Hobbies are great, right? I mean, we all have them. We pass the time doing things we love – and it’s good for the soul.
Narcissists also have hobbies but aren’t always necessarily what you might expect. These hobbies are often for self-gain in different ways than the usual pottery or yoga class.
Nope. These hobbies are huge red flags.
The hobbies of a narcissist are designed to improve and maintain their image solely.
Let’s take a look at 7 hobbies of a narcissist that are instant red flags.
#1 Exterior House Improvements
Wow, what a beautiful house!
I love what you’ve done with the place!
It looks amazing – you’re so talented.
You have such an eye for colors and visions.
Yadda, yadda. Undoubtedly, anything that involves making improvements to the outside of the house will gain attention from others.
Narcissists love this. They love to be seen up a ladder with a paintbrush or building new fences. Neighbors will be drawn to coming over and asking them questions bout what they’re doing and say things like:
I don’t know how you find the time to fit it all in.
You’re obviously somebody who takes pride in where they live.
Good on you for wanting to make your home a nice place to live.
These comments will fill the narcissist with the assurance that they are good people. It will almost be like validation for them – and the narcissist is going to lap up every word.
They don’t actually care about painting. If they could leave it, they would.
But…
They have an image to maintain.
#2 Lavishly Decorating for Holidays
When the holidays roll around, whatever they may be, the narcissist will want to have the biggest and best decorations imaginable.
Cutting short of being completely tasteless, they will bring the particular holiday to life and use these decorations to get people excited. Most holiday decorations bring out the inner child in us all. Narcissists love it the most when children’s eyes light up.
Children are some of the most impressionable people on the planet. Their innocent natures just see people for face value, and anyone who smiles and has bright lights or fun decorations outside their house has to be a fun person, too!
#3 Spending Time on Dating Apps “For Fun”
You’re going to cringe at this one, but it’s a fact that narcissists ‘use dating apps for fun.’
Many who are in relationships will openly admit to having them on their phone to their partners because they see it as a hobby.
Narcissists are some of the most judgemental people on the planet. They feel they have the god given right to be able to look at others through a critical lens just because.
What does that mean for you?
Frequently, you can find them on dating apps, laughing to themselves, maybe even showing you!
Look at this person, who would want them?
Well, they’re far too good for this site.
They’ll tell you it’s fun, but for you, it’ll only make your self-esteem dip. How can someone be so critical of others based on their looks? What does that mean for you?
Having dating apps on their phone is a huge red flag for any spouse. To be so brazen to use them in front of you and treat it like a big joke is really quite insensitive and disturbing.
Narcissists to a tee!
#4 Whatever ‘You’ Like to Do
Mirroring is a classic narcissistic tactic. They tend to jump on your bandwagon of loves, passions and hobbies to get you to think you ‘have everything in common.’
Oh really? I love that band too!
I’ve always been interested in hiking!
I love to take time to meditate every day. It’s so good for my mental health.
Little by little, you will think about how much you are suited.
Mirroring is actually a way to get you to feel a certain attachment toward the narcissist. It’s helpful to them to know you are invested in them, so the likelihood of you leaving becomes pretty much non-existent.
Prepare for red flags to fly high when you spot someone loving everything you love. It’s actually nice to meet someone with whom you have one or two mutual hobbies. It’s also nice to know you like different things, so you can maintain your independence and identity.
Narcissists don’t want that for you.
#5 Working Out Obsessively
Exercise is healthy. We are constantly told to keep our bodies and minds as healthy as possible because life, right?
If you meet someone totally obsessed with going to the gym, but beyond that, obsessed with their image in unfathomable ways – watch for what that means.
It’s good to know that a person is taking care of themselves but not to the point where it’s all they do. Constantly checking themselves in the mirror and loving themselves means deep insecurities exist.
While insecurities don’t solely point to narcissism, they indicate a level of unhealthiness. Red flags are born here.
The gym isn’t a narcissistic place, but narcissists are known to congregate here because of all the compliments they would receive as a result of constant working out.
They love the guts, they love the glory.
#6 Gambling
I don’t want to create a strong link between narcissists and gambling, but there is an addictive link between the two that can be a red flag.
Narcissists have an addictive personality. Their personalities lean heavily to addictions to wealth, power, status or fame.
Maybe even all!
They exaggerate their achievements and crave admiration and praise from others daily.
So then let’s look at how addictive this can all be, and how damaging it is to like something such as gambling.
If you meet somebody who is known for enjoying gambling to the point where they’d consider it a hobby…
It’s time to see it as a red flag.
#7 Using Their Own Narcissistic Habits Like Hobbies
This one may not appear too obvious at first, but think about it.
We do a lot of what we tend to like, right?
Suppose the narcissist in your life spends a lot of time criticizing, belittling, punishing, exerting their power, and generally being unpleasant. In that case, it will be a red flag you can’t ignore.
Narcissists love to get stuck in other people’s business. They love to ridicule and tear down friends, family, or even strangers and acquaintances.
They enjoy it so much that barely a moment goes by where they can resist.
Noticing this really brings out the ugly in that narcissist (if it wasn’t already obviously in vision…)
Look out for these crass displays – and avoid them as a result.
