I know it’s not in you to want to see people suffer, and I am sure you’d never want to do anything on purpose to cause pain or misery.
The difference here is that the narcissist’s pain and suffering is nothing but a dent or two to their ego. They’re unable to feel real pain like you or I – but trust me…
They still suffer.
So where is the proof that this can happen?
I’ve got 6 right here that will blow your mind.
Intentional? Or Not…
I don’t believe you’d ever intentionally do anything to make the narcissist suffer.
Good people want good things in life, and good people want to see good outcomes.
Suffering is as painful to watch as much as it is painful to feel, and I know you’re the kind of person who just wants to see peace everywhere.
I don’t blame you.
Sadly, the narcissist isn’t wired that way. They will choose to make you miserable just to make themselves feel briefly better.
And that happiness in them never lasts, which is why they are constantly doing bad things to the people they claim to care about.
It’s a constant cycle of abuse and supply.
And you’re the one suffering.
But what happens when the narcissist suffers? Dented pride. Jealousy – whatever the cause – there’s a consequence.
#1 The Smear Campaign Begins
Smear campaigns are nasty – and they can get really dark.
The problem most victims of any narcissist understands is that there is a lot to recover from when it comes to smear campaigns.
They aren’t just going to come and go; they can last a long time. And it’s how you respond to them that makes all the difference.
I’ll give you an example.
If your toxic ex started to tell your friends that you actually never liked them, and they stopped talking to you, what does it tell you about the entire situation?
For starters, it should tell you that your ex is an absolute narcissist and should be avoided at all costs.
You’d realize that they’re just suffering without you and no longer having you to control and manipulate.
Not only that – the part that’s supposed to hurt you will hurt you – but it should tell you another truth.
That truth is that your friends clearly were never your friends to begin with.
If they can believe the narcissist over you, then they’re giving you zero credit for anything they know about you.
Yes – narcissists can be incredibly persuasive, but that shouldn’t mean your friends don’t want to hear you out, or cut you out entirely.
This is a classic case of the trash taking itself out.
#2 Their New Supply Looks Just Like You
Oh dear. Could they make it any more obvious that they’re suffering big time without you?
And no, that doesn’t mean they love and miss you. It doesn’t mean they regret losing you or treating you how they did. It doesn’t mean they are truly sorry and seeking some kind of closure.
It means they found somebody who reminds them of you, and they want a repeat of what they just had.
They’re suffering without knowing they can turn to you and take any supply they want. You’ve stopped dishing it out, and they have no idea where they’re going to go from here.
I guess they look like they’ve gone onto your clone – but I would bet all I had it won’t have a happy ending either.
Boo hoo.
#3 They Pretend You Never Mattered
It’s a cruel way to punish somebody who has a genuinely good heart – but narcissists are narcissists.
If they’re suffering, they’re going to break hell onto you and pretend as though you never mattered in the first place. It’s unkind, but I mean, we’re dealing with narcissists here, so it’s going to be unsurprising.
Narcissists will act like this to save face. They are hurting and underneath the guise of indifference, they will be feeling it.
After all, they just lost somebody who gave them a good dose of supply on a daily basis, and now they have nothing.
Pretending you never mattered will put them back in the driving seat. If they showed their fear of being alone, they’d be at your mercy in some way, or so they think.
They just can’t have that, so it’s much easier to expel this approach to act above you, and already over you.
#4 They Try to Hoover You Back
Before you go, the narcissist has one more thing they want to try and do. You’ll be familiar with it, because it’s how they got you to be with them initially.
The hoover.
They want to pull you toward them – quite literally – to try to keep you from leaving.
That might look like:
- Sending you the songs that remind them of you.
- Talking about memories you made together (the odd good one, that is…)
- Sending you flowers or gestures of ‘love’
- Trying to meet you or bump into you where they know you will be
- Offering you hard-to-resist invite,s like tickets to see your favorite band in concert or a vacation
- Pretending they’ve changed and that they won’t hurt you again – “I’ve learned my lesson!” (Yeah, right)
Hoovering is successful a lot of the time because it gives victims another chance to see if the relationship will work the way they always hoped it would.
All that faith you carry as somebody looking to your abuser to change can be offered briefly during the hoover phase, but it will be retracted soon after you agree to give it another go.
My advice?
Ignore all the gestures.
I know they’re tempting – but the narcissist is playing on all your weaknesses during this time – hoping you will succumb to what they’re offering.
Shiny packages like this are nothing but fool’s gold.
#5 Their Image Starts Cracking
It’s fun to watch, isn’t it? You almost want to take a hammer and help the cracking a little faster. You’re making the narcissist suffer because you’re starting to speak truths that they aren’t ready to hear.
When a narcissist’s image starts cracking, you will find them at their most lost they’ve ever been.
They do not know what to do when the world they’ve built, the image they’re pushing to portray is starting to not work. The shine is not buffering. The charm is malfunctioning.
And it’s funny to see.
Underneath the cracking lies a person who has been trying hard to remain a secret.
The more they are becoming exposed, the more suffering you will see the narcissist go through.
Anger
Fear.
Rage.
Isolation.
Revenge.
Sudden ‘health conditions.’
Smear campaigns.
The narcissist will do whatever it takes to make it out alive – but they certainly won’t be making it out in one piece.
There is freedom in seeing the narcissist suffer – freedom for you that is.
That in itself will drive the narcissist even more crazy, but that’s only because they’ve been used to being the ones who call the shots and control your narrative, thoughts and opinions.
Any suffering they;re going through is self-inflicted!
