As much as you might think you are, you are not losing your mind. You have spent all this time thinking and assuming that you are the problem, while the narcissist is getting away with treating you like dirt.
Somebody else’s behavior has the ability to force you to re-evaluate the things you do wrong, when in fact, they are the insane ones.
If you are ready, I want to show you the 7 things only narcissists do. You will not unsee what you are about to see.
#1 They Love to Move Goalposts
It is insane how a narcissist can set a standard that seems impossible to reach, yet it happens all the time.
Whatever you do is never good enough, even though you are literally trying everything to please them.
Moving the goalposts only works in their favor, and never yours. That is why you are always walking toward a moveable destination.
#2 Reality Gets Rewritten Before Your Eyes
You speak about a memory or experience you had, and the narcissist pretends they do not know what you are talking about.
Before you know it, you start to lose trust in yourself. Gaslighting is no joke, and it happens in every relationship with a narcissist.
#3 Attachment Comes Via a Love Bomb
Do you remember what it is like in the early days getting to know a narcissist?
It feels as though all your dreams are coming true, and that each moment comes with an intensity you have never felt before.
It is only after you get hooked that the real dynamics start to appear, and they are far less ideal than you could ever imagine.
#4 DARVO Is Used
Deny, attack, reverse victim and offender. You call out their abuse for whatever reason, and the first thing the narcissist does is deny.
Then they turn it on you, attacking you for daring to attempt to expose them, reversing the roles and making themselves look like the victim. What happens? You find yourself apologizing.
#5 Any Return Feels Like a Total Reset
You can go to hell and back with a narcissist, and the moment you try to create some distance between you, it will only serve as a catalyst to start again like nothing happened.
Narcissists do this to try to wipe your memory of the negative stuff, but this pattern will play over and over again if they keep coming back with no accountability or apology.
#6 Your Pain Is Irrelevant and Dismissed
Narcissists are so generous with their love and affection if there is an audience, but the second you are alone with them, they will make you feel small and worthless.
They know exactly what makes you most vulnerable, and will use it at just the right time to cause you maximum pain.
#7 Trauma Bonds Are Prevalent
A trauma bond is a cycle that flits between cruelty and affection. You start to not even be able to see the difference between the two, as you are on this constant loop of hot and cold.
You spend every day waiting for the next high to the point where you will tolerate every single low along the way.
Reaching for the person who hurt you to make it better is the worst kind of bond to get stuck into.
You are relying on your abuser to make you feel good, and that is a power they will not want to let go of.
