You think people would be pretty transparent these days, wouldn’t you? We all want to surround ourselves with real people, who think, live and love authentically. It’s what connects us.
If only!
Narcissists are only connected to their own crappy egos, and by nature surrender all ways to be kind the moment they go anywhere near another person.
I’d go as far to say that all narcissists are great at hiding certain secrets to everyone, and that includes their friends.
If you want to know what those 7 things are, look no further.
Friends? I Know, Right?
Even narcissists have friends, and I know you might find that hard to believe or even get your head around.
How can people willingly like them?
Likely the reasons are because they’re either narcissists themselves, or they’re just the kind of people who feel somewhat wanted or needed when in the presence of them.
What I hasten to add is that either way, there’s not going to be a heck of a lot of authenticity in the friendship circle.
There can’t be. Narcissists are more shallow than a puddle, and the deeper you try to get into it, the more you’re going to end up just hitting the ground.
Hiding: An Easy Life
Ultimately, if there’s things going on in your life that you want hidden, you’re going to do so to make your life that little bit easier.
But – is it going to be easier? Those hidden things are still going to be there. They will still exist, even if you’re trying hard to cover them up.
I think it’s so much better to just face that you’ve got going on with all your might.
Prove to yourself that you’re worth fighting for, and admit to the world that you aren’t perfect, and you need to work out what you need to work out.
Then again, if you’re a narcissist, you won’t want to admit that you’re less than perfect.
When you’re down in a bit of a heap, people will think, “Wow, I thought you had it all together.”
Nope.
The narcissist prefers to hide, and hide well. So let’s loo kat exactly what they hide, even from their closest friends.
#1 Insecurities
No narcissist wants to be an open book. If they were, all their insecurities would immediately be on display for all to see.
I know as much as you do how interesting that thought actually is, but for now, we don’t get that satisfaction.
Instead, we have to deal with the fact that their insecurities are under lock and key.
What they really think of themselves. How they really see their own soul under the pretentiousness they’ve built and exuded to the world.
You know how narcissists are infamous for making everybody else feel like total shit?
It stems from their own self-loathing. It’s not because you’re a horrible person. It’s not because their opinions of you are true.
All their outward hating does is distract them from how they really feel about themselves, and exactly what they’re so insecure about.
#2 Fears
Fears are pretty common, aren’t they? Even if they don’t interrupt our normal lives, I think there are things for all of us we’d at the very least rather not see or do.
Whether you’re scared of the dark, heights, flying, certain animals, or even if you just aren’t a fan of deep, dark water like lakes.
It’s okay as long as they don’t rule your life too much, to avoid them. A person terrified of spiders isn’t going to hang out with a dozen tarantulas for fun openly, are they?
But what you do in those situations is different to what a narcissist would do.
Fears for them are not up for discussion. They will refuse to discuss them with even the closest people, which seems odd to me.
When you get to know the character of a narcissist in general, that all starts to make sense.
They want to be the best, love to look confident, refuse to succumb to any form of weakness, and have solid, strong outward connections to the world.
Fears aren’t real, certainly not in their lives. And I know you know that they’re real on the inside, but the inside is what the narcissist never puts out there.
#3 Family Issues: The Real Ones
This is such an interesting point, and I couldn’t leave it out.
Narcissists never discuss family issues. Sure, they might say that they’re annoyed or whatever, but below that surface, there’s a lot going on that they simply won’t admit to.
Why?
Because the narcissist is always the cause! They have to be. Wherever they go, they’re causing problems, conflict and drama.
The other side of this coin is the perfect image they’re trying so hard to keep alive and well.
If they start talking about all the issues they have within their family unit, people might start suspecting, or asking more questions than the narcissist is willing to answer.
A big no from them! Hide it all!
#4 Their Need to Fit In
Narcissists want to know everything, be everywhere, see everyone, know all the gossip, and be at the center of it all.
There’s no other preference in how they wish to live.
Rather than admit their need for all the drama and news, they just slip into place and wait for it all to unfold.
#5 Inability to Really be a Friend
It sounds crazy, doesn’t it?
You’d think if a narcissist had a friend, it’s mean that they’re actually friends… but no.
Narcissists don’t know how to be friends, nor do they necessarily know how to keep them.
How can you truly be a friend if all you do is pit people against each other, lie, cheat and mercilessly mock?
Exactly.
#6 How Much They Cause Problems
Narcissists aren’t going to advertise how much a problem person they are. It would offer them no favors at all if they were to publicly declare that they’re addicted to drama and any form of emotional trouble.
It’s their biggest secret, even from their own closest friends.
#7 Motives
Whose life will I ruin today?
Where can I cause maximum conflict?
Who haven’t I used for supply lately?
Narcissists lay awake at night plotting, planning and scheming. It’s just what they do in order to ultimately get what they want.
Their end motive is to always come out on top, so the pieces of that puzzle must come together to align with it.
They severely unlikely to say:
You know what? I don’t like the friendship these people have. I need to do something about it now.
You have been warned!
