A narcissist never likes to see their victim happy. They question what the smile is for, why the joy, and become unhealthily jealous just because it isn’t them.
Your happiness is a threat, and all because good things are happening to you.
Things can get even more weird, as the narcissist does these 7 things when they see you happy.
It isn;t just that they despise you, it’s that they weren’t responsible for your shift in mood.
Control loss is their worst nightmare! Let’s dig in.
#1 There is something lurking behind that smile
It’s incredible to me how much a narcissist can fool others, and the same can be said for how they smile, and what lurks behind it in truth.
You might think it looks supportive, but in actual fact, there’s a whole heap of tension underneath.
It’s as if they’re clapping for you, but the energy they’re sending through is cold and calculated.
Your happiness has riled them, and as much as they want to show you that nothing is wrong, there is everything wrong.
And you know, you can always tell with narcissists because that smile that’s crept across their lips hasn’t reached their face.
And that tells you everything you need to know about how they feel about your happiness.
What lurks behind that smile is rage. Rage that you’re happy and they aren’t the cause.
Rage that you dare show your happiness when nothing out of the ordinary has happened to them.
The narcissist hates how your success makes them feel, and if you observe closely, you will sense the discomfort oozing from them.
#2 Backhanded comment, anyone?
It’s almost there, isn’t it? You kind of feel the compliment, but then it’s followed with a darker aspect.
That’s great … for you at least…
Wow, you actually did it. Finally!
I wish I had the kind of luck you have.
The sentiment wants to be there, but it’s challenging for the narcissist who just cannot be fully on board with how happy you are and why.
There’s a sting accompanied with kindness, and the subtle jab just makes you feel that little more deflated. It shouldn’t, but it does.
It’s as if the narcissist is diluting your happiness, or worse, poisoning it. Should you feel proud or embarrassed that you’re happy?
The narcissist will cloud the answer for you, even though it should be crystal clear.
And that’s their goal. They want to ruin your happiness, but not in an openly obvious way because that would be cruel.
So they shrink your excitement and comment in a way that feels so backhanded.
That’s because it is.
#3 Rewriting the story minimizes your success
Whatever has made you happy, you’ve worked for in some way. In this life, we all have to look for happiness actively in order to feel it.
The narcissist will reframe your happiness to look like some kind of accident or luck, because they don’t want you to think happiness is something you are allowed to earn for yourself.
What great timing.
Somebody must have helped you.
That was a stroke of luck.
Looks like you fell into that one.
Suddenly, you feel a little less than happy, and as they tell the story of your wild luck to others, it totally diminishes the hard effort you put into getting that job, or being able to afford that new car.
And they tell this story to themselves, too, to convince them that they are still the most important person in the world and far more successful.
It goes to show how much you’ve threatened them, and they cannot stand feeling that way.
And so details that don’t exist are added, and facts are changed to fit their comfort.
Soon, your success doesn’t impress, it just sounds like it all happened by accident, which is a very cruel way to treat you after something majorly good has happened.
#4 Victimhood steals your moment
As you are sharing your good news, the narcissist starts to share a problem they have.
Your news makes you smile and beam from ear to ear, but the narcissist replies with a sigh. An ailment. An issue they don’t know how to solve.
You don’t want the spotlight on you, but your success naturally provides that shift.
The narcissist hates that, so it shines from your joy to their pain.
They’re the victim. It doesn’t matter how or why or what, it just matters that this occurs.
There’s a bad day looming, or a sudden emergency, or a memory that cropped up that’s made them sad or hurt.
So what happens? Your happiness falls into the background, and what takes the moment up is their struggle or challenge they’re facing.
Don’t you think it’s pretty creepy that the narcissist chooses that exact moment to deliver this?
That’s why it can never be seen as accidental.
#5 Sabotage!
Listen, I won’t lie. The sabotaging aspect of your happiness by the narcissist is going to hurt, but if they can, they will do it and go unnoticed.
This is where you need to have your wits about you, and spot the signs.
They will forget to show up or take you if you need to be somewhere.
They will be late and stress talk all the drive there, leaving you frazzled. Opportunities become questioned, they create delays, dramas or complications.
The reason?
If you fail they feel instantly better about themselves. They know that their plan has worked, and that you are now struggling to see how success will be possible with their roadblock in the way.
And these will be subtle, like I said, so you really need to keep your eyes open to spot the creepiness going on.
#6 Mockery comes instead of support
As excited as you are, all you hear in return is their jokes at your expense.
Why do you act like a five year old when you’re happy?
Do you need to use the bathroom before you have an accident?
My God, have you seen yourself? It’s pathetic.
As you become hopeful that this good news is the start of a brand new chapter for you, the narcissist makes you sound silly; laughing at your hope, and teasing you just because you are proud of yourself.
Being mocked isn’t a joke, though. It is only one at your expense.
There’s no celebration in it, just the deafening roar of somebody who is jealous of you and what you’re achieving.
#7 You’re punished with a lack of affection
The happier you get, the more a narcissist is likely to pull away. There isn’t as much warmth, and the affection goes right out the window.
That’s not because you did anything terrible, but it’s because you got something right, perhaps even without them being involved.
As you find joy, the narcissist loses control of being able to manipulate your mood, and so they use their affection as a weapon; withholding it to keep you guessing.
You wonder if you did something wrong, and your attention turns to that rather than the happiness you should be feeling.
All becaue your independence scares them.
