When you know you are being gaslighted by the narcissist, it will be game over for them if you can manage to avoid being completely manipulated.
How? By giving them the coldest responses you can think of, and sticking to the reality that their reality is solely designed to mess with your head.
In the most unsubtle of ways, stand up for yourself and let your truth shine through their total crap with these 7 cold responses to gaslighting.
#1 “You can stop right there”
Cut into the gaslighting like a hot knife cuts into butter.
Stop.
Sometimes, this is exactly what you need to do in order to interrupt these vile tactics and gain control back.
Is it not bad enough that you have to put up with whatever it is they’re so far saying to you?
Telling them to stop means there is no more room for manipulation.
Stopping speaking means the words are no longer able to infiltrate into your consciousness and leave you feeling guilty or ashamed for whatever sick reason they’re pushing upon you.
Stop.
You’ve had enough, and you’re using your voice to tell them.
Will they like it? I highly doubt it. But that’s not really your problem, is it?
Let them sit with their own failures while you live in a reality that aligns with your memory and experiences, not what they want you to think or feel.
#2 “It won’t work with me”
Ouch! This is pretty cold, I mean, what good are the narcissists words unless you actually believe them?
If you don’t, their words are useless. Speaking up and letting them know about it proves they are wasting their time, and will make them feel a little confused as well as angry that you’ve figured them out.
It won’t work with me tells the narcissist that you’re aware they’re trying to gaslight you, but that you draw a line and a firm boundary around yourself, and you aren’t letting them in.
What a way to empower yourself, and weaken the narcissist’s claws that have been wrapped around you.
#3 “I know my reality, I don’t need you trying to change it”
Yes! You tell them! You know for so long I’ve wanted all victims of narcissistic abuse everywhere to speak up and say, “You do not need to try to change my reality because it’s real and yours is not.”
This! For every time they try to tell you that you’re too sensitive, or that you have a bad memory.
Enough is enough with it all, and the only way to make them stop it by you calling them out and showing just how little it actually takes to break their game into tiny little pieces.
Remove their lies by simply speaking aloud the fact that they are lies, and you will have won not just the battle, but the entire war. I for one know you have it in you to do this.
And so what if the narcissist tries to come back at you with a pathetic response?
All you need to focus on is the fact that you are defending your right to your own reality, and they can no longer take it away from you.
I’d say that was a resounding success, wouldn’t you?
#4 “You’re entitled to your opinion, I’m entitled to mine”
In case the narcissist ever needed reminding, your opinions are yours and should be left alone.
We don’t all always agree on everything, but given the diversity of the world we live in, I’d say that was more than fair.
It’s a different story when the narcissist tries to change what you believe, or have even experienced.
When they want to curve your thoughts to a certain outcome, I would say it’s a dangerous entanglement to be caught up in.
Narcissists really don’t know when to stop, and will push you to believe what they think will benefit them.
It’s better to think about that for a moment, and say that you’re entitled to your opinion as much as they are entitled to theirs, because at the end of the day, they can think what they want.
But that doesn’t mean you have to think it or believe it, too.
#5 “Are you having memory problems again?”
All too often, narcissists will want to convince you in ways that will leave you feeling lost and confused.
You won’t know which way is up, and which way is down. I’m here to remind you that you don’t have to allow this.
From the start, it’s wise to keep your account of reality close to you, and never be swayed.
If you can do that, you will find asking them if they have memory problems all the easier.
What this does is put into question their side of any story, and that will shake them up.
After all, you know what they’re saying is a lie, and so do they.
Never be put in a position where you are actually being persuaded to believe them, and know how tricky that can be as they’re so convincing at times!
Let them try, and fail, to control you.
You will not be manipulated today!
#6 “Now you’ve lit the gaslight, what will you be cooking?”
I love a sprinkle of sarcasm wherever possible, and this phrase is no exception.
You’re going fully in, letting them know that you know exactly what game they’re trying to play, and you’re saying, “It’s not going to work with me!”
Narcissists aren’t really a fan of sarcasm when it’s aimed at them. And I know what you’re thinking.
I know they love dishing it out, but we are here again, and we know they hate the taste of their own medicine.
This phrase is basically like saying, “I know what you’re doing, so what’s coming next? What have you got next up that sleeve of yours?”
I would bet money they will deny everything and claim to not be gaslighting you, but in saying this, you’ve already told them that you know what’s happening.
There’s no way they will have anything sensible to come back with, so you win.
#7 “I really don’t care what you’re trying to convince me of”
Sometimes, it’s not enough to try and show the narcissist that you don’t care. Sometimes you need to say it aloud.
I don’t care. I am not bothered by your games, and you will not win this war by trying to gaslight me.
You’ve been through it so many times before that you’re now exhausted from it.
So no more bull.
Narcissists don’t deserve your care or concern. Shutting them down as soon as they even try to wriggle and worm their way into your mind to manipulate it should be the point where you stop them and refuse to listen.
You don’t care, and neither should you. The narcissist is clearly trying to make you think a thought that will weaken your mind or emotions, and that’s the very tactic you want to avoid.
Know yourself, know your worth, and know your limits.
