What to expect when you’re expecting!
Can I add that what not to expect is a narcissist acting so bizarrely?
Or maybe you are used to their bizarre behavior, and now you have another life in the fold with a growing human inside you.
Pregnant women are vulnerable – and narcissists gobble up vulnerable people like they’re slices of pizza.
The bizarre ways they act when around any expectant mother is not a topic we can glaze over.
Good News… Right?…
For the normal and emotionally healthy of us, of course it is!
Pregnancy is wild, and incredible. It’s been going on for thousands of years, but each one is special, and is what keeps the human race growing and evolving.
People become parents overnight, and pregnant women become moms. There’s nothing negative about hearing news like this…
…Unless you’re a narcissist.
Narcissists act so bizarre around pregnant women, and there are usually several reasons why.
I wonder how many you will be familiar with!
Pregnancy? Run!
#1 Unbothered At The News
One of the worst cases of narcissistic emptiness I have ever heard was of a time I had a message from somebody who I would call Corrine.
Corrien was 30 years old, and fell pregnant with her first child. Her father was a narcissist, but she never really knew quite how much of a narcissist he was until the day she told him her news.
“So?”
He stared blankly at Corrine, with nothing else to offer. No smile. No congratulations. No questions. No care. No concern. No other words.
Corrine understandably felt hurt at this. The one man who was supposed to love her unconditionally had no ounce of love for her when she needed it the most.
Hurtful? Yes.
Bizarre? Totally!
#2 Overly Helpful
You might witness the total flipside to the previous point’s coldness.
Being overly helpful is where some narcissists find themselves when they are around a pregnant woman.
Others who witness these displays will look in awe.
What a lovely person they are.
How loving of them to care so much.
Oh look, isn’t it sweet that they are so concerned?
Loving people are just so attractive.
Yuck.
It’s all for the sake of looking good, and narcissists are some of the best at pretending to be good people, so they look like good people.
If you spot the bizarre, overly helpful behavior of a narcissist around a pregnant woman (or you, if you are expecting), it will stress you out all the while you know the truth about them.
And what that means to you (sorry to make it worse!), is that you couldn’t mark their name even if you tried.
How could you? It’d be impossible if their ‘angelic’ act is what is witnessed.
#3 You Rest – They Play
Narcissists love it when you are unable to do things they can do.
Don’t be surprised if you notice an increase in them going to the bar, getting caught up in extreme sports, staying out all night at parties, or finding fun ways to spend their days that aren’t suitable for pregnant women.
It’s all to get to you, and these actions are intended to make you feel useless. As if your hormones aren’t already messing with you – now you have this to deal with.
If you kick up about it – that’s what you’ll hear.
You’re so hormonal.
You’re clearly struggling with your pregnancy.
Maybe you need to lay down.
I can’t wait for these hormones to settle.
#4 Intimacy Withheld
Well, I wouldn’t want to hurt the baby.
It freaks me out thinking that we’re having intimacy while you’re carrying our child.
I can’t stand the thought of being intimate with you while you’re pregnant.
I don’t want to.
It’s not for me.
Intimacy can and will be withheld if you’re pregnant. Medically speaking, it’s more than safe to continue physical intimacy while pregnant, but narcissists will look for any excuse to neglect you when you are at your most vulnerable and emotional.
#5 Jealousy Becomes Off The Scale
Pregnant woman emerging from the dark shadows!
Lady with a baby about to take all the attention from everybody else closeby!
Was that a twinge? Are you okay? Do you need to sit down? When are you due? How are you feeling about it? Are you all ready for the birth?
Ouch. None of these questions can be directed toward the narcissist, and so they may as well not even be in the vicinity…
…This is a nightmare of epic proportions! The narcissist will side stare at that pregnant woman – they won’t care if she’s growing a human inside her or not.
Then you have the non-partner jealousy. Friends, sisters etc…
…Why them and not me?! It’s so unfair!
So, you’re pregnant then. I didn’t even know you were trying…
Well, here’s the point where you can kiss your figure goodbye…
How to say you’re jealous without saying you’re jealous?!
Narcissistic people are so vile!
#6 Already Shaping The Child’s Character
As soon as that baby is born, they are going to be huge soccer fans, just like me.
When the baby comes, they’re going to do everything I never had the chance to do when I was a kid.
Kids need to be resilient. I’m going to drill that into our baby.
These phrases become almost an obsession with the narcissist. They can’t wait to get their claws into a brand new kind of supply.
Will it be their golden child or fall into scapegoat quarters?
Either way – they are going to be of some kind of use to the narcissist, and the narcissist will make sure of that.
This is real control, people. And it’s dangerous.
#7 Making Threats
If you go out tonight when you should be home resting, you’ll pay for it.
Don’t you dare eat anything you shouldn’t eat. The baby’s health comes first.
Don’t you think you’re eating a little bit too much? If you carry on, I don’t think I can stand to be around you any longer.
You don’t need to go shopping. I’ll take over the finances and make sure we have what we need.
It’s worrying when dynamics like this change. Already, the pregnant woman is in no position to put up too much of a protest.
To be treated like you’re unwell and need to stay at home can be isolating at a time where you may be looking for extra support in your family and friendship circles.
It’s fine. She’s fine and being looked after.
I can handle it.
Pushing away those who care is going to raise eyebrows, but the narcissist wants now more than ever for the pregnant woman to be under their spell, rather than be swayed by anybody else.
