You check the calendar. Wow! That event rolled around so quickly, right?
Suddenly, it’s the morning of, and you’re on your way to it. You’re feeling good, almost positive about the occasion, but that won’t last long.
You know who will be there, don’t you? If they haven’t ruined it already, they’re about to!
That’s right. I’m talking about the darling narcissist in your life. The one who can’t go to one event without stirring up a war among you all.
Here are the 7 ‘safe’ family events narcissists turn into total battlefields..
#1 Birthday parties
Who doesn’t love a birthday party?! It’s one of the best times of the year to celebrate the people we love!
Streamers, cake, music, laughter, gifts, candles; it’s all such a joyous occasion and the perfect excuse to make memories.
You gather and catch up, the vibe is great, and people are smiling from ear to ear. It’s taken a little while to organize, but you’re pleased to see everybody together.
Wait a second. Who is that lurking in the distance over there? Who is that person with the slightly dimmed energy around them, who’s come to rattle some cages?
It could only be the narcissist!
What should be a safe, fun event is now fast turning into a battlefield as the narcissist plunges their attitudes into the center of the day.
They can’t help but shake a few branches of the family tree in the hope that feathers will be ruffled.
And why? What good does it do when the attention should be on the person who is celebrating their big day?
Narcissists hate that attention not being on them, so they actually love to enter situations where they get to remind everybody of their presence.
But we all know, not all attention is good attention.
#2 School events
This is a hard one, because the embarrassment isn’t just detained to family or friends. It goes out into the wider world, with teaching staff present to witness it all.
School events are all about the kids, right? We don’t want to hear or see drama coming from the adults.
It really does reveal so much more about them than you will ever know, but this is what they do.
Whether it’s a sports game where they’re yelling orders and getting into verbal spats with other parents,
or a play where they want to clap and cheer louder than the rest and heckle those they think don’t deserve a spot on the stage, anything goes with the narcissist.
Turning a nice occasion into a battlefield can also mean meeting up with your narcissistic ex and having to endure a period of time with them for the kids you have in common.
If that’s the case, I urge you to sit as far away from them as you can.
#3 Holidays
Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah; whatever your Holiday may be, you earned the right to enjoy it with the people you love without drama.
Enter the narcissist, who will change everything you feel about the day with just their presence and a fake smile.
You think at first, “It might not be so bad,” but soon enough, they’re there with the gifts they promised they wouldn’t get, or the gestures that cost way more than you’d agreed to spend.
They grab the opportunity to ruin what is a magical time, and they do it in a way that you will never forget.
It still amazes me that one person has the power to do that, and even if you don’t give them that power, they are there making it very difficult for you to enjoy the Holiday.
It’s like they sap you of all your energy and positivity. They see that you love this time of year, so they do all they can to cause an argument,
or to insult somebody they haven’t seen in a while, or to bring up a sensitive subject and make people feel uncomfortable.
And nobody wants to confront them about it through fear of making the whole situation worse than it already is!
Holidays can lose their shine due to a narcissist’s behavior.
#4 Vacations
You’ve worked hard all year, and the time has come where you can finally let loose and head to the cabin!
Or are you more of a beach person? Regardless where you’re headed, you’re off!
It should be a safe family event, right? People you know and love all together, and, oh wait, the narcissist…
Well, so long, peace.
Suddenly, there’s some kind of stress-related incident before you’ve even loaded the car or got to the airport.
The narcissist won’t put their phone down and help, or they accuse you of being uptight about the itinerary.
Where there’s a vacation with a narcissist, there’s stress and the general feeling of no longer wanting to be there.
Everything turns into conflict, and the family unit becomes fractured in a faraway place that doesn’t even resemble home.
Narcissists don’t want anything to be bigger than them, including any vacation, which is why you will see them climb atop of every one with their ego.
#5 Weddings
I ask you to speak now, or forever hold your peace!
Oh, the narcissist will speak at a wedding. They will praise their voice louder than anybody else’s, and turn the whole day into some kind of battlefield.
Narcissists have zero issues with upstaging the bride and groom, and if they are the bride or groom, that will be so much worse!
Usually they will find several moments to be inappropriate, or criticize the day or theme or venue or time of year.
Weddings are supposed to be about love and forevermore, and that can actually make a narcissist feel uncomfortable. They don’t believe in love, and they don’t know how to love.
Because of that, they will play up at weddings and ensure any attention they can get will come to them.
Pretty pathetic, huh?
#6 Reunions
Hey! You used to be so much thinner!
Life hasn’t been nice to you, has it?
Tough paper round?
To think you were once Prom King/Queen!
I thought you were the big shot ‘going to earn so much money.’ What happened?
Still working there, huh? Thought they’d have made you partner by now.
You can just hear it, can’t you? All the while the narcissist is dragging down those they’ve known from years ago, they’re working on the perfected image they want to convey.
I’m better than everybody else here.
No, you’re not. You’re pretending.
And it’s boring.
#7 Funerals
When you want to pay your respects to somebody you know that has passed away, funerals are the perfect occasion.
They’re sad, sombre and often very challenging, but what makes it worse is the presence of a narcissist.
These are people who already make people’s skin crawl. They set up the kind of fight-or-flight in a person that leaves them permanently on edge, and funerals are not the place for that to be actioned.
Battlefields are possible, and tempers can flare as those present struggle to deal with their loss.
You’d think it’d be the one place they’d respect the moment and just cruise through it with no issues, but no. Remember who we’re dealing with, here!
Narcissists have no shame!
