Narcissists crave power like they need air to breathe, but they don’t always chase it in obvious ways.
Behind closed doors, they practice subtle rituals that give them a secret sense of control and superiority (like most things they do behind closed doors!)
These habits are all about feeding their ego, and nothing more.
Here are 7 sneaky rituals narcissists use to feel powerful without anyone noticing.
I hope you’re ready to see the patterns behind the mask.
When a Narcissist Needs Power
You’re going to know about it, that’s for sure.
Power and narcissism go hand in hand, and a narcissist will take what they can from any situation.
If they’re seeing an opportunity to live out a secret ritual they have, you can bet they will snatch it up and use it.
After all – these secret rituals are essential for them to see that great sense of power, and feel it, too.
What they do with that power is usually exert themselves on others in some way, proving they have the image and status they think they do.
They want people to be in awe of them, to fear them, to be intimidated by them, or to be impressed by them.
So, let’s get into those rituals, shall we?
#1 Mirror Time
Mirror, mirror on the wall
Who is the most toxic and abusive of all?
Me? What news is this?
I thought I lived a life of bliss!
Well – as much as you want them to – narcissists certainly don’t use mirrors for that reason, but they do love to use them to gain power.
Imagine the narcissist you know. Every morning, they stand in front of that mirror and tell themselves how brilliant they are, and how much they’re going to slay the day.
The love that comes from looking back at their reflection is obviously far from healthy, but sadly a strong way how narcissists re-pump energy back into themselves.
Let’s go!
You’ve got this!
Before and after photos.
Look at the difference in my skin after using that cream.
How amazing do I look?
This outfit is gorgeous on me.
It’s gross, I know. But you know, it’s what they do because what else do they have? They can’t be satisfied with just being. That’s the problem which leads to the ritual.
#2 Constant Social Media Checks
Click.
Refresh.
Click.
Refresh.
Scroll.
Scroll.
It’s constant. It’s daily. It’s multiple times per day. Narcissists don’t want to miss anything!
If they did, they might miss an opportunity to find out news, gossip or information.
They might miss finding out somebody they know is moving, or breaking up, or getting together, or changing houses or jobs, or travelling – blah, blah, blah.
Knowledge is power, and usually that statement has positive connotations attached to it. Not on this occasion. Here is a classic example of knowledge being the wrong kind of power.
That doesn’t stop the narcissist from wanting more and more of it, though.
Needing that hit keeps them in the loop, so they don’t miss any crucial piece of information out.
It’s really quite sad, don’t you think?
#3 Name-Dropping in Conversation
Name dropping is where a lot of people will listen and stare with eide, exciting eyes.
Did they just say that name?
That’s so impressive!
I can’t believe they know that person!
Tell us more about how you met!
This is unbelievable!
The enthusiasm oozes through the room, or online if that’s where they decide to brag. Either way and wherever it happens – it’s going to be for the same kind of results.
And listen, I know it’s fun to name drop if you met or saw somebody, famous or not.
If you have friends in high places, or you are on track in the more elite circles, then good for you.
Those who genuinely have that lifestyle don’t need to brag about it.
Success to them isn’t in how people respond to their rituals – it’s just being and gaining from that.
I wonder how many of you remember a time you were around ap eno who couldn’t help but name drop.
Even if it were naming the designer of the shoes they were wearing. It’s tiresome. I mean, what do you want, some kind of medal?
Congratulations, you’re stupid enough to spend $2000 on a bag.
Round of applause.
#4 Creating Chaos and Drama
Don’t think you’re going to see this kind of act obviously, because you won’t.
The chaos that narcissists produce is some of the most stressful situations you can find yourself in, and I don’t say that lightly.
They can create levels of drama that can damage relationships beyond repair, and cause nothing but hurt and pain.
If you’re involved, it’ll happen to you at some point. If it has already, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.
Drama really has no palace in any of our lives unless it’s caused by factors we cannot control.
When people control the drama narrative, you have to question just how honorable they actually are.
No person who claims to love and care should be pulling the strings of stress at the same time. But they do.
It’s all in the name of power. If they see a chance to mess with people’s minds, they will take it and cause as much trouble as they can.
#5 Strategic Compliment Fishing
All narcissists love to fish for compliments, and they do that by purposely sounding insecure about themselves.
You know how it goes…
Oh I don’t know, I don’t think I’d be very good at that…
Are you kidding me? You’d be perfect at it! You’re so clever!
Boom – job done. The narcissist gets the compliment they fish for because you took a huge bite of their bait.
This is different from those who genuinely feel insecure (the narcissist won’t be offering any compliments to you, let me assure you).
What a way to pull in a little bit of power, just because they ‘can.’
#6 Playing the Victim
Playing the victim is one of the narcissist’s biggest tools, and they use it well.
It works to see that they’re always let off the hook and can do no wrong. More so, it points fingers in every other direction than toward them.
It’s always gotta be somebody else’s fault or problem.
They can do no wrong, no matter how terrible they actually are underneath it all.
The victim card is dangerous – and it will really start to have an effect on you if you believe the narcissist when they pull this kind of toxic trick.
#7 Tactical Silence
Picking and choosing when to talk, and when to be silent. Do you think that sounds like a person who has it all together, and who is in charge of their emotional regulation?
It doesn’t to me. It sounds like a person looking for constant power plays, and who loves to exert control over people by deciding how they respond to them.
When you’re wondering why it always feels as though you’re walking on eggshells – this is why.
When you’re wondering what you did wrong – the answer is nothing.
This is all the narcissist.
