me to tell you how strange narcissists are.
They are incredibly odd people, and on top of that, they exude a toxicity that causes you, the victim, to feel like you’re going crazy.
You’re not.
Who are you without them, though?
The only way you can find out is if you explore the narcissist in detail – starting with the strange things they do that nobody really wants to talk about.
Except me, your friend go-to guy for narcissism!
We Need To Talk
It’s overdue, I know. Topics like this really do get shoved to the bottom of many professionals’ piles of paper because they don’t view them as important enough to cover.
I always think, why?
The whole point of you recovering, healing, gaining knowledge and growing within yourself is learning exactly how weird the narcissist can get.
It almost seems crazy to me that people are willing to not even talk about it, either.
But if we don’t, then you don’t get to the other side of this misery, or as I like to call it:
Your authentic life!
#1 Randomly Forget Important Events or Details
Oh, how convenient of the narcissist to forget something so important to you.
What a shock I feel that they’ve totally wiped what matters out of their minds in replacement of, well, literally anything else.
As random as it may seem to you, these are cruel and calculated ways a narcissist will disappoint you and leave you feeling upset.
They will find any way possible to make you feel like you don’t matter- and I know that feels like the running theme in your life.
It’s all done on purpose.
If you don’t feel you matter, then you stop doing the things you love. You stop calling the people you care about. You give up on your dreams or goals, seeing them as out of your reach.
You stop seeing your worth and understanding that your compassion for people and life is what makes you, you.
Let’s be real here for a moment, though.
They don’t care enough about you to remember anything that is of a priority to you.
#2 Use Private Jokes as Subtle Put-Downs in Public
Only you and the narcissist know the story of the joke, and that’s how they get to you in public.
So what are your choices when that joke rears its ugly head?
For a start, you’ve got that bubbling feeling in your chest. Do you want to shout, or cry, or both?
Secondly, you’ve got the challenge of trying to swallow that feeling while in front of people who may be laughing at what the narcissist said, or even worse, not noticing the abuse right before them.
So now – what do you do? Try to convince the people you’re with that the narcissist is a narcissist because they slipped this unnecessary dig at you?
Tell them you’re in pain from it only to be met with a confused look because they don’t see what the problem is?
It’s hard to get anybody on board with narcissist abuse.
You want the support, but you know it’s an uphill battle all the while they act on their best behavior in front of the unsuspecting crowd you’re surrounded by.
It’s not nice at all.
#3 Innocent Jealousy of Your Success
I didn’t think you had it in you.
I am just so surprised that you were able to achieve that, that’s all.
Those quick yet cutting comments will drag you back down from your happy spot that can I say you earned.
And most of the time, narcissists do it so slyly that nobody else even notices.
That’s the worst part if you’re on the receiving end. It’s hard to come to terms with a person being so abusive so obviously to you without anyone else picking up on it.
Remember, they’re only jealous because you’re getting something they aren’t – and you’re likely getting good attention for it, too.
#4 Create Chaos, Then Play the Savior
Something about the way a narcissist plants all the mines for us all to stand on, then they come running to us when one blows up in our faces, right?
What is that?
The weirdest thing is to line us up in a firing frame before coming to our rescue that just sits so uneasy in me, and I’m sure it does with you, too.
Why would anybody take the time and energy to do all of that when they could just be a good person?
It’s all about control – and this is a really unhealthy level of it. They have to be the one to create chaos so they can watch everybody lose their minds…
…Then they swoop in and fix it.
And what does everybody do?
Oh, thank goodness you came along when you did.
What would we do without you?
In truth – probably a heck of a lot more than you’re able to do under their power, that’s for sure.
#5 Act Like the Victim After Hurting You
There’s one case I will throw your way for an example.
Tiffany was in the kitchen when she lived at home with her parents. She overheard her father telling her mother that he thought she looked drab, and she clearly doesn’t care about the way she looks. It was incessant.
In a rage, Tiffany told her father to go jump (but in a more explicit way).
From that day, Tiffany’s father told everybody how rude Tiffany was, and how he was so upset that she spoke to him like that.
Nobody funnily enough was told why Tiffany said those words. They just all assumed through unfactual narcissism that she was ungrateful and the one with the problem.
In truth, Tiffany was hurt and that was how she expressed it at that moment.
#6 Triangulate
If they see you getting on overly well with someone else – the narcissist is going to cut that closeness short with nothing but a few backstabbing words.
I’m sure you’ve all been there, when they come between you and another.
All because you seem to them as though you will form some kind of special force between the pair of you, and that is an immediate threat to them.
So they jump in, and push you apart in the hope that they get to gain back that control they briefly lost.
Triangulation happens all the time, and nobody even truly picks up on the culprit.
Until now…!
#7 Use Silence as a Weapon
Silence is left for the person on the receiving end to interpret.
That’s why the narcissist likes to leave a dollop of it on your doorstep, and because you’re so low on confidence, you will see silence as a worrying development in your relationship with the narcissist.
So they get you where they want you – and you spend the rest of the day, week or even month begging for them to open up and tell you what you did that was so wrong.
But why is it your fault?
Why does nobody talk about the fact that they’re just brazenly trying to manipulate you with silence?
It’s unfair, and it’s cruel.
