I bet the last place you’d be was here, thinking about the food habits of a narcissist!
Every day they find the most unpleasant ways to surprise us, and this is one of the worst.
Thinking about it, it’s because you felt something wasn’t right whenever talk of food came up, or at the table.
Your stomach turned, and it wasn’t anything to do with what was on your plate.
For the longest of times, you thought it was something you were doing wrong, but, like all narcissistic abuse, it was never about laying the blame at your feet. Here are 7 disturbing eating habits of a narcissist.
#1 They Made Every Meal Center Around Them
It’s always got to be what they want, and you never get a say. They choose the restaurant, and whenever you suggest somewhere new, they look at you as if you’re going crazy.
Your preference is yet again swept under the carpet – the audacity of trying to have an opinion!
What does this do to you over time? Well, if this has been you, what did you do?
My bet is that somewhere along the line, you stopped suggesting places to eat out, and just went along with whatever the narcissist wanted.
It felt easier, and if you weren’t ‘making a fuss,’ they were marginally happy, which was all you ever hoped.
#2 Food Becomes Their Latest Way to Love Bomb You
I know how magical it can feel to go out in the early days to all these impressive, wonderful places to eat. You walk into various restaurants, and feel like a celebrity.
You’re told to pick anything on the menu that you want, and you stare at everything they have on it, not knowing where to start.
Money is no object, which in itself feels very unusual to you, as you’ve been so used to watching the pennies all these years.
This is love-bombing. Each time you go out to eat where the budget is endless, it acts as a debt for the future.
You won’t know it at the time, but you’ll spend years repaying and it will result in you feeling totally exhausted, without fully knowing why that is.
#3 Whatever You Eat, They Criticize
It doesn’t have anything to do with anybody else, but narcissists aren’t just anybody, and they will push and push their casual commentary until it chips you into nothing.
There are no obvious signs from them that they are being cruel, but it’s steady, and consistent.
Before long, you become affected so deeply that you begin eating differently whenever you’re with them.
Some victims of narcissistic abuse have even been known to apologize for what’s on their plate, like they feel bad for their choices.
The problem isn’t that you’re eating anything wrong, it’s that the narcissist always wants to ensure they find fault in whatever your choices are. In making you a problem, you are then to blame.
This is another one of those push/pull dynamics, where you’re supposed to listen and obey, and the narcissist is supposed to get their own way yet again.
#4 Your Food Is Their Food, No Questions Asked
What did you put in the fridge to save for later? Which foods does the narcissist know are specifically yours?
You’d know, and they’d know, too. Except they don’t care, and will tuck into whatever they find. Proof of their lack of care will come when you ask them where your food went, and you’re met with wide eyes.
What does it matter?
What’s the big deal?
It’s just food, get over it.
Why are you acting up over this?
You’re unreasonable, not because you necessarily kicked up a storm, but because you tried to defend something that was yours, and the narcissist won’t have liked that.
I’ll tell you something here. You’re not unreasonable at all. The problem is never you.
Reminding yourself that regularly will help you come to terms with all the kinds of ways the narcissist will try to put you down. It’s up to you whether they’re successful or not.
#5 Your Body Becomes the Focal Point of Conversation
Who has been here before? Be honest, because I know you might not want to talk about it if it really did affect you.
Are you sure you can manage all that rice?
I’m surprised you’ve got room for that considering what you ate for lunch.
Did you say you were invited to your friend’s party next weekend? And you want to fit into that dress?
I’m just kidding. Don’t take everything so seriously.
I understand. I know the exact kinds of comments narcissists say, because I have heard from so many of you in the past.
When your boy or image becomes the center of their attention right as you’re eating together, it can and will be enough to put you right off your food.
You wanted to eat it, in fact, you were really looking forward to that meal, and now you’d sooner starve.
The narcissist wins because they’ve chipped away at a little more of your joy, meaning you now have less than before.
#6 Your Food Is Never Cooked Right
And the control strikes again. You never do it right. Too many onions. Not enough spice.
The meat is overcooked. Whatever is said, there is a performance attached to it, and it will always be you who wishes you could find the emergency exit and get a refund.
This is all for effect; the narcissist wants to show you how disciplined they are in treating you unfairly, and how drama can unfold simply with them just mentioning one thing about your cooking.
There’s no ease behind mealtimes, instead just that painful reminder that you’re not giving them what they want.
This often leads to them doing their usual tutting and sighing, asking you how you can be so forgetful in what they like and don’t like.
Do you even know me at all?
How are you still managing to do this?
Do you like your chicken this dry? Because I don’t.
You’ll hear it all, and it’ll make you wish you didn’t bother. That’s exactly why the narcissist does it; to get you to feel even worse about yourself than you already do.
#7 They Complain You Spent Too Much on Groceries, Then Complain There Is Nothing in the Fridge
…Complain when you spend less, by claiming there’s nothing in the fridge. Hands up who knows what this feels like, as it’s so common in narcissistic dynamics.
One minute, you’re being pulled up for the price of the food you’ve bought, even though you know those are the foods that make them happy.
The next week, you cut back to try to spend less, and that evening, the narcissist complains that you managed to spend food and return from the store with nothing.
Your smile fades, you know you literally try everything to please them, but as usual, what you do is never good enough, and somehow you end up stressed over food.
It’s exactly what the narcissist thrives in; the idea that you are constantly chasing their approval, yet never receiving it.
